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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • I [email protected]

    If she doesn't, tell her she's acting crazy.

    M This user is from outside of this forum
    M This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #99

    Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

    ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • I [email protected]

      TIL I ovulate every Sunday šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…

      I This user is from outside of this forum
      I This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #100

      Congrats! šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰šŸŒ»

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • L [email protected]

        And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.

        A This user is from outside of this forum
        A This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #101

        ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

        B 1 Reply Last reply
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        • S [email protected]

          We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

          A This user is from outside of this forum
          A This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #102

          The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • S [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            T This user is from outside of this forum
            T This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #103

            Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

            T M 2 Replies Last reply
            22
            • S [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              G This user is from outside of this forum
              G This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #104

              I do all the vacuuming here.

              Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

              M 1 Reply Last reply
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              • G [email protected]

                I do all the vacuuming here.

                Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #105

                Username is definitely relevant. šŸ™‚

                I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.

                Have a good day.

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • H [email protected]

                  Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #106

                  It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • A [email protected]

                    ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #107

                    I think "toots" has been overlooked in this comment

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • I [email protected]

                      From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #108

                      It's called a fromagerie, pleb

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S [email protected]

                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #109

                        True love right there

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                          It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #110

                          But why would you?

                          kolanaki@pawb.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                          4
                          • T [email protected]

                            Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #111

                            You're right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M [email protected]

                              Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                              ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #112

                              Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                              M 1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • S [email protected]

                                Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

                                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #113

                                Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                S 1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                  Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #114

                                  I'm in heat thanks to climate change.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • D [email protected]

                                    My dear, your claoca looks especially receptive this fine evening.

                                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                                    B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #115

                                    Pretty sure that's my first gag-upvote. Thanks, I guess.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                      Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #116

                                      I saw the reply in my inbox and had a reaction to "females" there, like "ugh, not one of THESE folks who still talk like that." Because I didn't remember the nature of this thread until I got back into the comments šŸ™‚

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • S [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #117

                                        We all love some good ol' mansplainimg.

                                        L 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • cows_are_underrated@feddit.orgC [email protected]

                                          We all love some good ol' mansplainimg.

                                          L This user is from outside of this forum
                                          L This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #118

                                          I have a sudden urge to vacuum, and without ovaries! šŸ˜

                                          S R 2 Replies Last reply
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