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  3. Anon does some online shopping

Anon does some online shopping

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  • S [email protected]

    Open browser

    Browser demands updates

    All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.

    Close ten tabs you didn’t open

    Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.

    Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.

    Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.

    Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.

    Back button doesn't work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.

    Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.

    Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.

    Add to cart. You are not logged in.

    Log in.

    CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.

    2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.

    Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”

    Yes. It crashes.

    Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.

    Give up and use your phone

    4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.

    App store ad appears for the site you’re already on

    Clicking "x" opens the ad anyway.

    You close the phone browser

    Go outside

    Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”

    spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
    spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #8

    This should be etched into gold as a perfect description of life in 2025.

    1 Reply Last reply
    54
    • G [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      G This user is from outside of this forum
      G This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #9

      UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.

      C samskara@sh.itjust.worksS underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU 3 Replies Last reply
      15
      • Q [email protected]

        You obviously also need an account for everything. This requirement is only communicated at checkout.

        R This user is from outside of this forum
        R This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #10

        i always look for the 'guest' checkout option. some merchants have it, and i'll choose them over somewhere like azn if the price is reasonably close.

        T 1 Reply Last reply
        21
        • G [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          G This user is from outside of this forum
          G This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #11

          It used to be that the ads, viruses and tracking were on the web pages, but now we are so blessed that they are built into our browsers and operating systems! Talk about optimization!

          B 1 Reply Last reply
          7
          • G [email protected]

            UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.

            C This user is from outside of this forum
            C This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #12

            I suppose they never specified it was supposed to be a good user experience?

            1 Reply Last reply
            12
            • S [email protected]

              Open browser

              Browser demands updates

              All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.

              Close ten tabs you didn’t open

              Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.

              Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.

              Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.

              Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.

              Back button doesn't work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.

              Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.

              Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.

              Add to cart. You are not logged in.

              Log in.

              CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.

              2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.

              Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”

              Yes. It crashes.

              Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.

              Give up and use your phone

              4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.

              App store ad appears for the site you’re already on

              Clicking "x" opens the ad anyway.

              You close the phone browser

              Go outside

              Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”

              P This user is from outside of this forum
              P This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #13

              You missed scroll hijacking because reinventing how things move on the screen is important for some reason?

              icastfist@programming.devI 1 Reply Last reply
              29
              • diplomjodler3@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                And don't even get me started on payment.

                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #14

                Based Brazil has pix: select payment method, scan qr code with your bank app, pay.

                1 Reply Last reply
                13
                • G [email protected]

                  UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.

                  samskara@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                  samskara@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #15

                  The X stands for eXploitation.

                  M 1 Reply Last reply
                  9
                  • G [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    H This user is from outside of this forum
                    H This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #16

                    Yeah, idk. 2005 internet sucked in a lot of ways too. Nostalgia doing a lot of work here

                    capuccino@lemmy.worldC M icastfist@programming.devI 3 Replies Last reply
                    19
                    • G [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #17

                      OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?

                      reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.comR sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.comS H 3 Replies Last reply
                      3
                      • G [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #18

                        Hitting myself with the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind machine

                        Websites in 2005 never had annoying popups and obnoxious JavaScript and a thousand bad design decisions that made using them terrible.

                        Everything was so easy back then and you could always trust your anonymous Internet retail vendor to do exactly what you paid them for.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • G [email protected]

                          UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.

                          underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                          underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #19

                          Our target audience is people with cognitive disabilities who still have access to a credit card.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          8
                          • A [email protected]

                            OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?

                            reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                            reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #20

                            Consent-O-Matic should make the cookie popups less of a problem at least.

                            skullgrid@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                            4
                            • reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.comR [email protected]

                              Consent-O-Matic should make the cookie popups less of a problem at least.

                              skullgrid@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              skullgrid@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #21

                              Oh man that sounds so great

                              Click link
                              Already installed

                              🗿Feels chad man.

                              H 1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • G [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                M This user is from outside of this forum
                                M This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #22

                                In 2005 they would have just taken your data without asking.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • G [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  cruxifux@feddit.nlC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #23

                                  Remember YouTube before ads? Seriously profit motive and infinite growth ruins everything. I want to play Luigi’s mansion every time google asks me to switch to an app or sign in when I google something. Like fuck off.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • G [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    green_copper@kbin.earthG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    green_copper@kbin.earthG This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #24

                                    The second last point is the most enraging to me. Either show me a loading overlay or don't move the items a single pixel!

                                    B 1 Reply Last reply
                                    3
                                    • A [email protected]

                                      Honestly like 2/3 of this is handled by the right Firefox plugins but that JavaScript Shuffle bullshit drives me INSANE

                                      MY PHONE IS AN HTML ONLY ZONE

                                      decipher_jeanne@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      decipher_jeanne@lemmy.blahaj.zoneD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #25

                                      Yeah.... I tried that for a while. You don't go very far on modern internet with JS disabled

                                      E 1 Reply Last reply
                                      19
                                      • G [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                        #26

                                        Use Librewolf + Ublock origin with cookie popups filter turned on and medium mode on when needed.

                                        V samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS D 3 Replies Last reply
                                        13
                                        • A [email protected]

                                          OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?

                                          sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #27

                                          There's a cookie popup blocker in the filter lists by default. You can just enable it and it will dissapear 90% of cookie popups

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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