The great millennial garbage gyre
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Make a lemmy community for dating.
I wouldn't want to meet other Lemmy users in person, let alone date them.
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I'm always surprised to hear people unimpressed with others on dating apps. A couple of my friends have shared their "feeds" and I was struck by how many good-looking people are out there. But they would swipe away from just the smallest turn-offs becoming deal breakers. Like if I saw these people in real life, I would think of them as average looking at worst, many being remarkably attractive. This is in the 20s to mid 30s range like the tweet. I definitely understand deciding you're incompatible based on politics or religion or culture but most of the time it would be for minor quirks. It felt like they were spoiled for choice in my eyes.
But then again, they're in serious long term relationships with conventionally attractive and supportive partners now so maybe being picky pays off. At the time, their reluctance to settle was a very frustrating experience for them.
There's definitely a lot of people who overestimate what they bring to a relationship, and I think women are more prone to it than men because they're typically the ones being pursued.
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Just make a new account
It’s a bit harder than that. They have your POS info and block from that.
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Close, they actively fight success. Legally obligated to, even. It’s their fiduciary responsibility to keep you using the app.
That's not really how that works.
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sorry ladies, im exclusively looking for love on the Rumble forums
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I think the 17 year old sees them because they've got their age range at like 18-20, loads of underage people make Tinder accounts and put their real age in the bio. And the 29 year old would then see a lot fewer men. That's what I'm guessing the comment you replied to was about.
This guy gets it.
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I'm so glad I've never had to date officially. My first two girlfriends I met at school the latter of which I was in a relationship after school, which was good. My current partner is, strangely, also related to the school I've been to as we've met via a common acquaintance. Getting to know each other happened mostly via texts and then through meetings - unofficial dates, I guess - and the rest is history.
I can't imagine the stress of using these dating platforms constantly. Putting yourself out the over and over again, meeting all kinds of people for a shred of possible companionship. Must be so exhausting. Don't even wanna think about what the experience must be for women* and female-presenting people
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Millennial here. Have recently dabbled with the apps. Honestly the guys I was shown were not objectively bad looking. Many of them were pretty attractive. But not my type at all. My interests were books and video games and nerdy sweetness…and it kept recommending me muscle gym divorced military dads. So I gave up.
Yeah at first it is. The algorithm learns about you over time and it gets a little better with regular use. It still has a bit of a blind spot around nerd/geek culture.
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Ha!
As a middle aged man you think its great for us? You think all the hot, sane, independent women in their 30s and 40s are strugging for options? If you're on there theres a 80% chance that you're no catch either.
Last time my dude showed me a bunch of profiles it was easily 50% "applications to be a stepdad" and 25% women with a checklist (6 foot tall, good living, own house, etc.) Like 6 foot tall athletic lawyers who own their own home are having trouble meeting women.
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Every starting conversation on Bumble was like:
"Hey"
If that happend, it triggered me so hard. Its like the insanest thing ever. Why are you even on bumble then.
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I’ve given up entirely on relationships at this point
Perfect! You'll meet your person when you least expect it. There's a big day coming for you.
Anyone in Oklahoma want to go geocaching lol
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All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly… aren’t. And they’re HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Had a friend who joked that if anyone questioned whether she was still hot, they only had to count the rings.
But to do that you'd have to cut her in half
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Ha!
As a middle aged man you think its great for us? You think all the hot, sane, independent women in their 30s and 40s are strugging for options? If you're on there theres a 80% chance that you're no catch either.
Last time my dude showed me a bunch of profiles it was easily 50% "applications to be a stepdad" and 25% women with a checklist (6 foot tall, good living, own house, etc.) Like 6 foot tall athletic lawyers who own their own home are having trouble meeting women.
Social media is raising expectations to unrealistic levels. As if Hollywood wasn't bad enough for past generations.
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If that happend, it triggered me so hard. Its like the insanest thing ever. Why are you even on bumble then.
Why are you expecting conversations to be otherworldly?
How many conversations in real life with people you like start with something akin to "hey"? I'm gunna bet most but I suppose I could be wrong.
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I wouldn't want to meet other Lemmy users in person, let alone date them.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Being a Lemmy person isn't a great point of connection but it would be nice to see how they interact with other users in other Lemmy communities.
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I just got so sick of using the apps and their crappy interface. I can never remember if left is good, or right is good. Who designed that was a good idea?
The interface literally tells you as you do it which is which...
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Yeah at first it is. The algorithm learns about you over time and it gets a little better with regular use. It still has a bit of a blind spot around nerd/geek culture.
Literally fuck algorithms. Anything that has one is dead to me, if at all possible.
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Literally fuck algorithms. Anything that has one is dead to me, if at all possible.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yes, they literally are fuck algorithms.
Not a fan of how corporations make them work myself but understanding a little about them can make things like this a little less frustrating.
I would argue that the existence of an algorithm isn't inherently evil, they just ruin things when they're designed to maximize profit.
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That's not really how that works.
I’d love for you to be right. Please elaborate.
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OkCupid used to actually work rather well at finding compatible people who were actually honest about what they were looking for.
Then it got bigger, got acquired, and the matching model of the whole industry was intentionally modified to be more monetizable, and to keep giving matches that are close, but not close enough to be truely long term compatible.
You aren't using the app/website anymore if it works and gets you a successful long term match.
You are using the app for a longer time if you keep getting close but just missing the mark.
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Do people not think their dating app is tracking... how many matches and text exchanges they have?
How much time elapses between you matching, chatting, leaving... and then going back to swiping?
And then multidimensional matrix comparing that to every other definable variable about you?
Including whether or not you say you're looking for something long term, or serious... but you actually keep cycling through people?
These algos, these things... they know exactly to what extent you lie to yourself and others, and they weaponize that to keep people in a sort of optimal (for the app, not you), constant disappointment loop.
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Everything digital is now way beyond 'if its free, you are the product'.
The model is now entirely attention, addiction based, and manipulating your emotions in as close to real time as possible is absolutely integral to all this.
People forget that over a decade ago, Zuckerberg said his dream was to be able to predict with high accuracy what any given Facebook user would post next.
Nearly a decade ago, Netflix CEO or some such stated 'our primary competitor is sleep'.
People largely do not realize the extent to which these corpo fucks have been running highly precise and targeted manipulation of every aspect of human behavior... all to drive goddamn ad revenue and market share, ie, entrench themselves as institutions the modern world is no longer imaginable without.
I'm just confused as to how there isn't a dating app that is better.
