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Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

    I never understood how someone with a six week old managed to find time to boink. But I guess some folks are just very horny.

    samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
    samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #78

    Indeed. Never underestimate humans' desire to fuck.

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    • L [email protected]

      So wouldn't that mean that child birth is less painful? Because pain receptors and memory are also evolutionary traits?

      kuma@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
      kuma@lemmy.worldK This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #79

      Isn't that the same with any pain? I mean I can't remember how much it hurt when I broke bones or got hit but I remember it hurt a lot. You do get something out of the birth that is worth the pain (big assumptions everyone feels that way) you do not get anything out of being kicked in the nuts or anywhere else (unless it is a kink).

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      • S [email protected]

        J This user is from outside of this forum
        J This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote on last edited by
        #80

        I don't know how this is relevant but I upvote anyway

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        • F [email protected]

          The woman who birthed my child didn't remember anything of the actual process, the pain is so bad the brain just kinda blocks it out after the fact apparently. I've read this is fairly common. One thing I do remember is how bad my hand hurt after all that squeezing, I needed like a whole two ibuprofen to fix it, talk about killer.

          E This user is from outside of this forum
          E This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote on last edited by
          #81

          I believe it's a hormone thing because otherwise nobody would have a second kid. Apparently the hormones kick in and make you forget the pain while also giving you a big hit of dopamine so that you connect having a kid to being happy.

          K 1 Reply Last reply
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          • L [email protected]

            Maybe between you and your mom /s

            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote on last edited by
            #82

            Angry upvote

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            • U [email protected]
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              A This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote on last edited by
              #83

              that's because they asked to get kicked in the nuts by saying shit like "getting kicked in the nuts is more painful then giving birth"

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              • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

                I guess maybe we got lucky, then.

                I do know some kids have real legit physical issues (colic being a big one). And if you don't figure out how to mitigate their distress quickly, they simply learn to scream when they want to communicate.

                But when I hear "some kids are just assholes", I tend to see some underlying problem (possibly something you just can't do anything about at this stage, but it exists) that they're responding to. It's not standard baby behavior to make parents miserable.

                P This user is from outside of this forum
                P This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote on last edited by
                #84

                I think it's easy to dismiss the possibility of this kid existing. I am absolutely not a perfect parent but this kid is literally an asshole. Still love her though.

                My wife and I think we are mild abuse victims from this kid. We confirmed it's hereditary with my MIL. My wife as a child was the same monster this kid is. If you listen to her scream she just purposely eggs herself on. She broke our nanny and almost a dozen daycare people. I always say she has like 3 toddlers worth of personality that she is trying to figure out and only recently she is starting to sort it out.

                We tried everything related to colic and nothing changed her. Gripe water with fenel seed sort of worked. Omg im just remembering, hiccups 100% of the time after feedings. She almost never ate more than a ounce of formula. My wife had mastitis which killed milk production. Kid was so noise sensitive that I couldn't close a car door outside the house while she was napping. She needed a pacifier to sleep but would purposely spit it out. She whale tailed for almost a year. Naps were more stressfull than awake time because she needed to sleep 1.5 hours or she would screem constantly during awake time. We think she also had measles at one point, the hospital didn't do anything about it even after confirming what it likely was.

                Kid broke my brain to the point where I understand where PURPLE crying is needed. My memory and anxiety are only recently recovering.

                O 1 Reply Last reply
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                • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

                  I guess maybe we got lucky, then.

                  I do know some kids have real legit physical issues (colic being a big one). And if you don't figure out how to mitigate their distress quickly, they simply learn to scream when they want to communicate.

                  But when I hear "some kids are just assholes", I tend to see some underlying problem (possibly something you just can't do anything about at this stage, but it exists) that they're responding to. It's not standard baby behavior to make parents miserable.

                  absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA This user is from outside of this forum
                  absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #85

                  You sound like my brother after his first, who was a saint of a child.....the second however.....great kid but "not a sleeper" as they say.

                  None of my kids slept through until they were 3....10 years of broken sleep

                  P 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • U [email protected]
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                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    R This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote on last edited by
                    #86

                    Funny how often childbirth is brought up to describe how much more painful something else is, usually by people who have never given births themselves.

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                    • U [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      E This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                      #87

                      This person has never been to a fucking kink party then have they?

                      S P R obi@sopuli.xyzO 4 Replies Last reply
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                      • absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA [email protected]

                        You sound like my brother after his first, who was a saint of a child.....the second however.....great kid but "not a sleeper" as they say.

                        None of my kids slept through until they were 3....10 years of broken sleep

                        P This user is from outside of this forum
                        P This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                        #88

                        This is the one thing my kids did well. First one slept through the night day one. Second took about a year to stay asleep once she was asleep.

