talking to my dad about depression
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Where are you doing service?
I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you mean by "service", English is not my native language. I'm not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
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I hate to be the old dude in these conversations — but yeah… sometimes you just fucking deal. 90% of my life is depression, suicidal ideation, and intrusive thoughts. Ten percent is that I’m the life of the party, the fun guy at work. Honestly, in meetings, when it’s been dark, execs turn to me and say, “Wow, silver lining?”
And I deliver.
So… I don’t complain. I raise a family. I exercise. I see depression as the norm. Why would I think anything else if it is all I have ever known?
And yet of course there are the brief moments of satisfaction when I am doing service for others — which is how I see my work, which makes my life meaningful.
Cure for depression? Ain’t one. But there is service, which is the cure for meaninglessness.
You can get meds for this. If you're on them and this is where you're at, I'm sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. "Nope, but can I stay on?"
"Why?"
"Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn't normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away."
She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.
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You can make a family with friends and neighbors and helping out some organizations/volunteers doing things you care about. As you surround yourself with folks who share your interests, the family aspect takes shape.
Yea maybe I should try that
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During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I've stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.
Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn't prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I've probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.
Sometimes we're depressed and don't even know it. You come to accept that it's just how you feel, and that's your life. You don't even know it can be better, until it is.
Congrats on sticking to it. Getting out of that rut.
Ive been a horrific introvert through most of my 20s. Met someone with similar interests, for once, and now it doesn't feel like such a chore. Gone to do more in 6 months than in 20 years.
Humans can get use to anything and call it normal.
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I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you mean by "service", English is not my native language. I'm not in the army or religiously celibate, I was just given a pretty bad hand of card by life. Too dumb to find a good job, too ugly to find a wife.
By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
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Yeah, that's not depression, that's just normal.
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At least the crippling depression isn't mixed up with the wire. A functional organisation system isn't a substitute for a will to live, but an inability to find the right tools would certainly not help
Edit: I am also extremely fine, and I am wishing us both all the best on that front; I hope that some day, you are able to be better than fine.
Shut the drawer and carry on, it's a super power.
How do you operate so well in a crisis? I've been in crisis mode for 37 years, take the best path and move forward.
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Man, you and I have seriously different takes on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
I'm fully on board with self reliance and DIY, but that guy was constantly insufferable to his family and friends just to try to make the point
I was reading it and it just annoyed me so I moved over to the audiobook as I often do if I feel I have a bad take on a read, it just made it worse
Could very well be. Similarly to Walden, I read it for school, and did not much care for it. One of the few concrete points I remember being discussed was a comparison between a character that rides a rickety old bike, but knows how to keep it running, and the character who rides a new bike, but relies on mechanics when things do inevitably break on it. That sort of rumination on a man who can fix things being happier than a man who can't is basically the entire premise of Walden.
Furthermore, in refreshing my memory of what subjects Prisig touched upon, I see/vaguely remember his attempts to reconcile rational empiricism with intuitive understanding, which is also very Thoreau.
However, as I've said, I didn't particularly enjoy my brush with either text, and it's been 15+ years since I last looked through either. So, it's entirely possible that they are actually philosophical polar opposites and my C- in Philosophy 101 was well earned.
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Could very well be. Similarly to Walden, I read it for school, and did not much care for it. One of the few concrete points I remember being discussed was a comparison between a character that rides a rickety old bike, but knows how to keep it running, and the character who rides a new bike, but relies on mechanics when things do inevitably break on it. That sort of rumination on a man who can fix things being happier than a man who can't is basically the entire premise of Walden.
Furthermore, in refreshing my memory of what subjects Prisig touched upon, I see/vaguely remember his attempts to reconcile rational empiricism with intuitive understanding, which is also very Thoreau.
However, as I've said, I didn't particularly enjoy my brush with either text, and it's been 15+ years since I last looked through either. So, it's entirely possible that they are actually philosophical polar opposites and my C- in Philosophy 101 was well earned.
