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  3. What strict parents actually teach

What strict parents actually teach

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  • C [email protected]
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    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
    underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote on last edited by
    #17

    I mean, I know plenty of kids who learned this without strict parents. School staff, daycare workers, business managers, cops... anyone in authority looking to impose rules also taught these lessons.

    You'd think nobody on this sub has ever shoplifted before, ffs.

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • thebat@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

      Ahh

      Self-censoring is cringe

      S This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote on last edited by
      #18

      I enjoy using slang. Sue me.

      thebat@lemmy.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
      5
      • S [email protected]

        I enjoy using slang. Sue me.

        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
        thebat@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote on last edited by
        #19

        Ok, Susan.

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        • C [email protected]
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          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
          #20

          This one hits a little too close to home...

          Also, the word you're looking for might be "abusive" rather than "strict".

          T agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA 2 Replies Last reply
          56
          • A [email protected]

            Depends on what you mean by "strict". I think the meme is about the parents who get angry over little things but don't actually pay attention to their kids much - the ones who just assume that their kids would not dare to misbehave. However when I was in high school, I also saw plenty of kids (often immigrants) who had successfully been taught to work pretty much non-stop. I think their parents watched them (or at least their grades) closely enough that they couldn't have gotten away with anything. It seemed to work well - they got straight A's, never got in trouble, and went to prestigious universities. I can't think of a single one I knew who burned out or rebelled (while in high school - I don't know what happened to them afterwards). However, the ones I got to meet were already filtered, with the low- and medium-achievers not admitted to that school.

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            wrote on last edited by
            #21

            No, it is about the ones that keep an eye on their kids at all time.

            The kids are unable to do anything unless they find way to circumvent all that bigbrothering.

            And if they need to lie constantly, they will gain experience in it.

            A 1 Reply Last reply
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            • C [email protected]
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              wrote on last edited by
              #22

              As the other person said, it really depends on what people mean by "strict".

              My parents were "strict" in that they enforced a bed time. Now I have better than average sleeping habits. So that worked out.

              But I've also read about "strict" parents that, like, take doors off their kids rooms, or read the kids private messages, or other nightmares

              C S 2 Replies Last reply
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              • C [email protected]
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                wrote on last edited by
                #23

                looks like strict parents are the way to fit into the corporate world 😛

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                • thebat@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

                  Ahh

                  Self-censoring is cringe

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote on last edited by
                  #24

                  Every time I read it, I just see it like the momentary pauses that President Obama made in his speeches. Makes it a little more interesting.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • J [email protected]

                    As the other person said, it really depends on what people mean by "strict".

                    My parents were "strict" in that they enforced a bed time. Now I have better than average sleeping habits. So that worked out.

                    But I've also read about "strict" parents that, like, take doors off their kids rooms, or read the kids private messages, or other nightmares

                    C This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                    #25

                    Yeah, my parents made us leave our cell phones on the kitchen counter so they could read our texts every night, and they installed software on our computers that took screenshots every 5 seconds.

                    I wonder why I have issues with authority figures and privacy?

                    Z H D 3 Replies Last reply
                    20
                    • C [email protected]
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                      wrote on last edited by
                      #26

                      Thanks to them I'm master spy now.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • H [email protected]

                        No, it is about the ones that keep an eye on their kids at all time.

                        The kids are unable to do anything unless they find way to circumvent all that bigbrothering.

                        And if they need to lie constantly, they will gain experience in it.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote on last edited by
                        #27

                        It's fairly straightforward to give a child no opportunity to lie about the things important to the parents, if the parents put in the effort. They can watch the kid come home right after school and sit in the living room doing homework all evening, and the school will tell them his grades and whether or not he's behaving well.

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                          wrote on last edited by
                          #28

                          Anecdotal observation from college: Lots of people got hammered on a weekend, at least sometimes, but the people who couldn't draw a line and keep it from destroying their grades were mostly the ones whose parents kept them rigidly controlled at home. It seemed like those folks had no practice in drawing their own lines because their parents always drew the lines for them, so when they were on their own they went nuts. The preacher's daughter is a cliche with a lot of truth.

                          hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zoneH Q 2 Replies Last reply
                          11
                          • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comO [email protected]

                            Fight/Flight/Freeze (though, some even add Fawn to that)

                            regedit@feddit.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote on last edited by
                            #29

                            Aww, fawn! 🥹

                            otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comO 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • C [email protected]
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                              wrote on last edited by
                              #30

                              strict ≠ abusive

                              zoomboingding@lemmy.worldZ M 2 Replies Last reply
                              29
                              • C [email protected]
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                                wrote on last edited by
                                #31

                                I try to be a mix of equal parts strict, fair, informative, and supportive, in any order.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • A [email protected]

                                  Depends on what you mean by "strict". I think the meme is about the parents who get angry over little things but don't actually pay attention to their kids much - the ones who just assume that their kids would not dare to misbehave. However when I was in high school, I also saw plenty of kids (often immigrants) who had successfully been taught to work pretty much non-stop. I think their parents watched them (or at least their grades) closely enough that they couldn't have gotten away with anything. It seemed to work well - they got straight A's, never got in trouble, and went to prestigious universities. I can't think of a single one I knew who burned out or rebelled (while in high school - I don't know what happened to them afterwards). However, the ones I got to meet were already filtered, with the low- and medium-achievers not admitted to that school.

                                  track_shovel@slrpnk.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  track_shovel@slrpnk.netT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #32

                                  Strict for strict's sake is bullshit. Holding your kids accountable for their actions, enforcing boundaries, and channeling their energy into productive ventures might be considered strict, but that's good parenting in my book.

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                                  • C [email protected]
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                                    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                    #33

                                    My parents were strict about things that didn't matter. They taught swear words and being gay was bad but never taught me anything about surviving life or making money or managing hobbies or anything having to do with self growth or independence.

                                    They limited my ability to grow. Along with society at the time and then blamed me when for it when I became an adult and was socially dysfunctional.

                                    It's weird... If you're not teaching your kids no one really is. They'll end up learning from entertainment or people taking advantage of them. But still people have kids like it's a set it and forget it process and then blame the kid/person for not knowing x thing.

                                    W dakralter@thelemmy.clubD 2 Replies Last reply
                                    33
                                    • spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                                      office work skills

                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #34

                                      Sounds like a good stand up comedy bit

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                                      • regedit@feddit.onlineR [email protected]

                                        Aww, fawn! 🥹

                                        otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comO This user is from outside of this forum
                                        otter@lemmy.dbzer0.comO This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #35

                                        Yeah, as a survivor of related experiences, finding out the latter two'd been recently added to this alliterative device was, frankly, a coldly epiphanous experience. 😅🤓

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                                        • C [email protected]
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                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #36

                                          All extremely useful skills in work life.

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