Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?
-
no perfect fix
And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn't fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn't matter.
We all want to believe that these rooms actually follow geometry with things like parallel/perpendicular walls.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I love owning a home but fuck it’s expensive. Learn how to do stuff yourself is the best advice I can give you.
I have saved so much money being able to troubleshoot and repair simple things like hvac, electrical, plumbing, woodworking, etc. YouTube is amazing for learning this stuff. A good example: I recently had to replace two hvac condenser fans that would have likely cost me a $1000 a pop to fix. It’s bad enough the motors themselves were $300 a pop. Plumbing is easy if you have the right tools (pex is awesome). Electrical can be pretty easy if you’re willing to learn (I was a computer engineer in college and a system architect by trade so I get the electrical stuff). Learn how to patch holes in drywall. You’d be surprised how much you’ll be doing that. Learn how to replace a faucet. Learn how to replace the inwards of a toilet.
The great thing about a fixer upper is you can afford to make mistakes. Take your time, don’t rush it. Make little improvements all the time. It all adds up.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
-
Practice triage: start with small, achievable projects that can be done on a weekend. Don't get overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself. Not every problem is immediate or needs fixing.
-
If you have access to a local tools library, avail yourself of it fully. The staff are a treasure-trove of wisdom and knowledge. If not, talk to the oldest, crotchiest person at your local bardware store.
-
There are so many single-use tools out there (favorite one is so you can unscrew the faucet bolt under a sink). If not, see if there's a community online board and post a request.
-
Vintage appliances, windows, doors, etc are cool. A little elbow grease and they're in good shape. Junkyards and recycling centers are a treasure trove.
-
If it involves anything hazardous or too heavy (gas, electricity, foundation), bite the bullet and seek professional help.
-
Ants and cracks are small-fry. Baits and fillers are easy fixes. Focus on big ticket items. And remember, some things are best left alone (see triage, above).
-
-
This right here. Every running water noise your ears perk up thinking that it's the worst. Then you realise it's just the dishwasher.
Did you hear that? I feel like the toilet flushed funny
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Paying more for good quality tools to fix things properly can seem like a luxury initially, but they're worth it when you're 10 years down the line and still able to use the same set as if they were brand new.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
It gets boring to worry. Now I just view it as a cosy box that I'll occasionally have to patch up. Also, getting comfortable with DIY, especially that first scary 'dive in' moment where you have to cut the wire, drill the wall, or pull up the board. Over time it all just gets as normal and run of the mill as cracking an egg for an omelette.
-
I just fixed the dishwasher that is original to the house. I've never used a dishwasher before(ty technology connections). my god is it loud and keeps giving me a heat attack even a week after using it, but I can't argue with clean dishes.
You certainly can argue with them. It's only a problem if they start to argue back.
-
I pulled the hydrometer out of my cigar humidor to became more aware of the dampness of my basement. I also spent over $1,000 on evicting a family of raccoons out from under my backyard deck. So yeah, I get it HAH
Did you have to hire a lawyer to serve them papers?
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Find the little things that are easy to fix. Recently I had two sections of my laminated flooring that started to peel. I got some low profile transaction strips and set them up. Worked out that the area to repair the actual divide between my living room and dining room so it looks like it was supposed to be there.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.
Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.
-
Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....
It is, but OP’s is a little worse because they got a fixer-upper. If you’re buying new (or newer), you should have less anxiety given you get a proper inspection done before closing. You’ll still have to learn doing maintenance and repairs of course, as there will always be something that will come up.
-
Try to only tackle one project at a time. It gets exponentially more stressful trying to juggle a bunch of incomplete projects. Also, you'll never be "done". That's not the point. The point is shelter and comfort.
This is probably some of the best advice here. It's important to prioritize what is going to the most costly if you don't fix it now, and if you try to do 7 things at once, you will feel like none of them will ever be done, which contributes to your stress more than still having 6 broken things after fixing one.
-
Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....
Yes, but you get used to it. It's a typical feeling for the first few years if it's your first house.
