Do you have any rules you try to follow when engaging with others online?
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Ted Lasso rule: Be curious, not judgemental. I try to give people the chance to explain themselves. I assume good faith. Even if I'm pretty sure I'm right, I allow for the possibility that I'm not or that I'm missing some relevant information.
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I wince when I hear people talk about putting everything on signal. It's like, you know if your using Google keyboard on Android, Apple devices, servers to transfer the data, and many others are listening in.
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Applies to emails, texts, pretty much any form of communication. Wait 20 minutes minimum before hitting send.
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The main rule I try to adhere to:
If I think someone who responded to my comment did not read the whole thing, I should not reply.
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Stupid question: Can I tag people here?
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Lemmy itself doesn't support user tags, but some of the clients like voyager, do.
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Cool thanks! I use Voyager and can’t find it
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To add on to this, there's no such thing as an alt account. You will eventually let something slip that will lead back to your main or to you. It's not plausible, but it is possible and I act accordingly.
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Same goes for people actively misreading your content in the worst possible way obviously just to start some shit.
This has been a plague on reddit.
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I only downvote when something is blatantly factually false or posted in bad faith (i.e. obviously trolling and I can't think of a good-faith reason why someone would post this).
If I merely disagree with something, I write an answer explaining why, or if there already is one that I agree with, I upvote that.
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I only comment when I feel I am adding something to the conversation that nobody else has added. On many contentious topics, nearly everything that can be said has already been said by someone, so I usually don't comment on them.
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Don't talk about politics or religion if you don't want to argue since most places are low trust and what you say will be taken in the worst possible way. Lurk for atleast 3 months before posting to get the vibe of the place. The report button exists. Don't feed the trolls.(see the troll song for why) If you don't fit in don't try, no one is going to defend your world view even if its normal IRL. Bare in mind that anything said online can't hurt you if you properly separate them for the IRL you. (E.g. repeating usernames, same email, ect will ID you.). ALL CAPS IS SHOUTING. Don't post AI generated stuff unless its upfrontly tagged. Most things aren't that deep and will be forgotten in 7 days.
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I disagree
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Do not entertain an argument of any kind. We're no longer in a realm where people can be reasoned or rationalized. People mostly just want you to be wrong and will break you down in trying to make you feel wrong. Block the moment someone starts swinging back at you.
If you see someone out in the open giving someone else a hard time, you can bet that they'll do it to you so block them also.
Never go too open with someone beyond your comfort level. People online can be notorious for abusing sensitive information for ammo, personal gain or to do with as they see fit.
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I try to be patient.
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You should read False Witnesses, it explains a phenomena you're touching on here. People normally don't actually care if what they believe is true, they want to feel virtuous and license themselves to believe the unbelievable in order to do so. I think you'll find the essay interesting.
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Spot-on with how and why to engage and when to drop.
