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  3. Foolproof advice

Foolproof advice

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • O [email protected]

    So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.

    I This user is from outside of this forum
    I This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #95

    From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

    O B 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • O [email protected]

      You can't really expect consciousness from straight cis men.

      E This user is from outside of this forum
      E This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #96

      A bit of sexism, wouldn't be funny otherwise, right?

      O 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • I [email protected]

        From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

        O This user is from outside of this forum
        O This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #97

        Wherever.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • E [email protected]

          A bit of sexism, wouldn't be funny otherwise, right?

          O This user is from outside of this forum
          O This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #98

          Yeah thats absolutely what that is. You're so good at reading.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • I [email protected]

            If she doesn't, tell her she's acting crazy.

            M This user is from outside of this forum
            M This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #99

            Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

            ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • I [email protected]

              TIL I ovulate every Sunday šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…

              I This user is from outside of this forum
              I This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #100

              Congrats! šŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰šŸŒ»

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • L [email protected]

                And if the woman happens to overreact to the period question, just politely tell her to calm down.

                A This user is from outside of this forum
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #101

                ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                B 1 Reply Last reply
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                • S [email protected]

                  We all know that won't work. Try this instead.

                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #102

                  The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #103

                    Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                    T M 2 Replies Last reply
                    21
                    • S [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #104

                      I do all the vacuuming here.

                      Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                      M 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • G [email protected]

                        I do all the vacuuming here.

                        Considering neither me nor the wifey are fertile, I think this is easily debunked and closed, then label as "incel drivel" and thrown into the fire.

                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #105

                        Username is definitely relevant. šŸ™‚

                        I would consider your comment to be far more truthful and accurate than what is pictured in the OP.

                        Have a good day.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • H [email protected]

                          Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.

                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          O This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #106

                          It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • A [email protected]

                            ... not forgetting to add a term of endearement, such as "sweetie", "honey" or "babe".

                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #107

                            I think "toots" has been overlooked in this comment

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • I [email protected]

                              From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #108

                              It's called a fromagerie, pleb

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • S [email protected]

                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                B This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #109

                                True love right there

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

                                  It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #110

                                  But why would you?

                                  kolanaki@pawb.socialK 1 Reply Last reply
                                  3
                                  • T [email protected]

                                    Community Note: This is actually bad advice that will get you stabbed

                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #111

                                    You're right, and I find it hilarious that this needs to be noted.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    4
                                    • M [email protected]

                                      Bonus points if you instead say she is being hysterical.

                                      ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                      ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #112

                                      Some females respond better to positive reinforcement. Ask her to give you a little spin/twirl to break the tension and get her moving.

                                      M 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        Every day here and I don't even have ovaries!

                                        ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                        ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #113

                                        Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                        S 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                          Possibly like "false pregnancy" in dogs?

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #114

                                          I'm in heat thanks to climate change.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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