I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.
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Therapy might still be a good idea in the future, trauma can show up in quite unexpected forms.
I'm really glad you're doing better!
Seconding this. I thought I was fine once I made it through college without therapy. Ha! All the shit I'd just bottled up for years was still sitting there, packed nicely in its little bottle, waiting to explode.
Ended up going through a couple years worth of therapy in my late 20s / early 30s
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When I was a kid I had a hypothesis that autistic people simply lacked souls and that that explained their symptoms. (I don't think this anymore)
For what it’s worth, I got a solid laugh out of this. My partner is autistic, and I’m 100% telling them that it’s because they don’t have a soul.
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Ugh. Family history is a bummer; however, all of those are things you can mostly mitigate with early and frequent screening, and listening to doctors about lifestyle choices. Not like dementia, for which we have very few tools.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Well, before I started hormone therapy I didn't see much need for hope, but these days I'm determined to grow into a cute old fart that inspires the weird queer kids of the future and I'm taking much better care of myself.
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In the same year I put my head through a plate glass window (to a shocking lack of injury) I also attempted to lift an engine block off a cherry picker... WITH MY HEAD... to hilarious results.
Well the TBI, seizures and utter disregard of my mother to the suggestion of a neurosurgeon that I needed surgery to relieve swelling at the injury site weren't too funny. The latter is my favorite as she 'treated' me with nightmarish vegetable smoothies consisting of spinach and not much else.
I still hate spinach. And it's been 47 years.
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I realized I was trans in middle school, i said something suicidal to my friend and he told on me. I never really talked to the therapists because my mom was very homophobic. I got put on antidepressants and suppressed my feelings so hard I can hardly remember my childhood.
5 years later my depression went into "full remission" couple of months before I came out. I then 180°d and got sent to the psych ward for suicide ideation this February.The only thing that stopped me from killing myself is the realization that my cat would be rubbing against my body for pets in the ~10 hours it would take for my family to find me. I was planning to buy a knife after work but broke down in the bathroom.
Every time I have ever gotten to that point (not for at least 6 years now), it's been my pets that immediately pulled me back. When I lived alone, I left myself sticky notes in places I would see when I needed them that said things like "your pets love you unconditionally" and "you're Maya's (my dog at the time. She's died of old age at 15 since then) whole world"
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I kicked a decrepit german shepard to death.
::: spoiler WHY?!
Wasn't my fault really, the owner had trained his dog to be aggressive and I was deathly afraid of dogs. The animal escaped the leash and charged me, I don't know if it would have bitten me, but I instinctively kicked it in the face... I'm an extremely overweight guy and was scared shitless, that's propably why my leg had some serious power behind it, so I kicked that poor puppies snout straight into its braincase.Still have nightmares of that day. Good news is: I have sinced learned to be less afraid and love dogs now. I even regularly put my hand down the throat of a huge japanese Akita Inu who loves me to death and pull on his teeth in play.
:::You have an unconditional right to self defense against a dog.
And I loooooove dogs.
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just a guess, but it could be because kids are dumb and we were all kids once trying to figure out the world with no experience. And then on top of that we tend to remember the cringe moments about ourselves even though those moments were likely an after thought to those around us.
Also, just guessing, there was a crappy role model or two.
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Are you one of those 4-cones people?
Even they see it as a pinkish-purpley-red.
It's not that.
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Or simply pissed it off enough to attack. It's a gamble antagonizing any predator when you do not have the means to actually defend yourself.
Polar bears, unlike other bears, will actively prey upon humans, given the opportunity. Such an encounter is a "do everything that you can to dissuade it" sort of situation. Food is hard to come by in the North, if a polar bear gets within shotgun range, it's almost certainly going for a snack.
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I always love thinking about what wild cats could do to a person.
I think of what a five pound angry house cat can do to you ... it will roll around like a snake in your hands, dazzled in fur, spiked with razor blades. It will cut and scratch you until you bleed in 20 different places.
Now turn that cat into a 100lb animal that has daggers instead of razor blades.
EDIT: typos from fat fingers on a phone
My favorite story stems from a park ranger in Oregon (IIRC) who was giving a tour, and they were carrying a 15' (5m) long pole. As were about halfway through, they were taking about cougars, and they stopped next to a tree, and they explained that if a cougar is after you, climbing a tree is not a recommended defense; the pole was a demonstration of how high an adult cougar can jump, straight up.
Those of us with house cats were not surprised, but still. It helped put things into perspective.
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Quick clarification question. Ready to, or mentally prepared for death?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Not sure what the difference is, except one implies the other and not vice versa. I'm not planning it, it's just okay if it happens. Wouldn't say I'm mentally prepared, but I hope it's fast enough.
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A bit over a decade ago, I was motorcycle camping on a solo trip down the US West coast. Being a bit on the cheap side and preferring wilderness, I decided to make use of the Bureau of Land Management camp sites, where possible. They are free, somewhat remote and quiet (no hookups for RVs or any of that), which I really appreciate.
While heading South through Northern California, I stopped at the one near Ukiah, had a quick dinner, and went to sleep in my 2-person tent that I had been using for the trip. For some reason, I had my laptop out - maybe trying to look at some helmet cam footage. And, when I went to sleep, I was lazy and just suspended it, leaving its power LEDs slowly blinking.
