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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • H [email protected]

    Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

    O This user is from outside of this forum
    O This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #106

    It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • A [email protected]

      ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #107

      I think "toots" has been overlooked in this comment

      1 Reply Last reply
      3
      • I [email protected]

        From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

        B This user is from outside of this forum
        B This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #108

        It's called a fromagerie, pleb

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • S [email protected]

          B This user is from outside of this forum
          B This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #109

          True love right there

          1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

            It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.

            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #110

            But why would you?

            kolanaki@pawb.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
            4
            • T [email protected]

              Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

              T This user is from outside of this forum
              T This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #111

              You're right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.

              1 Reply Last reply
              4
              • M [email protected]

                Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #112

                Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • S [email protected]

                  Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                  ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #113

                  Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                    Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #114

                    I'm in heat thanks to climate change.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • D [email protected]

                      My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #115

                      Pretty sure that's my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                        Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #116

                        I saw the reply in my inbox and had a reaction to "females" there, like "ugh, not one of THESE folks who still talk like that." Because I didn't remember the nature of this thread until I got back into the comments šŸ™‚

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • S [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                          cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #117

                          We all love some good ol' mansplainimg.

                          L 1 Reply Last reply
                          12
                          • cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC [email protected]

                            We all love some good ol' mansplainimg.

                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #118

                            I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! šŸ˜

                            S R 2 Replies Last reply
                            4
                            • B [email protected]

                              But why would you?

                              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                              kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #119

                              Road trip nachos. The cheese only melts when you get into Death Valley.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • L [email protected]

                                I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! šŸ˜

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #120

                                Vacuuming? Are you ovulating or something?

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • L [email protected]

                                  I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! šŸ˜

                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #121

                                  So you just like to suck then? šŸ˜‰

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • T [email protected]

                                    Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #122

                                    Can confirm, was stabbed.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
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