I didn't doubt that's where Prisig was going with it. He just made the character so uninviting, conceited, and self centered that the message itself seemed to get lost. It felt like I was watching a movie where I hated the main character.
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I didn't doubt that's where Prisig was going with it. He just made the character so uninviting, conceited, and self centered that the message itself seemed to get lost. It felt like I was watching a movie where I hated the main character.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yes, I also really struggled with his writing style. It felt like he was layering in additional degrees of obfuscation by creating meta-characters and framing his philosophical points in the form of fictionalized conversations from this road trip he took. Like, bud, you're already talking about abstracted concepts like Platonic Good. Do we REALLY need more abstraction?
To which Prisig, author of the most (financially) successful book on philosophy in America, would say, "Evidently, yes."
At least Thoreau came by his difficult to parse writing style honestly, being a product of the 19th century and all.
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By “service” they probably mean something closer to “community service”: volunteering to help out your community and the people in need around you. Many people find it quite fulfilling.
Oh, I see. Thank you for explaining
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During the pandemic quarantine, I took up the guitar, but unlike most Covid hobbies, I've stuck with it, and gotten pretty good.
Getting good at something difficult results in great feelings, as you can imagine, but I wasn't prepared for how much better it made me feel. My self-esteem and confidence went through the roof, and made me realize that I've probably been operating under a low-grade depression for my entire life.
Sometimes we're depressed and don't even know it. You come to accept that it's just how you feel, and that's your life. You don't even know it can be better, until it is.
I took my adhd assessment and was diagnosed with the trifecta, adhd, anxiety and depression. I knew I was a bit below neutral but I didn't think it was a problem because I was still able to be happy given the right situation. I'm now medicated for adhd and I wish I had looked into it earlier in life, I felt the warm and fuzzies when hugging my son the other day... that's when I realized it had been years since I had felt it, not every day is great but I have more good days than I used to.
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You can get meds for this. If you're on them and this is where you're at, I'm sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. "Nope, but can I stay on?"
"Why?"
"Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn't normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away."
She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.
Hmm… yeah, you can tell I’m skeptical of the chemical solutions.
I’m of an age where tracking my own hormonal changes is hard enough without adding any variables. But I appreciate your thoughtful recommendation. And I’m absolutely delighted you know longer deal with the whole sudden impulse to fall in front of a bus. I’ve never jumped but the thought comes… it’s comfortable now I guess. I don’t know who I’d be without it.
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I think it's highly likely genetic in this example.
Can depression be genetic?
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Can depression be genetic?
Yes, a large number of studies show precisely that.
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Yes, a large number of studies show precisely that.
Huh, TIL.
Should probably get some therapy soon then - had a bunch of uncles top themselves.
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As an inpatient Psych nurse yeah the previous generations are, as a whole, wildly mentally ill, you just either made do or got locked up somewhere or other, and possibly also got beat, asphyxiated, or otherwise abused / neglected to death. This whole thing where we care about whether or not people with profound mental illness die is fairly new and yet somehow also rapidly fading. Not looking forward to what the Medicaid cuts are about to do to the modern mental health system. I'm just praying that it damages the insurance companies (in my state they get a cut of the funds for each Medicaid recipient by "being responsible" for "managing care") but I'm not optimistic.
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You can get meds for this. If you're on them and this is where you're at, I'm sorry. But I was like you. I could function.
Then I needed meds for something else, and they stuck me on Wellbutrin, which can be perscribed to address depression or my other issue.
I came back to the doc and she asked if it had helped with my other problem. "Nope, but can I stay on?"
"Why?"
"Uh, turns out wanting to be hit by a bus isn't normal, and I had just assumed it was, and had no idea I was dealing with that constant mental hellhole until it went away."
She let me stay on the Wellbutrin.
Second the recommendation for Wellbutrin. I didn't trust chemical solutions either but it actually is great.
