Am I a bad person?

[missjinx@lemmy.world]

The thing is not the amout of times or money, it's feeling sorry and "the urge". doing it because you have no morals or because you feel he owes you wouldn't be because of an urge nor you would feel sorry

[lemming934@lemmy.sdf.org]

(Your comment is hidden on the main post weirdly)

I assume you mean you can't see it on discuss.online

This is because that server defederated from lemmygrad.ml see https://discuss.online/instances for a list of instances that discuss.online blocks. This also means that op cannot read this thread.

[tempermentalanomaly@lemmy.world]

I hope that going back the money and buying him lunch will be enough. But don't be surprised if he loses trust in you and needs more to rebuild the relationship.

[jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml]

Woah wtf?

[ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com]

Yeah idek

[notsteve_@lemmy.ca]

Yeah Walmart does the same thing. It's usually because the cops don't really care about individual thefts but if they show you repeatedly stealing they can bring a real case against you

[steposvenzny@beehaw.org]

There's not really any value in determining whether labels like good person or bad person apply to you. Either option tends to end in the same result: an end to the process of introspection and a continuation of the same behavior you're already doing. "I'm a good person so I don't have to change" or "I'm a bad person so there's no point in trying to change" but change is the only thing that will actually affect the feelings that are inspiring you to ask the question.

The update looks like a step in a healthy direction. You felt scared so you looked for support and you felt guilty so you looked to apologize (and reimburse). Stay focused on the process of feeling better and stop stressing about absolutes.

[menemen@lemmy.ml]

Yeah, but you still have to differentiate between teenagers trying out their borders and pathological cleptomania.

[missjinx@lemmy.world]

yes, I can't do that but that's why I believe it would be good for him to have a professional.assessment.

[peregrin5@lemm.ee]

I think it would be more constructive to talk to a therapist about this compulsion to steal.

Everyone steals a couple times as a kid I think but it sounds like you still have this compulsion and did it far more frequently than most kids. Really only a therapist can help you work through this. And the guilt you feel associated with it.

[rbwells@lemmy.world]

I think no, because you plan a real apology with restitution and have a plan to do better and are actually doing better. If you have to try to be "good" and are, I would argue you are a better person than someone who doesn't have to try.

Think of it as your character arc. You started out bad and are improving. If you aren't good yet, you will be. Keep practicing.