Anon does some online shopping
-
Open browser
Browser demands updates
All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.
Close ten tabs you didn’t open
Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.
Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.
Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.
Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.
Back button doesn't work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.
Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.
Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.
Add to cart. You are not logged in.
Log in.
CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.
2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.
Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”
Yes. It crashes.
Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.
Give up and use your phone
4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.
App store ad appears for the site you’re already on
Clicking "x" opens the ad anyway.
You close the phone browser
Go outside
Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”
You missed scroll hijacking because reinventing how things move on the screen is important for some reason?
-
And don't even get me started on payment.
Based Brazil has pix: select payment method, scan qr code with your bank app, pay.
-
UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.
The X stands for eXploitation.
-
This post did not contain any content.
Yeah, idk. 2005 internet sucked in a lot of ways too. Nostalgia doing a lot of work here
-
This post did not contain any content.
OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?
-
This post did not contain any content.
Hitting myself with the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind machine
Websites in 2005 never had annoying popups and obnoxious JavaScript and a thousand bad design decisions that made using them terrible.
Everything was so easy back then and you could always trust your anonymous Internet retail vendor to do exactly what you paid them for.
-
UX my ass. These “improvements” only hinder the user.
Our target audience is people with cognitive disabilities who still have access to a credit card.
-
OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?
Consent-O-Matic should make the cookie popups less of a problem at least.
-
Consent-O-Matic should make the cookie popups less of a problem at least.
Oh man that sounds so great
Click link
Already installed
Feels chad man. -
This post did not contain any content.
In 2005 they would have just taken your data without asking.
-
This post did not contain any content.
Remember YouTube before ads? Seriously profit motive and infinite growth ruins everything. I want to play Luigi’s mansion every time google asks me to switch to an app or sign in when I google something. Like fuck off.
-
This post did not contain any content.
The second last point is the most enraging to me. Either show me a loading overlay or don't move the items a single pixel!
-
Honestly like 2/3 of this is handled by the right Firefox plugins but that JavaScript Shuffle bullshit drives me INSANE
MY PHONE IS AN HTML ONLY ZONE
Yeah.... I tried that for a while. You don't go very far on modern internet with JS disabled
-
This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
Use Librewolf + Ublock origin with cookie popups filter turned on and medium mode on when needed.
-
OK. Someone please drop a comment to this post telling me how to make all the "sign in to Google" and "Allow Essential Cookie" popups to go away. uBlock filter list?
There's a cookie popup blocker in the filter lists by default. You can just enable it and it will dissapear 90% of cookie popups
-
This post did not contain any content.
This is 100% accurate.
-
Use Librewolf + Ublock origin with cookie popups filter turned on and medium mode on when needed.
Yeah, Librewolf is kinda the best web browser. I still need to use Firefox for some things that just have to be invasive, like I think my bank needs the browser to be a little less locked down, but man I love just browsing the web and only seeing what I want to see.
-
Yeah, idk. 2005 internet sucked in a lot of ways too. Nostalgia doing a lot of work here
I can't see me doing shopping online in 2005
-
Open browser
Browser demands updates
All extensions update simultaneously. Each opens its own tab to proudly announce bug fixes for bugs you never noticed.
Close ten tabs you didn’t open
Miss one. It autoplays a video ad.
Type in search bar. Autocomplete offers suggestions that are 5 years old, NSFW, or both.
Search for a product. Top results: Ads. Sidebar: Ads. Bottom: Ads. An actual organic result is wedged between an ad and a newsletter signup modal.
Click real-looking result. Redirected to a shady dropshipper site.
Back button doesn't work. It reloads the same scam page five times. You lose the original tab somewhere in a pile of redirects.
Click Amazon link. It’s a new seller with the business name “USB_Cable_Amazon_Partner_Official.” 13,000 reviews. All 5 stars.
Try to read reviews. Most are for the wrong product. Many are AI-generated gibberish. The rest complain about shipping.
Add to cart. You are not logged in.
Log in.
CAPTCHA challenge: Pick all the traffic lights. Traffic lights are 1 pixel wide. One is technically a lamppost. Verification failed.
2 factor authentication push. By the time you get the authenticator open, the session expired. Start over.
Try to close browser. Are you sure you want to close 37 tabs?”
Yes. It crashes.
Reopens all 37 tabs next launch.
Give up and use your phone
4 popups, fingerprint required, and every link jumps when the page loads because of delayed ad banners.
App store ad appears for the site you’re already on
Clicking "x" opens the ad anyway.
You close the phone browser
Go outside
Get a push notification: “You left items in your cart.”
One trick for the "back button doesn't work" is to right click it and select the page you want to go back to from that list.
Though I do wish back buttons worked on clicks rather than loads or anything a site can override with javascript. I hate the sites that treat scrolling to the next article as a new page. It trains me to not scroll to the next one, even if it looks interesting, because they fuck with my browser like that (even though I can work around it, fuck them for the attempt).
-
One trick for the "back button doesn't work" is to right click it and select the page you want to go back to from that list.
Though I do wish back buttons worked on clicks rather than loads or anything a site can override with javascript. I hate the sites that treat scrolling to the next article as a new page. It trains me to not scroll to the next one, even if it looks interesting, because they fuck with my browser like that (even though I can work around it, fuck them for the attempt).
The other day I found one that I'm pretty sure somehow removed the earlier entries from the back button list.
