The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind
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That suggests we should be intolerant of intolerance, which is an oxymoron.
Sure, if you think of it as purely semantic, or a zero sum game with no nuance, but it's not.
Gotta be intolerant of those being needlessly cruel to those just trying to live their lives, and gotta be tolerant of those just trying to live their lives that don't affect you, even if you find it cringey.
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Almost as if the statement is referring to the paradox of tolerance.
By allowing people like Nazis, Christofascists, Tankies, etc. a platform, it only invites more sharing that view to spread their bullshit around. You see it on platforms like Truth Social and X, but in reverse.
If this is to be a kind place, we must encourage kindness and rid ourselves of unkindness. You can’t tolerate intolerance, lest it spread and take over.
If you allow wolves and sheep into a space, that is a wolves-only space.
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Also try to post stuff. I need to follow my own advice more.
Baby steps!
I found it helped me build the habbit if I kept an eye out for posts that could be cross posted to smaller more niche communitiesThere are a lot of times where a post only gets posted on a bigger community because it has enough traffic, and smaller niche communities would benefit from folks crossposting it around!
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I've noticed most discussions i have here end with a LOT less anger and a LOT more learning and that makes me happy.
Fuck yeah! I think that's the thing that makes the fediverse special
We all care enough about the online spaces we choose to inhabit that we leave the big platforms for something kinder. I think that's worth leaning into
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I think part of pleasantness is not bringing politics into things that weren’t intended to be about politics.
The problem is politics impacts everything and the word "political" means different things to different people.
To some, talking about being gay is political, even though to people who are in that community, it's literally just talking about their lives.
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Fuck yeah! I think that's the thing that makes the fediverse special
We all care enough about the online spaces we choose to inhabit that we leave the big platforms for something kinder. I think that's worth leaning into
100%
Internet by the people, and for the people, truly.
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That suggests we should be intolerant of intolerance, which is an oxymoron.
Paradox of Tolerance - Karl Poppler - 1945
It's a shame that something we already figured out 60 years ago still needs to be learned by most people.
The good news is, this is an opportunity for you to grow and be better right now. It's never too late to improve yourself.
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The last time I went to Reddit, I felt like everyone was trying to pick a fight, and would jump on me for any tiny reason.
No point being part of a community like that, the whole place is a dumpster fire, but if everyone is either trolling or turning on each other, it's much worse.
I hope as Lemmy gets more popular, it doesn't inherit those problems.
I think as early members of this small online space we have to potential to cement a kinder culture that can influence even what this platform is like many years from now, with users that won't be here for a long time!
People tend to match energy with the people they're engaging with. When you show people kindness they intuitively respond the same way, and when that's the culture, I think it can profoundly shape people's social behaviors
And this space being as small as it is, we all have an outsized impact on that culture compared to something like reddit where any given user makes up such a teeeeny tiny fraction of the social interaction there.
We can all create that kind of culture that leads with kindness and prompts others to follow suit
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
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Be kind
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Ask people what they think, and why
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Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
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Engage sincerely
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Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
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Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
I can co-sign this if we can agree that some types of ‘disagreements’ don’t belong on the fediverse, a la the Nazi bar problem.
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Here are some more specific examples to think about!
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Compliment people's art and ask about their process
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Teach people about something you're knowledgeable on
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Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it's welcome
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Thank people for posting things you're glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it
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Tell people you're glad they're here
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Tell people you hope they have a good day
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts
On constructive criticism - definitely rule one is make sure that it's invited first, but second, the best way to "sweeten" a critique and make it more appealing is to put it between compliments. Don't have a bare remark about the problems or suggestions, tell them what you like first, then how they might change things, and then close with something else positive or simply thanking them for sharing it. Even if someone says they want to hear what people think, it's normal to be defensive, so help lower that reaction first, and then leave them feeling appreciated even though you pointed out issues you saw.