Learn to repair things properly and that will reduce a ton of stress. You will also learn what things can be put off and what needs to be done immediately.
Over the years, I have learned how to do just about every kind of home repair or update. Its been rewarding, actually.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something.
Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it's easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don't worry about it.
If it comes back? Get it fixed.Writing shit down helps. I've got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It's shitty how long it is, but because it's written down it's already half taken care of and I don't have that random stress of 'oh good that's right there's a leaky shower' and having to remember to do that thing.
List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it's worth it.
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
When you hear a loud noise just think to yourself "Please be haunted and not something expensive..." it's what I do.
-
For some of the other posts I see here, in case you have these problems in the future. These aren't in order of importance.
-
Powdered ant killer that comes in the tube is better than those little ant traps. Don't waste your money on traps.
-
I had a groundhog living under some cement steps in the backyard. Tried all sorts of things to evict him, but didn't want to kill or hurt him. Tried repellents, moth balls, pepper powder, etc. Tried filling in the hole repeatedly. eventually I got pissed and started dumping the cat box in the den. I only had to do it once.
-
If you're paranoid about burglars, neighbors, etc. get some motion sensing lights for outside. And the cheapest home security cameras you can get. I started with some very cheap Blink wifi cameras (battery powered, about $100 for 4 on Woot!) years ago. Upgraded last year to mains powered Blink LED lights and cameras. Then when I went on vacation for a couple weeks, I pulled the battery cameras out of the drawer and set them up strategically inside the house. Blink charges a monthly subscription now (I grandfathered in before they charged), so plan accordingly.
-
know where all the shutoffs are, and how to use them. Power, Water, Natural gas, etc. And DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.
-
Smoke alarms, get them. at least one for every level, PLUS one in every bedroom. Get the connected alarms that set off the entire house when one goes off. CO detectors too, if you have appliances that burn stuff.
And DON’T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.
Or, ya know, be competent at it. I've swapped out a gas water heater, gas range, and gas clothes dryer, all of which have been in service for years now, and haven't blown up yet.
-
-
Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Oh, the stress? I remind myself that renters in my area are now paying twice what my mortgage is, and I bought just three years ago. It's a quick boost, and believe me, I've got at least a dozen fixes myself to do that I don't have the energy or money for.
If that's not enough, take a few weekends to at least hit what you can. Make a list and tackle things slowly as to not get overwhelmed. One by one, step by step.
For example, I used a week break to paint the kids room and it feels like a brand new home, even patching cracks and dealing with water damaged ceiling drywall (was minor, and the roofing was already fixed before I moved in). The rest of the house needs it, but it still made me feel like I did something.
-
The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.
Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.
Good example.
In a similar vein: setup alarms. Smoke detectors is an easy one, but also water leakage detectors. If feeling adventurous, maybe logging of water/power usage as well to catch slow leaks.
-
no perfect fix
And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn't fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn't matter.
I’ve just been making a wardrobe in an alcove where in the space of 1200mm they have managed to be out by 40mm (1.5 inches in 4ft for our American folks)
Trying to be within 1-2mm and deciding on referencing a side wall that’s curved but making the room “more square”, and having a variable depth wardrobe or making something that looks right but that I know is a parallelogram.
Either way a future guy with a tape measure will ask “what idiot built this?” -
Paying more for good quality tools to fix things properly can seem like a luxury initially, but they're worth it when you're 10 years down the line and still able to use the same set as if they were brand new.
Idk. I now recommend getting cheap tools first until they either break( from usage) or their bad quality is a noticeable and active hindrance. From there buy better quality.
I also suggest buying ALL the tools you need. Sometimes, you think you can make it work with some alternatives and don't want to get the specialized tool. I feel that I usually end up spending more time dealing with the problem and getting more stressed out.Example of the latter: dealing with my drum breaks with just pliers. Uninstalling was a breeze, but installing was a huge pain. The cheapest specialty tools made my life so much better, and used them several times. I notice their janky, but they still work good enough to get the job done.
