talking to my dad about depression
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Narrator:
"You never actually get used to it."I have become
Comfortably numb
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Just like the opposite of addiction is not sobriety but connection, so the opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality.
Because that is what most depression saps out of people - the vitality to do things, to live life, and to give your own life meaning and the strength to forge ahead.
Sometimes people can handle depression on their own. Most of the time, however, help of some sort of help or assistance is needed. Never be afraid or let yourself be shamed for reaching out or accepting help, because we all need help once in a while. As the Good Captain once said, “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”
And while uncultivated ignorance can still be educated away, beware cultivated ignorance -- these people are maliciously ignorant, and are intentionally trying to hurt you.
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This comes from the introduction to "Walden, or, Life in the Woods", in which the author gets fed up with modern (1840s) society and fucks off to the woods of Massachusetts for a little over 2 years. During this time he attempted to be fully self-reliant, building his residence from the ground up and eating only what he could hunt or gather. It is emblematic of the American transcendentalism movement, which emphasized connection with nature, self-reliance, and intuitive knowledge of truth. It was, in essence, the Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance of its day, if you're aware of that book.
I read it in high school and I did not think much of it at that time. I think, perhaps, it would find more fertile ground in my thoughts now, were I to revisit it. Certainly in the decades since first reading it, I've become more sympathetic to the idea of pissing off to the woods and minding my own business until I expire.
Man, you and I have seriously different takes on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I'm fully on board with self reliance and DIY, but that guy was constantly insufferable to his family and friends just to try to make the point
I was reading it and it just annoyed me so I moved over to the audiobook as I often do if I feel I have a bad take on a read, it just made it worse
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Imagine wanting to be alive. Hilarious
Damn, that was horrible.
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what about ex-4chan?
You mean cured gays? They're the best kind of gays
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This is the drawer where I keep my various lengths of wire, and this is the compartment where I keep my crippling depression, fears, and anxiety. For the fucking love of satan don't open that up, I try to forget it exists. The last time I opened it up, it nearly ate me.
No, I'm fine, why do you ask?
wrote last edited by [email protected]At least the crippling depression isn't mixed up with the wire. A functional organisation system isn't a substitute for a will to live, but an inability to find the right tools would certainly not help
Edit: I am also extremely fine, and I am wishing us both all the best on that front; I hope that some day, you are able to be better than fine.
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During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I've stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.
Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn't prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I've probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.
Sometimes we're depressed and don't even know it. You come to accept that it's just how you feel, and that's your life. You don't even know it can be better, until it is.
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I wish I had a family, maybe life would be worth living.
You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.
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Where are you doing service?
I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you mean by "service", English is not my native language. I'm not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
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I hate to be the old dude in these conversations — but yeah… sometimes you just fucking deal. 90% of my life is depression, suicidal ideation, and intrusive thoughts. Ten percent is that I’m the life of the party, the fun guy at work. Honestly, in meetings, when it’s been dark, execs turn to me and say, “Wow, silver lining?”
And I deliver.
So… I don’t complain. I raise a family. I exercise. I see depression as the norm. Why would I think anything else if it is all I have ever known?
And yet of course there are the brief moments of satisfaction when I am doing service for others — which is how I see my work, which makes my life meaningful.
Cure for depression? Ain’t one. But there is service, which is the cure for meaninglessness.
You can get meds for this. If you're on them and this is where you're at, I'm sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. "Nope, but can I stay on?"
"Why?"
"Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn't normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away."
She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.
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You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.
Yea maybe I should try that
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During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I've stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.
Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn't prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I've probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.
Sometimes we're depressed and don't even know it. You come to accept that it's just how you feel, and that's your life. You don't even know it can be better, until it is.
Congrats on sticking to it. Getting out of that rut.
Ive been a horrific introvert through most of my 20s. Met someone with similar interests, for once, and now it doesn't feel like such a chore. Gone to do more in 6 months than in 20 years.
Humans can get use to anything and call it normal.
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I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you mean by "service", English is not my native language. I'm not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
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Yeah, that's not depression, that's just normal.
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At least the crippling depression isn't mixed up with the wire. A functional organisation system isn't a substitute for a will to live, but an inability to find the right tools would certainly not help
Edit: I am also extremely fine, and I am wishing us both all the best on that front; I hope that some day, you are able to be better than fine.
Shut the drawer and carry on, it's a super power.
How do you operate so well in a crisis? I've been in crisis mode for 37 years, take the best path and move forward.
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Man, you and I have seriously different takes on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I'm fully on board with self reliance and DIY, but that guy was constantly insufferable to his family and friends just to try to make the point
I was reading it and it just annoyed me so I moved over to the audiobook as I often do if I feel I have a bad take on a read, it just made it worse
Could very well be. Similarly to Walden, I read it for school, and did not much care for it. One of the few concrete points I remember being discussed was a comparison between a character that rides a rickety old bike, but knows how to keep it running, and the character who rides a new bike, but relies on mechanics when things do inevitably break on it. That sort of rumination on a man who can fix things being happier than a man who can't is basically the entire premise of Walden.
Furthermore, in refreshing my memory of what subjects Prisig touched upon, I see/vaguely remember his attempts to reconcile rational empiricism with intuitive understanding, which is also very Thoreau.
However, as I've said, I didn't particularly enjoy my brush with either text, and it's been 15+ years since I last looked through either. So, it's entirely possible that they are actually philosophical polar opposites and my C- in Philosophy 101 was well earned.
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Could very well be. Similarly to Walden, I read it for school, and did not much care for it. One of the few concrete points I remember being discussed was a comparison between a character that rides a rickety old bike, but knows how to keep it running, and the character who rides a new bike, but relies on mechanics when things do inevitably break on it. That sort of rumination on a man who can fix things being happier than a man who can't is basically the entire premise of Walden.
Furthermore, in refreshing my memory of what subjects Prisig touched upon, I see/vaguely remember his attempts to reconcile rational empiricism with intuitive understanding, which is also very Thoreau.
However, as I've said, I didn't particularly enjoy my brush with either text, and it's been 15+ years since I last looked through either. So, it's entirely possible that they are actually philosophical polar opposites and my C- in Philosophy 101 was well earned.
I didn't doubt that's where Prisig was going with it. He just made the character so uninviting, conceited, and self centered that the message itself seemed to get lost. It felt like I was watching a movie where I hated the main character.
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I didn't doubt that's where Prisig was going with it. He just made the character so uninviting, conceited, and self centered that the message itself seemed to get lost. It felt like I was watching a movie where I hated the main character.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yes, I also really struggled with his writing style. It felt like he was layering in additional degrees of obfuscation by creating meta-characters and framing his philosophical points in the form of fictionalized conversations from this road trip he took. Like, bud, you're already talking about abstracted concepts like Platonic Good. Do we REALLY need more abstraction?
To which Prisig, author of the most (financially) successful book on philosophy in America, would say, "Evidently, yes."
At least Thoreau came by his difficult to parse writing style honestly, being a product of the 19th century and all.
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By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining
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During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I've stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.
Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn't prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I've probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.
Sometimes we're depressed and don't even know it. You come to accept that it's just how you feel, and that's your life. You don't even know it can be better, until it is.
I took my adhd assessment and was diagnosed with the trifecta, adhd, anxiety and depression. I knew I was a bit below neutral but I didn't think it was a problem because I was still able to be happy given the right situation. I'm now medicated for adhd and I wish I had looked into it earlier in life, I felt the warm and fuzzies when hugging my son the other day... that's when I realized it had been years since I had felt it, not every day is great but I have more good days than I used to.
