Am I a bad person?

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That's bad, I'd classify your sister under family-owner business. By retailer I really meant the large gargantuan ones that sell everything, I have to admit I never knew retailers extended to small business owners

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I agree. You're letting your better nature take control, taking responsibility, and making amends.

You should be proud of that.

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Stealing is morally neutral, but can be a dick move if it's against individuals/results in the dispossession of something a person needs or cares about. But shoplifting/stealing from businesses is fine. They consider it inventory loss the same as if they dropped a bottle on the floor. It's written into their spending calculations and is an expected part of business. And quote unquote "small businesses" still had enough capital to start a business in the first place, and are ultimately insignificant anyway since the petit-bourgeoisie is doomed to forever either become big bourgeoisie or become proletarianised/unpropertied; proletarianisation is a progressive force and I'm not bothered if members of the petit-bourgeoisie become proletarianised, not that they will anyway purely from someone shoplifting lol.

Just follow the standard advice. Don't shit where you eat (don't shoplift somewhere you'd be upset if you got banned from) is the main one I adhere to. If you're only shoplifting small amounts I wouldn't worry about cops either, for small amounts they'll just ban you from the store, at least where I live idk about everywhere.

For individuals, I wouldn't steal from them if you care about your relationship with them. If they find out they'll probably be upset. If I found out someone stole from me I'd mostly be upset at the dishonesty. So it's good that you've been honest with your mom and are going to tell your brother. If it were me, I would be thinking, if you need something from me you could've just asked. Although it sounds like you're not stealing because it's something you particularly want or need, but just because you find stealing fun. In which case I would say just try to limit your stealing to shoplifting, or piracy if it scratches the same itch. Or steal from people you find particularly contemptible I guess.

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I'd be careful about that. Walmart in particular is getting nasty about theft. Even in making a mistake at the self checkout they've ruined people's lives.

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If you’re only shoplifting small amounts I wouldn’t worry about cops either, for small amounts they’ll just ban you from the store, at least where I live idk about everywhere.

Beware. A lot of stories, namely large chain stores, are tracking people who shoplift with cameras and won't press charges until you've cumulatively stolen enough for it to qualify as a serious offence with jail time and permanent criminal record.

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Kant would argue that you universalize all forms of theft by stealing so if we ever see stealing as immoral then it is wrong to do as it fails the metric of the application of the categorical imperative. I mean I don’t buy into Kantian morality but if one did he might make less of a distinction between them.

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(Your comment is hidden on the main post weirdly)

I view stealing more in kharmic sense: if you steal from me, I should be able to steal from you. Retailers legal theft by price gouging shouldn't be overlooked just because its legal.

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Just because you grew doesnt mean it's gone. Do it. The worst it can happen is you not getting anything out of this

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The thing is not the amout of times or money, it's feeling sorry and "the urge". doing it because you have no morals or because you feel he owes you wouldn't be because of an urge nor you would feel sorry

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(Your comment is hidden on the main post weirdly)

I assume you mean you can't see it on discuss.online

This is because that server defederated from lemmygrad.ml see https://discuss.online/instances for a list of instances that discuss.online blocks. This also means that op cannot read this thread.

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I hope that going back the money and buying him lunch will be enough. But don't be surprised if he loses trust in you and needs more to rebuild the relationship.

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Woah wtf?

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Yeah idek

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Yeah Walmart does the same thing. It's usually because the cops don't really care about individual thefts but if they show you repeatedly stealing they can bring a real case against you

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There's not really any value in determining whether labels like good person or bad person apply to you. Either option tends to end in the same result: an end to the process of introspection and a continuation of the same behavior you're already doing. "I'm a good person so I don't have to change" or "I'm a bad person so there's no point in trying to change" but change is the only thing that will actually affect the feelings that are inspiring you to ask the question.

The update looks like a step in a healthy direction. You felt scared so you looked for support and you felt guilty so you looked to apologize (and reimburse). Stay focused on the process of feeling better and stop stressing about absolutes.

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Yeah, but you still have to differentiate between teenagers trying out their borders and pathological cleptomania.

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yes, I can't do that but that's why I believe it would be good for him to have a professional.assessment.

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I think it would be more constructive to talk to a therapist about this compulsion to steal.

Everyone steals a couple times as a kid I think but it sounds like you still have this compulsion and did it far more frequently than most kids. Really only a therapist can help you work through this. And the guilt you feel associated with it.

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I think no, because you plan a real apology with restitution and have a plan to do better and are actually doing better. If you have to try to be "good" and are, I would argue you are a better person than someone who doesn't have to try.

Think of it as your character arc. You started out bad and are improving. If you aren't good yet, you will be. Keep practicing.

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Am I a bad person?