do you think freewill truly exists?
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Asking someone you love "How was your day?" is a meaningful question. Small talk is bullshit time wasting between randos or acquaintances.
"Lovely weather today, isn't it?"
"Yeah, makes me feel like picnics,"
is expressing feelings to each other, affirming a shared worldview in which sunny weather is good, and affirming the value of each others' feelings and potential plans.
Just because the real meaning is hidden, doesn't negate the value.
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So, you just HAVE to talk?
Do you hate silence?
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after you get through all the asking each other stuff to get to know each other's histories etc phase, it's okay to just not talk all the time
It's not just histories and facts, though. Sure, you don't have to talk all the time, but sharing feelings and connection, in a relaxing way, through small talk, helps maintain and build that connection. More important for some people than others.
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Anyone down for a sustained meaningful relationship? I'd really like to discuss whether happy meal toys count as gambling
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how do people who like small talk plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships what are you gonna do "hi honey nice weather we're having huh?"
my plan is to be too busy kissing my partner at all times to say anything
How Shakespearian. "Stop his mouth with a kiss."
"And another kiss."
"Keep going! More kisses, least he open his mouth and opine on the weather."
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Spouse and I ponder the mysteries of life and the universe while we’re cuddling.
Sounds pretty good
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But that would be great! Let's start an awesome exploration of a very existential topic. Certainly better and more interesting that talking about shopping.
Well, but if the other person did some shopping, do you care how it went? They might.
"How was the shopping?"
"Ugh, this idiot cut me off in the aisles so many times, I feel so frustrated."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Like, does his existence even matter? Perhaps he's a figment of our collective imagination. It's so maddening to think your own brain is creating fictions that cut you off in the aisle."
"I know, right? It made me wonder what if I'm the figment in his imagination! It's such a depressing thought. I need a hug."
*hug*
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Not spelled like that, no.
Hey, that's racist. Freewill's ancestors were enslaved and abused for generations, now they're free so his parents, William and Wilhimina, named him Freewill to celebrate his freedom!
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I mean
You can hate small talk with strangers and co workers but still enjoy small talk with your partner"How's the weather, Bob?"
"Please! My wife asks me that in the bedroom! Not you, here, at the water cooler."
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I do exactly this ! Hi honey how was your day ? Kids were restless ? Ok. Does that affect your stance on education through play ? is punishment sometimes advisable ? you haven't read your copy of Foucault's Discipl.... hey where are you going ?... baby ??
"I'll be right back, I forgot my stack of research notes in the kitchen! Do you need citations?"
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That's actually kinda crazy to me because those "tedious conversations" are usually the highlight of my dad. It's a nice lil bit of human connection while I slog through the corporate machine
It really is different for different people! I think it also depends on how much taking you've already done: I've heard a number of people express that they run out of... talkiness? I've felt that myself. If I've done a lot of talking, I'm more likely to want to just rest, or even interact, wordlessly; at other times I cherish small talk and catch-ups.
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Meaningful.
The clue is in meaningful.
Ah, but meaning comes on many layers, some of which are hidden.
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No. Last I knew, PET (?) scans appear to indicate that decisions are reached by your unconscious mind before they're made by your conscious mind; the implication is that what you believe is you making a choice is actually you rationalizing a choice that's been made through processes that you can't directly see or affect. IF that's correct, then people are quite deterministic, as long as you know all of the inputs.
But on a practical, day-to-day basis, calling it 'free will' is a convenient fiction or shorthand. While free will may not exist, we largely believe that it does, and our perception of that in turn shapes our perception of reality. So it ends up not really mattering, strictly speaking.
I can definitely take a 'decision' that's arrived from the subconscious, analyse it consciously, and accept, modify or reject it. I'm aware many people don't do that so much. So I think the results of those scans might be just a small part of the picture of what's going on with consciousness and will.
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I guess I see small talk as gateway questions to deeper conversations. I met me wife by asking about the weather.
"Hi there! Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it?"
"Yes, perfect for marrying..."
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Shit got real in the shit post sub.
Between neurological relationship building, and predetermination, there's much to talk about!
Also, how's the weather in your area today? It's sunny with quite a wind here; had a spot of rain earlier.
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I absolutely love questions like this! My wife absolutely hates them. She often gets irritated when people ask questions about what you think.
Like when our therapist asked her "How do you think your actions contribute to your own unhappiness?"
"How do you feel about being to blame for your problems and relationship difficulties?"
"Um... >:-("
"See, you never like it when I ask about your feelings!"
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Indeed I can confirm.
Just a few days ago I pondered the life of plants and asked my wife how she thinks the death of a plant is defined if for animals (including humans of course) it's mostly the heartbeat.
So when is a plant dead?
When you see its little planty soul waft up to heaven.
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Why the fuck does everyone want to be in sustained meaningful relationships?
Because they're wonderful! And because you love someone.
Yeah, they can also go horribly wrong. I think that's true of just about everything good - the more good it is, the worse it hurts when it goes wrong. But get it right, and it's amazing.
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My partner and I both understand that free will doesn't exist but it's better for everyone if we pretend it does. And yes, a lot of our conversations are a bit like that.
Too bad you don't have the free will to change that
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I know that free will doesn't exist and I wouldn't choose to have it any other way
Too bad. I chose for free will to exist, and I'm happy with my decision.