                        And I'm gonna be a hypocrite here. Sleep is a learned behavior which needs to be constantly reinforced. I know parents with super easy kids who never set boundaries around sleep time which caused their kids to be difficult sleepers. Don't ever allow them to get up after bed time and you'll suffer a lot less. Our super difficult second kid learned we will only come into the room for short periods to meet her needs during bedtime. We started setting timers of a few minutes to let her learn that we aren't coming in immediately when she started crying. Saved our sanity and slowly taught her to self sooth. I know it doesn't work for all kids. But IMO a lot of parents will try to solve issues without the assumption their children can't learn to tolerate mild inconvenience. It's a huge cultural issue in the US.

                        absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • W [email protected]

                          women's brains literally give them amnesia regarding the pain of childbirth, so they want another because they aren't traumatized and don't really remember the negative side because it'd be evolutionarily disadvantagous to be averse to procreating

                          getting kicked in the nuts has so such evolutionary pressure, so male brains don't help out when it happens lol

                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                          H This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote on last edited by
                          #89

                          Just entertaining the thought here -getting kicked in the nuts might be even more evolutionarily disadvantageous, which could help explain the absolutely ridiculous sensitivity. Then again, I'm not a biologist

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                          • P [email protected]

                            This is the one thing my kids did well. First one slept through the night day one. Second took about a year to stay asleep once she was asleep.

                            And I'm gonna be a hypocrite here. Sleep is a learned behavior which needs to be constantly reinforced. I know parents with super easy kids who never set boundaries around sleep time which caused their kids to be difficult sleepers. Don't ever allow them to get up after bed time and you'll suffer a lot less. Our super difficult second kid learned we will only come into the room for short periods to meet her needs during bedtime. We started setting timers of a few minutes to let her learn that we aren't coming in immediately when she started crying. Saved our sanity and slowly taught her to self sooth. I know it doesn't work for all kids. But IMO a lot of parents will try to solve issues without the assumption their children can't learn to tolerate mild inconvenience. It's a huge cultural issue in the US.

                            absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA This user is from outside of this forum
                            absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #90

                            We tried a lot of techniques....

                            Rigid schedules, no schedules , big feeds, lots of little feeds...nothing seemed to work. For one kid, he wouldn't sleep unless he was next to one of us; one of the others wanted to be in the same room but not the same bed....

                            But once they hit ~3 it was like a switch flipped, and now they all sleep with no issues.

                            P 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • absgeeknz@lemmy.nzA [email protected]

                              We tried a lot of techniques....

                              Rigid schedules, no schedules , big feeds, lots of little feeds...nothing seemed to work. For one kid, he wouldn't sleep unless he was next to one of us; one of the others wanted to be in the same room but not the same bed....

                              But once they hit ~3 it was like a switch flipped, and now they all sleep with no issues.

                              P This user is from outside of this forum
                              P This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #91

                              Good parenting my dude. I kept telling myself that repeating the same failing routines was insanity, so I ran experiments on her. Some kids are just soooo difficult.

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                              • E [email protected]

                                This person has never been to a fucking kink party then have they?

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #92

                                CBT has entered the chat

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                                • E [email protected]

                                  This person has never been to a fucking kink party then have they?

                                  P This user is from outside of this forum
                                  P This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #93

                                  I’ve seen a video of a guy putting his nuts between 2 glass plates held together but 4 screws, 1 in each corner. The women proceeded to tighten the screws with a ratchet until the guys nuts were basically blue and he had to tap out.

                                  Don’t ask me why I watched the whole thing.

                                  N 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU [email protected]

                                    I do think that in a truly just world, anyone who preaches Quiverful child baring should be kicked in the nuts at least once for every child they claim they want to have.

                                    machinist@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    machinist@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #94

                                    Fucking Quiverfull. Eugenics bad, but I really hate those fucks.

                                    Hell, line em up, tell them to grab ankles, and I'll take care of it with a pair of pruning shears.

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                                    • N [email protected]

                                      I don't gain anything from being kicked in the nuts

                                      F This user is from outside of this forum
                                      F This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #95

                                      If you film it, you gain followers

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                                      • U [email protected]
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                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #96

                                        Kidney stones > kicked in the nuts.

                                        I have heard kidney stones is more in the vein of child birthing.

                                        I mean now when we all talk about things we really don't know much stuff about.

                                        S 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • V [email protected]

                                          Kidney stones > kicked in the nuts.

                                          I have heard kidney stones is more in the vein of child birthing.

                                          I mean now when we all talk about things we really don't know much stuff about.

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #97

                                          If you've never had a kidney stone — imagine that lingering post testicle injury pain. The one where your insides hurt in a way that doesn't even make sense (it does actually, but that is a separate tale) and you almost want to throw up. Or maybe you actually do. Good. Now imagine cranking the dial up on that feeling until it hits the same blinding intensity of the pain in your testicles during the moment of the injury. Now that you have the picture of the degree in your head, stretch that feeling from the minutes to maybe hours of a really nasty ball shot to the days and even weeks it can take to pass a kidney stone.

                                          (Worst guided meditation ever)

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