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Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • kilgore_trout@feddit.itK [email protected]

    Bro, plastic cheeseโ€ฆ

    H This user is from outside of this forum
    H This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #93

    Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

    O 1 Reply Last reply
    9
    • I [email protected]

      How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?

      O This user is from outside of this forum
      O This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #94

      So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.

      I 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • O [email protected]

        So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.

        I This user is from outside of this forum
        I This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #95

        From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

        O B 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • O [email protected]

          You can't really expect consciousness from straight cis men.

          E This user is from outside of this forum
          E This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #96

          A bit of sexism, wouldn't be funny otherwise, right?

          O 1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • I [email protected]

            From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

            O This user is from outside of this forum
            O This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #97

            Wherever.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • E [email protected]

              A bit of sexism, wouldn't be funny otherwise, right?

              O This user is from outside of this forum
              O This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #98

              Yeah thats absolutely what that is. You're so good at reading.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • I [email protected]

                If she doesn't, tell her she's acting crazy.

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #99

                Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • I [email protected]

                  TIL I ovulate every Sunday ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…

                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                  I This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #100

                  Congrats! ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŒป

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • L [email protected]

                    And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.

                    A This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #101

                    ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                    B 1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • S [email protected]

                      We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                      A This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #102

                      The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • S [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #103

                        Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                        T M 2 Replies Last reply
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                        • S [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          G This user is from outside of this forum
                          G This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #104

                          I do all the vacuuming here.

                          Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                          M 1 Reply Last reply
                          5
                          • G [email protected]

                            I do all the vacuuming here.

                            Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                            M This user is from outside of this forum
                            M This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #105

                            Username is definitely relevant. ๐Ÿ™‚

                            I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.

                            Have a good day.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • H [email protected]

                              Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #106

                              It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              3
                              • A [email protected]

                                ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #107

                                I think "toots" has been overlooked in this comment

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • I [email protected]

                                  From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #108

                                  It's called a fromagerie, pleb

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • S [email protected]

                                    B This user is from outside of this forum
                                    B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #109

                                    True love right there

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                                      It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.

                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #110

                                      But why would you?

                                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                                      4
                                      • T [email protected]

                                        Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #111

                                        You're right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        4
                                        • M [email protected]

                                          Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                                          ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #112

                                          Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                                          M 1 Reply Last reply
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