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On constructive criticism - definitely rule one is make sure that it's invited first, but second, the best way to "sweeten" a critique and make it more appealing is to put it between compliments. Don't have a bare remark about the problems or suggestions, tell them what you like first, then how they might change things, and then close with something else positive or simply thanking them for sharing it. Even if someone says they want to hear what people think, it's normal to be defensive, so help lower that reaction first, and then leave them feeling appreciated even though you pointed out issues you saw.
Absolutely agree, some folks just wanna share, some folks wanna get constructive crit to try and technically improve! Its important to be respectful of what kind of interaction folks are looking for
And absolutely, talking about both good and bad doesn't just make it less unpleasant or more enjoyable to get feedback, it also makes better, more helpful feedback! (Assuming that's a thing they're looking for)
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
Well, yeah, be kind and post!
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
Contribute Knowledge!
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
One thing that's turning me off, is the, uh... political requirements of much of the space.
By that I mean stuff like "Elon Musk should commit suicide" or "X group of people are all mentally retarded" comments in top posts, or even popular posts themselves.
It feels toxic like X. Or what Voat (an older Reddit clone, albeit not a federated one) turned into, albeit at the opposite side of the political spectrum, hence no one contributed to non-political niches and the site died in toxicity.
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Aka the compliment sandwich. A technique I personally dislike. Be honest and open with your feedback in a positive way, don't try to hide it between compliments.
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This is a whole different train of thought (mine is, I won't speak for yours) and I don't wanna derail my original thought but that's a thing I've been thinking about a lot lately.
I agree with you, and subscribe to the idea of tolerance as a social contract that, once broken, is no longer owed to the one who broke the contract.
At the same time, I've also learned that very explicitly, feeling persecuted is a requisite ingredient in radicalizing people into hate groups. And that at an individual scale, it's generally undeserved compassion that helps deradicalize them. We know this from the accounts of people who managed to leave hate groups- a little while ago there was really good (and long) interview with someone who used to be leader of a white nationalist group where he talked a fair bit about that idea, since he now works with a nonprofit that helps families and friends support and deradicalize loved ones, but it's far from the only account
At present I'm really not sure how I personally reconcile those two things I belive to be true. The Nazi bar analogy is real.
I know wading into this more specific conversion runs the risk of immediately derailing what I was trying to start a discussion about, but I figured I'd share my thoughts. If anyone reads this and has thoughts to share (though I'd prefer not to get 50 comments just saying I suck for having complicated views on what we do about the predicament the US and world is in with the rise of fascist ideology. I'm interested in what's effective in terms of fixing the problem just like you are) I'd be interested in hearing them. I'm still looking for a way to synthesize my beliefs into a coherent whole.
I agree with everything you said at the top and this comment as well. You don't have to be mean, cruel, or shitty to the bad actors. In fact the best case scenario is to make your case once and then walk away. It's much easier to talk about than to actually do, but it's really effective. If you assume they're not trolls or bad actors, even better. All of these actions curtail flame wars, which is what they're after anyway.
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Thanks for sharing! I'm not perfect at this, but I try to keep the vibes welcoming.
Lemmy's more intimate and understanding vibes are its best features IMO.
Hell yeah
And I absolutely agree. Lemmy straight up isn't as big as reddit, it's important that there be stuff to see, but I think one of the best things about the fediverse is that it feels so much more like healthy, actual social interaction, and I think that's a strength we ought to celebrate and actively facilitate
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
I have also noticed people agreeing with someone in a reply to another comment, but the original commenter has no upvotes. If you agree, upvote. If you kind of agree, upvote. If you don't agree, but they make a good case, upvote and then say that. Upvotes make people feel good.
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
I love this.
I think it’s important to say this doesn’t mean pretending you like or agree with something you don’t like or agree with.
But when you do see something you like or agree with, drop a compliment. Compliments make places better!
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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
-
Be kind
-
Ask people what they think, and why
-
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility
-
Engage sincerely
-
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
-
Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
Good luck with that. Volunteer moderation tends to attract some of the most toxic individuals on the planet.
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