Is it too late to develop a social life in your mid 20s if you never had one prior?

[tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

Mid-20s is honestly the perfect time to start

[toastal@lemmy.ml]

The most difficult part is keeping your privacy respected. Normals will require you congregate on some proprietary, data-thieving platform to participate.

[melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

Too late? No way! Success depends a lot on your expectations and sense of self, so I would encourage you to be in therapy to get those straight. We all need therapy, but now would be a good time for you, before starting a new way of life.

But no way. You are perfectly fine.

[presidentcamacho@lemm.ee]

Definitely get therapy, everyone should. Also don't avoid socializing while u work on yourself In therapy, dual path it!

[wuphysics87@lemmy.ml]

When I hear "social life", "romantic", and "platonic" right next to each other like that, I think "social life" is code for spitting game. If that's the case I'll let you know when I figure it out

[muse@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

I was the same, then I went to a lot of places: classes at community college and community centers, worked in restaurants, cafes, retail stores, and stayed at Airbnbs that were crowded like hostels. Sometimes you get talking with a co-worker or roommate, then get invited to a party and maybe find new friendships there.

[sal@mander.xyz]

No, not at all! As you grow older, it may not be as automatic as when you are in school. Many of the people that you interact with might be focused on their own stuff (work, partner, family, hobbies, finance) and not too motivated to expand or even have a "social life" in whatever free time they have (if they even do). But this is not everyone. There is still a lot of people at every age that do want a social life, you just need to put in a bit of effort to connect with them.

And, a tip, do not consider failed attempts at socializing as a "failure" on your side. Perceived rejection often boils down to people being very attached to their free time, and socializing not being on their list of priorities. If you keep this in mind then you do not need to feel discomfort from rejection, and you can be active in your search for like-minded people without worry.

[daggermoon@lemmy.world]

I hope so, otherwise I'm fucked.

[capriciousday@lemmy.ml]

A good way is to find a meetup group with some shared interest. It doesn't really matter what so long as the crowd is good and you know enough to hold a conversation in the subject.

[gecko4469@lemmy.world]

No it’s not too late! I didn’t start branching out and making new friends outside of the ones I made in high school until I was about 28. I got in touch more with acquaintances and started going out to bars. It wasn’t immediate and you have to be ok with having days that it doesn’t work, and show up repeatedly and you can start knowing people. You also should feel ok with the fact that not everyone will be super close friends and that it can take time, and that’s ok. You are allowed to exist in public spaces just like everyone else. The first few times I went out I didn’t talk to anyone at all. Nowadays I can go out and have days I don’t talk to anyone or meet anyone new or see anyone I know, but that is also ok. It’s a numbers game and you have to just keep going and get comfortable with checking in with your feelings and accepting when you feel social and when you don’t and accepting when things don’t turn out how you want and just appreciating being human and being out in the world. Go to cafes and listen to music and read books, go to bars and strike up conversations when you’re inspired, become a regular, ask people’s names, strike up casual conversation, accept awkwardness as part of the process and just keep moving forward! I now have multiple circles of friends that I’m close with to varying degrees and usually see someone I know when I go out. Work on your hobbies and career when you’re not socializing to have things to talk about and relate to, and be curious about other people and their lives. Most of the time at bars other people are also there to socialize, and you absolutely do not have to drink to be welcome at a bar. Do virgin drinks, sodas, water, pineapple soda, and ask the bartenders their choices in non alcoholic drinks.

[agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works]

It's definitely harder after college, but not impossible. You're just going to have to put in a bit of effort. The two best recommendations I can make are:

1. getting involved in some kind of hobby that's either inherently social (board games, team sports, etc.) or puts you together in the same place with other hobbyists (I've done a lot of socializing at rock climbing gyms, despite it technically being a solo thing)

2. working a job that forces you to socialize in small doses (hospitality, customer service, etc). Being thrust into micro X interactions dozens of times a day makes it a lot easier to approach people in casual settings.

[thevoidzero@lemmy.world]

Depends on circumstances a lot. It's easy if you're in college/work with similar people. Otherwise it might be hard to start, especially if you don't have a lot of free time.

I moved a lot alone and had to make a new social life a lot. during school, for high school, for college, then jobs, then moved country. Except for last one where I knew a few people every other case I had 0 friends carried over. Hardest to have a social life was during the time I was working on jobs as the ability to meet new people decreased a lot.

So basically it is hard when you don't goto college and job where you are forced to spend time with people, but that can also sometimes makes it hard to hangout with the same people outside of work.

So far things that have worked out for me:

• People with same interest that you randomly meet sometimes.
• keep your social media connected and when you see stories of people doing things you like strike a conversation about it. Don't force to have full convo, just say your piece about that story and leave it be if it doesn't go any farther. Small talks just sharing some sentences are good starting points. If it happens a few time with same person you might find someone you have common things with.
• try some group activities that doesn't have to have a lot of talking. Something you can be present there just doing your thing, it could be local recreational sports group, volunteering, library, etc.
• friends of friends, statistically your friends in average have more friends than you, so just hangout with them in group activities, and try to make new connections. You have to start somewhere.
• online friends, sometimes it just helps to have people to talk to, careful on who you're hanging out with, but fandoms and such online are good to make friends that you can talk to without responsibilities of maintaining a relationship. It'll help you be more open on sharing your interests.