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Let's play this game again

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • J [email protected]

    Be able to transform into animals

    V This user is from outside of this forum
    V This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #223

    But not humans

    J 1 Reply Last reply
    4
    • A [email protected]

      The transformation takes about a week each way. So you have a lot of awkward time where you've got furry privates and horrible clawed hands while you wait for the change to complete.

      F This user is from outside of this forum
      F This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #224

      Oh you had to go there - Op becomes the most successful account on patreon.

      O 1 Reply Last reply
      7
      • louslash@sh.itjust.worksL [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        N This user is from outside of this forum
        N This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #225

        impeccable social skills

        F estebiu@lemmy.dbzer0.comE M sal@mander.xyzS J 7 Replies Last reply
        1
        • C [email protected]

          Super speed of course!!

          merc@sh.itjust.worksM This user is from outside of this forum
          merc@sh.itjust.worksM This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #226

          I like to imagine that this is what it's actually like for The Flash, or Quicksilver or another speedster:

          Sure, you can move super fast, but to do that, your thinking also has to speed up to handle that fast movement. So, it's more like everything else in the universe slows down except you. Now, it's still an amazing power, but think about those times when The Flash uses his super speed to build a brick wall nearly instantly, or to read every book in the library in the blink of an eye.

          To you, building that brick wall takes what feels like a week. You're running at what feels like 30 km/h to get a handful of bricks. It feels like it takes you about 20 minutes to get to the place with the bricks. You run them back to the place you're building the wall, you put them into the wall. Then you run another 20 minutes to get the next load of bricks. While you're doing this boring wall building, you can't chat with anybody, you can't listen to a podcast, you're just stuck doing manual labour for what feels like a week without any distractions or entertainment.

          If you speed-read every book in a library, that feels like it takes a month. Hopefully you like reading dry reference books, or whatever it is you're reading, because that's all you get to do for however long it takes. Someone watching you might see you flipping through the pages in fractions of a second. But, to you, it still feels like it takes 2 minutes or so per page, and that's if the material isn't difficult to understand.

          Maybe super speed needs to come with super autism so that you get really engaged in these tasks and don't mind sinking what feels like days, weeks or months into one monotonous thing.

          1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • N [email protected]

            impeccable social skills

            F This user is from outside of this forum
            F This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #227

            You ward everyone away with your constant bad body odor

            N 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

              KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

              "Hi, is there a Resol in the house? My name is Agent uh, Jones, I'm here from the NSA. We've got work for you to do."

              resol@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
              resol@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #228

              I didn't know "Agent uh," was a valid profession.

              mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • wizard_pope@lemmy.worldW [email protected]

                Just gimme photographic memory.

                merc@sh.itjust.worksM This user is from outside of this forum
                merc@sh.itjust.worksM This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #229

                I once read a news article about a woman who had Eidetic memory (a.k.a. photographic memory). It made her life shitty. She was never "in the moment", because everything triggered a memory. She could never forgive anybody for their past slights, because they were always fresh in her memory. It wasn't the ability to recall anything you wanted whenever you wanted to. Instead it was the condition where you constantly had detailed memories flooding in when something you saw, smelled, heard, tasted, felt, etc. triggered a memory, or a dozen memories.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • F [email protected]

                  Granted, but your momentum is teleported with you. The earth is hurtling through space at over 100,000 km and you are on its -spinning- surface subjected to multiple momentum influences constantly.

                  Keep it to short distances and you might be ok, but with distance comes chaos.

                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #230

                  Lmao not how it works. Things are only moving in relation to other things, if you're affixed to the earth then almost any other point on earth relative to you is not moving.

                  If you teleport in refence to some other celestial body that sounds kind of dumb and also possibly a skill issue.

                  B 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • merc@sh.itjust.worksM [email protected]

                    IRS audits, people kidnapping you and/or your family to get at your money, an inability to know who likes you for yourself and who just wants your money...

                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                    #231

                    And also less popular than Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg combined: even the Russians don't want to hook you on drugs and prostitutes.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • resol@lemmy.worldR [email protected]

                      I didn't know "Agent uh," was a valid profession.

                      mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                      mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #232

                      trying to indicate the government worker desire to introduce themselves, then realizing they don't in any way want to give their actual name out lol

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • louslash@sh.itjust.worksL [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #233

                        Not having to sleep. You can just be awake 24/7 without the usual cognitive decline or feelings of being tired.

                        macncheezus@lemmy.todayM itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI A T drunkanroot@sh.itjust.worksD 6 Replies Last reply
                        6
                        • F [email protected]

                          You ward everyone away with your constant bad body odor

                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #234

                          oh shit oh shit I'll keep my awkwardness and remain fragrant then

                          little8lost@lemmy.worldL 1 Reply Last reply
                          2
                          • P [email protected]

                            You are also affected.

                            F This user is from outside of this forum
                            F This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #235

                            This is the only side effect on this comment that doesn't try to invalidate the power.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • louslash@sh.itjust.worksL [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              F This user is from outside of this forum
                              F This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #236

                              Unfortunately I am already perfection, and unfortunately the side effect is living amongst the humans and seeing them for what they are, unable to help them in meaningful ways.

                              aksamit@slrpnk.netA 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • M [email protected]

                                Not having to sleep. You can just be awake 24/7 without the usual cognitive decline or feelings of being tired.

                                macncheezus@lemmy.todayM This user is from outside of this forum
                                macncheezus@lemmy.todayM This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #237

                                It's called methamphetamine and you have to keep doing it for the effect to work. Also, after 5 days or so, the shadow people start haunting you.

                                M 1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • louslash@sh.itjust.worksL [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #238

                                  The power to negate side effects of any kind. :]

                                  N jhogenbaum@leminal.spaceJ B A rmuk@feddit.ukR 6 Replies Last reply
                                  7
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    You can give it to others but never yourself.

                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #239

                                    I'd take that power.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • M [email protected]

                                      The power to negate side effects of any kind. :]

                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #240

                                      You remove superpower along with its side effects.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      4
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        only you see it

                                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #241

                                        I already have this power.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        3
                                        • M [email protected]

                                          Not having to sleep. You can just be awake 24/7 without the usual cognitive decline or feelings of being tired.

                                          itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #242

                                          You still dream, though. At times, it becomes hard to distinguish between reality and your nightmares

                                          M 1 Reply Last reply
                                          14
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