IT jobs explained with a broken lightbulb
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Full stack developer:
The lightbulb is broken. Deploys a lightweight fix that involves 17 metric tons of chandeliers, stadium floodlights, sconces, and the necessary infrastructure to operate the street lights for a city of 500.000. His solution delivers a solid 100 lm of light using only 175 MW of power.
why they are like that
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found in my archives
honestly huge respect to ops
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why they are like that
Because JavaScript and its complete absence of a standard library is a horrible abomination that should've been put out of our misery years ago.
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Because JavaScript and its complete absence of a standard library is a horrible abomination that should've been put out of our misery years ago.
I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.
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I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.
Imagine you went through the pain of learning it to make a web front end. You want to make back end things too, but they all require knowing different languages. You're not learning another language, learning this one was hard enough! Easier to keep using the same horrible language for everything, of course.
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I have a feeling AI won't take my role, AI will force me to take ownership of more products. I worry greatly about that.
Yes, this is greatly to be feared:-). But at least you will have a job, other than "factory worker" like everyone else seems to be geared into becoming (either that or soilent green / food - I wish I were joking, though possibly the person in charge who put forth that idea was joking at least? I mean... unless we are into it? No? Okay we can wait on that one...).
You will just have to manage all of the products that the company can force upon you, while they do the "real" work - of golfing, ofc!
Also I now realize that my above messages were slightly incorrect - they were for the "Project Manager" role, which is distinct from your role as "Product Owner", and then "Product Manager" is a whole other thing... I guess, but I have no idea what the latter is supposed to do, really.
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found in my archives
Psychologist tries to help lightbulb understand why it is broken and how to fix itself.
Lightbulb refuses to respond to therapy, gives the silent treatment.
Psy goes home without success, falls into severe depression due to fear of never experiencing light again.
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found in my archives
Today I broke a colleague's app, because I repurposed an unused app registration on azure, or at least I thought it was unused. I thought that would be faster than asking the admins for a new registration on a Friday afternoon. But I forgot that I had used that registration for my colleague 's application.
So when he came complaining that it didn't work, I just told him he had done something wrong and that he should just restart his computer.
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I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.
Wait, writing backends with JS make you fullstack?
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found in my archives
Overall I'd say pretty accurate.
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found in my archives
wrote on last edited by [email protected]SRE:
- Receives a slack message that lighbulb is broken
- Realizes that they never got an alert when the light went out
- Fixes their monitoring thresholds
- Routes all broken lightbulb alerts to a slack channel nobody reads
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Psychologist tries to help lightbulb understand why it is broken and how to fix itself.
Lightbulb refuses to respond to therapy, gives the silent treatment.
Psy goes home without success, falls into severe depression due to fear of never experiencing light again.
...and begins to dance gangnam style
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found in my archives
Moths: we’ll see ourselves out, there’s
greener pasturesbrighter lightbulbs out there. -
honestly huge respect to ops
The ops guy drew up multiple plans for a redundant light source and plans to train staff on light bulb replacement protocols, but was overruled by management who found this to be too costly. Maybe next year tho.
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Support would be like
User reports lightbulb is broken.
Tries to talk user through troubleshooting.
Problem resolved by turning on light.I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!
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The ops guy drew up multiple plans for a redundant light source and plans to train staff on light bulb replacement protocols, but was overruled by management who found this to be too costly. Maybe next year tho.
I know so many ops people who are practically functional alcoholics and I'm not surprised at all
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I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!
I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution.
And when they do report the problem, they should report the actual problem they had and not what they think the problem is.
So instead of eg. "my computer's been hacked!", it's actually "I saw a scary error dialog I didn't understand"
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Woah there buddy, you can't just jump straight into the (non-)solution like that! You skipped the planning refinement! And the planning pre-refinement! And the pre-planning pre-refinement! And we'll still discuss all of this in the post-planning refinement!
(Yes, every one of these are real, distinct meetings, lasting at minimum one hour but sometimes two or more. EVERY WEEK. Kill me now please? 🥺)
Fuck me am I glad I'm out of the corporate world
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Fuck me am I glad I'm out of the corporate world
I keep trying to escape, but I do need a paycheck so... [rolls up sleeves] back into the fray I go, once more!
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[clicks light switch off and on repeatedly]
Welp, I guess we’re closed for the week.
That's the end user.
