Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Not The Onion
  3. New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Not The Onion
nottheonion
75 Posts 64 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • S [email protected]

    Poop jokes and big tech's data hunger aside, this seems to me one of the more useful applications of AI: Checking for early signs of medical problems.

    L This user is from outside of this forum
    L This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #20

    .........Uranus.

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHJCTJDYHVDHV!!!!

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • W [email protected]

      Analysis …

      You should eat more fiber. You wipe too hard but somehow also not enough? You sat 23.64 minutes longer than required, you’re at risk for a hemorrhoid. You have a 22.5% chance of acquiring cancer.

      There’s protein in the specimen. I caught a glimpse of the images displayed on your phone. Disregard previous assessment, why did you acquire me when you already provide such thorough analysis?

      You have 4 more Throne(tm) iCUPs remaining. Ordering more for you now. Rent is due on the 5th and you no longer have the funds available to pay. Stop killing kittens and go get a third job.

      This analysis concluded, brought to you by Bridgefjord smoked beef jerky.

      L This user is from outside of this forum
      L This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #21

      Ok.......but, why is this guy killing kittens??? I'm rooting for the cancer.

      e0qdk@reddthat.comE 1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • leckiesock@lemmy.worldL [email protected]

        Analyzing the meat from taco Tuesday’s.

        L This user is from outside of this forum
        L This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #22

        No. Don't.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • C [email protected]

          Can't believe they're making the smart pipe a reality https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #23

          AI toilet is a registered sex offender

          1 Reply Last reply
          5
          • P This user is from outside of this forum
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #24

            I have Crohns. This would help monitor disease activity for sure. And having more data could help understand triggers better.

            1 Reply Last reply
            4
            • L [email protected]

              Ok.......but, why is this guy killing kittens??? I'm rooting for the cancer.

              e0qdk@reddthat.comE This user is from outside of this forum
              e0qdk@reddthat.comE This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #25

              Ancient internet meme

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • S [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                bcgm3@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                bcgm3@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #26

                The job AI deserves, to be sure.

                1 Reply Last reply
                3
                • S [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                  #27

                  Oh no. I'm not having an AI camera send someone pictures of my poop.

                  I already get in enough trouble doing this with my own camera.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  4
                  • S [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    treadful@lemmy.zipT This user is from outside of this forum
                    treadful@lemmy.zipT This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #28

                    Doing QA for this company must be the most unusual job.

                    N 1 Reply Last reply
                    6
                    • H [email protected]

                      Q This user is from outside of this forum
                      Q This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #29

                      Not just the big dookers. The green globbers and the brown bombers, too

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • S [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #30

                        Finally, an AI for scat fetishists. Just what the world needed.

                        internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • S [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                          #31

                          We're definitely living in the pooture

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          3
                          • M [email protected]

                            Finally, an AI for scat fetishists. Just what the world needed.

                            internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                            internetcitizen2@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #32

                            Only 6.98 DOGE per month too!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • S [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              M This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #33

                              Now these are the AI headlines I dreamed of so many years ago

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              6
                              • S [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                M This user is from outside of this forum
                                M This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #34

                                I know a guy that'll do this for free!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • treadful@lemmy.zipT [email protected]

                                  Doing QA for this company must be the most unusual job.

                                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                                  N This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #35

                                  “So, Greg, what do you do for work?”

                                  “Uhhhh…. I’m the control group for AI toilets.”

                                  thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgT 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • ininewcrow@lemmy.caI [email protected]

                                    Isn't that what Reddit does already?

                                    obstreperouscanadian@lemmy.caO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    obstreperouscanadian@lemmy.caO This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #36

                                    This doesn't require a poop knife.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • R [email protected]

                                      Drink more water and eat more fiber. That's it.

                                      I This user is from outside of this forum
                                      I This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #37

                                      Wait, are you the AI?

                                      R 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #38

                                        what happens if you put a load of your own fresh spoog on each and every fresh experience?

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • N [email protected]

                                          “So, Greg, what do you do for work?”

                                          “Uhhhh…. I’m the control group for AI toilets.”

                                          thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgT This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                                          #39

                                          "but it's not all bad. They pay me to sit on the shitter a couple times a day and I only blacked out ... once? twice! "

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups