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  3. why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
@menarefuckings
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  • T [email protected]

    Lmao the thread shows all the exact problems laid bare.

    You got the denial guy, you got the false equivalency guy, you got the not all men guy, just incredible they're all here.

    originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO This user is from outside of this forum
    originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #35

    right! its like they came out of the woodwork to prove my point!

    T 1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • T [email protected]

      Don't like what you see in the mirror?

      H This user is from outside of this forum
      H This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #36

      I know you edited your post, which still has things I think are wrong, but OP is absolutely correct based on your initial post… JS

      T 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • H [email protected]

        I know you edited your post, which still has things I think are wrong, but OP is absolutely correct based on your initial post… JS

        T This user is from outside of this forum
        T This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #37

        My edit was only adding the 2nd paragraph. And no, it is not wrong and the OP is not correct

        H 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

          right! its like they came out of the woodwork to prove my point!

          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #38

          Hold on, lemme willfully misinterpret your intent and reframe it so it's about meeee. I'm the good one let me innnnn

          1 Reply Last reply
          3
          • Z [email protected]

            Honestly the varied mobile platforms don't always present the channel/groups rules in advance. Especially if one is just browsing trending topics. There can potentially be no way for some users to be informed enough before they see a topic they want to interact with.

            Best solution I found for similar issue is polite advisement of the rules via dm or other preferred method and helping them learn and have better internet etiquette.

            Calling folks out publicly can get alot of negative associations with it as well which might end with you group on the wrong end of a troll.

            N This user is from outside of this forum
            N This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #39

            Yup, this is it for me. I blocked womenstuff, mostly so that they wouldn't have to deal with me stumbling in from sorting all by new.

            1 Reply Last reply
            4
            • T [email protected]

              Lmao the thread shows all the exact problems laid bare.

              You got the denial guy, you got the false equivalency guy, you got the not all men guy, just incredible they're all here.

              N This user is from outside of this forum
              N This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #40

              Forgot one: randomly stumbled in after sorting by new guys.

              I blocked womenstuff for their sake, not mine.

              K 1 Reply Last reply
              4
              • B [email protected]

                Mandatory penis inspection, obviously.

                W This user is from outside of this forum
                W This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #41

                I seriously hope you mean this as a joke.

                K 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                  im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                  the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                  what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #42

                  The rules are not clearly presented when you're just scrolling through a generic AllPost feed. I've almost commented to one of these just the other day before realizing at the last second what community it was.

                  Also, when you're discussing men, especially negatively, and expect men to not jump in to defend themselves, that's a bit naive to think they'll stay out of it. Some of those threads can get really echo chamber and dogpile feeling.

                  And people would be throwing a shit fit if the genders were reversed here. I'm sure there are some bitter people out there that don't like the double standard. There seems to be a lot of overgeneralization where the bad behavior of a select few gets broadly painted onto the entire gender. This, again, has a double standard of being an acceptable thing to do, to the point that even within this thread someone is mocking others for pointing out "not all men" as a response.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  9
                  • U [email protected]

                    Is this about the public community, Women's stuff, federated on the public fediverse who's posts get aggregated to the public all feed and which is accessed by a diverse set of software solutions that may or may not force the community rules to be visible before viewing post content?

                    I try not to engage cause I know about the community, but golly, I can't imagine how a man might stumble upon that and interact.

                    beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                    beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #43

                    I saw a post, added a relevant wiki link, and then my comment was deleted, and that's fair enough as I didn't read the rules beforehand.

                    To reduce the constant barrage of mansplaining 🙂 I suggest adding a sticky top level comment (or something better), or some sort of filter before a comment is added if possible.

                    U 1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                      im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                      the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                      what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #44

                      What's wrong with you? Are you OK hun?

                      E 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • K [email protected]

                        TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?

                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #45

                        Please present yourself to JK Rowling's TERF Inspection Booth /s

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                          im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                          the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                          N This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #46

                          Mod notice: semi-controversial but serious question has been raised about an actual issue. Keep it civil and stay classy.

                          If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or at least be tastefully funny about it.

                          EDIT:

                          A 1 Reply Last reply
                          7
                          • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                            im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                            the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                            what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                            C This user is from outside of this forum
                            C This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #47

                            They're looking for a way to feel persecuted, probably.

                            S 1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                              im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                              the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                              what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by [email protected]
                              #48

                              "The rules are clearly presented"

                              WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.

                              Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.

                              facedeer@fedia.ioF therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zoneT 2 Replies Last reply
                              11
                              • B [email protected]

                                Mandatory penis inspection, obviously.

                                beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                                beigeagenda@lemmy.caB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #49

                                They use the UK way, where you film your private parts and then they can decide where you fit in.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Z [email protected]

                                  Honestly the varied mobile platforms don't always present the channel/groups rules in advance. Especially if one is just browsing trending topics. There can potentially be no way for some users to be informed enough before they see a topic they want to interact with.

                                  Best solution I found for similar issue is polite advisement of the rules via dm or other preferred method and helping them learn and have better internet etiquette.

                                  Calling folks out publicly can get alot of negative associations with it as well which might end with you group on the wrong end of a troll.

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #50

                                  It’s very often right in the title, AND the description, yet filled with men's comments.

                                  F 1 Reply Last reply
                                  3
                                  • beigeagenda@lemmy.caB [email protected]

                                    I saw a post, added a relevant wiki link, and then my comment was deleted, and that's fair enough as I didn't read the rules beforehand.

                                    To reduce the constant barrage of mansplaining 🙂 I suggest adding a sticky top level comment (or something better), or some sort of filter before a comment is added if possible.

                                    U This user is from outside of this forum
                                    U This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #51

                                    Or set the public instance to public discussion about women's stuff and set up a private instance with a women's only application process that is advertised on the public instance.

                                    There's value in women's only spaces, and there's value in spaces for fathers, husbands, brothers, boyfriends, and sons to ask about women's stuff. By arranging the communities as described they can keep discoverability, exclusivity, AND can stop getting forbidden comments from the public on their public forum.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    3
                                    • B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #52

                                      This I disagree with, as it’s an open community.

                                      It’s read only to men.

                                      But don’t post, yes. Period. That part is pretty simple.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • A This user is from outside of this forum
                                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #53

                                        I kinda feel like you are intentionally missing the point of the feedback you are getting and pretending like any pushback you get is related to your one specific grievance despite people being pretty clear about what they are saying.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        2
                                        • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.comO [email protected]

                                          im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.

                                          the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.

                                          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #54

                                          These comments…

                                          what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

                                          +1

                                          Community rules are community rules, and you can either follow them or get banned from the community. How is ‘women only’ any different?

                                          As for the excuse of visibility: the rule is very often in the title, and the initial post, yet not followed.

                                          As for the excuse of how they can tell: well if they can’t, okay, you evaded detection. But posts very often declare “I’m a guy and this is my take…”

                                          I honestly don’t get it, especially on an internet “refuge” like Lemmy where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.

                                          rivalarrival@lemmy.todayR E 2 Replies Last reply
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