I was awoken in the middle of the night by an animal rather forcefully trying to get through the side of my tent. I shouted and banged on the handle of my hatchet (hollow, glass-filled nylon, so it could be used to make rather significant noise). The animal took off, rather loudly through the brush near the camp site. My laptop, with blinking LEDs was right next to the wall of the tent where my "visitor" had been trying to gain entrance. So, I completely shutdown the laptop, ensuring that there was no blinking and failed to get any more meaningful sleep.
The next morning, once it was light out, I warily looked outside my tent to be sure that my "visitor" wasn't waiting for me. Then, surveyed the site with hatchet in hand and heavy sheath knife on my belt (Morakniv Companion - highly recommended in carbon steel as it's a great knife and still somehow cheap). All around the picnic table where I had cooked my curried lentil dinner were the large and unmistakable tracks of my large feline "visitor". Not wanting to stick around in case the mountain lion decided to come by to investigate some more, I quickly broke camp and made my way back to the road, skipping my planned breakfast for diner food.
As one can reasonably expect from this experience, I camped at the same campground on my way back North and return there to camp fairly regularly.
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I assume it's because of "hot pink" which now I type it sounds like a euphanism.
euphemism ? or is that a different word
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I went for a walk on the Hudson Bay coast of far northern Ontario once when I was a teenager and we saw a polar bear. We're Indigenous and my family has connections up there so we went to visit them many times when I was growing up.
We had seen the bear a few days before from the safety of a frieghter canoe filled with a group of hunters with high powered rifles. We were in a 24 foot canoe and the bear was a huge adult that was probably about 12 to 15 feet long on four limbs and probably 20 feet standing. We looked at each other for a while and then dad and his hunter relatives fired warning shots next to the bear. The spray of firing a high powered shot in mud and clay is like a mini explosion or a land mine going off. It scared the bear enough that it started running. The land there is completely flat and featureless and the bear was gone on the horizon as a speck in a matter of minutes. We didn't want it near our camp.
My cousin and I went for a walk later, we came across the big claw marks of the adult polar bear in the mud and clay of the seashore. The marks were huge and it looked like it was made by a small backhoe or tractor. Clean cut marks from four huge claws with each limb. We were impressed and measured them with our feet and hands and head. We said to ourselves, hey this thing could tear us apart in seconds.
It was then that we realized, we about an hour long walk back to camp, we're alone and this bear could reappear at any moment and come running or even just walk fast at us from far away in a matter of minutes. All we had were shotguns to go bird hunting and we were just 16 year old kids. And we couldn't really walk fast in the muddy clay and tundra marsh where we were.
If the bear had been anywhere near us that day ... we would have been one of those little box newspapers stories of two teens that got killed by a bear in the northern wilderness.
20 fucking feet tall ? is that possible ? forgive me but I've never seen a bear and it sounds like fantasy to me
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If I wasn't right about it I wouldn't have a flawless driving record
wrote on last edited by [email protected]...yet.
Just don't take the chance, think of others
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That shop took a lot of shortcuts on safety. I had to pull a dude out of a mill to prevent a 2" drill going into his head because he tripped into it. Never again will I standby as I put my own hands at risk for efficiency over safety.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]A while back, a friend of a friend of mine, all of us ended up together at some nerd type convention...
He'd beeen degloved.
But, miraculously, they surgeons and doctors had managed to ... put the glove back on... and while he did have problems with certain motions and sensations... his hand pretty much worked normally, and I didn't even see anything out of the ordinary wrong with his hand for hours... it just came up in conversation that that jad happened to him, and I was shocked.
Yeah I didn't see it happen, but just thinking about industrial accidents.... fucking oof.
Yeah, safety rules are written in blood, they're there for a reason.
I've got PTSD for... non industrial accident reasons, but I absolutely sympathize with having to see something that horrific first hand.
RIP to the departed.
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Slicing raw meat brings me the weirdest joy.
i just beat my meat for joy
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...yet.
Just don't take the chance, think of others
Thinking consistently of others is a large part of why my driving record is flawless, especially while driving impaired. The average US motorist is a belligerent moron, and the fact that I can drive better under the influence of powerful psychedelics than they can sober won't make the consequences of a collision any less unpleasant for me.
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I'm 99% sure I know my killer is me... eventually as my spine falls apart and suffering massively increases with time. And I'm okay with that so long as it is my choice. When people talk about suicide, I strongly believe in the saying, "no permanent solutions for temporary problems." But I strongly believe in this saying from both perspectives, aka "permanent solutions are your personal choice that I fully respect as an unalienable human right, if you choose, due to permanent problems." Anyone trying to steal such an unalienable human right from another is exceptionally ignorant of the magnitude of potential suffering and is criminally sadistic as far as I'm concerned.
Honestly I can't refute that. Thankfully, euthanisation is legal in some countries (The Netherlands & Switzerland) but many countries need to catch up to it. I'm sorry that you are going through what you are going through, and I hope that you will be able to go on your terms rather than your illness' terms
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I'm not afraid of getting caught for cheating because I'm not cheating. Unless I misread that and you did something else that you're afraid of getting caught for.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I think I see where the disconnect is. When I say getting caught I mean in general for anything that I might be doing that is otherwise inappropriate.
Not necessarily any one thing.
But I am also not currently cheating on my gf.
