Life at 40
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Urgent and "in an hour or so" - wait wat? You must be a fellow American. At least we got Freedom tho, right?
Anyway I hope it doesn't turn out to be too serious.
Totally American.
I've been put through the ringer by the American healthcare system enough already that I wait as long as possible before giving in and getting help. I've been bleeding for a few weeks. It's almost for sure an ulcer. Here's hoping they don't do what they've done in the past, which is mis-diagnose me or make me wait months to see the wrong specialist.
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Just run of the mill internal bleeding. No big deal.
As long as the blood is on the inside I'm not seeing the problem?
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I think the problem is that one side is making a statement as an absolute, and the other one is making a statement which they quantify as "most".
One single occurrence disqualifies the person claiming the absolute.
"Most" would mean more than half, which may be a big ask but we don't know their entire experience, culture, environment, and all the other factors involved.
For the record, as a very fair skinned 53yo woman with blue eyes and blonde hair, I've spent my entire adult life hiding from the sun and wearing sun screen year round (I live in the Chicago area.) I regularly get mistaken for my early-mid 30s, and if I look really close I can see some fine crows feet when I smile. I dare say 10 years ago they'd have been hard to find lol.
It's because elastin actually fades with time, use and sun exposure. The time and use parts are why smile lines, forehead wrinkles and crows feet are common. Many of us only notice our wrinkles after they are observable by others because we see our aging day to day.
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I’m in this picture. My hair went grey and I have a quad injury.
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Use it or lose it people. I’m over 40 and I’m quite fit and healthy. Do lots of walking, running, rock climbing, golf, and enjoying nature.
I’m in better health than my younger friends simply because I’m more active. See dudes in their 70’s climbing harder than me still and in great shape. You’ve just got to keep moving.
Hearing people younger than me talk about how their bodies are falling apart is surreal. I do basically the bare minimum in terms of nutrition, exercise a bit daily, and I feel basically the same as I did in my 20s. Maybe better even because I'm not underweight.
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Tbf when I was 8-9 years old I thought that 14 year olds were fully grown adults.
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I've abused my body so much with drugs and alcohol and crowd surfing at concerts and late night dance parties and raves and vaping and smoking before that (actually quit for seven years; starting again was the biggest mistake of my life) and junk food and fast food. Even now that I have a pretty healthy diet and we like to go hiking, I know how much I've taken from my future. I don't expect to live much past seventy, and maybe not even that. But then again, I was sure I wouldn't reach 25 and that came and went.
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I've abused my body so much with drugs and alcohol and crowd surfing at concerts and late night dance parties and raves and vaping and smoking before that (actually quit for seven years; starting again was the biggest mistake of my life) and junk food and fast food. Even now that I have a pretty healthy diet and we like to go hiking, I know how much I've taken from my future. I don't expect to live much past seventy, and maybe not even that. But then again, I was sure I wouldn't reach 25 and that came and went.
You sound like the type of bastard that lives to be a hundred.
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I'm about to turn 40, it's all true
Just wait until 40. It's like going down a step with your eyes closed without knowing the step is coming. Very jarring and painful.
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Yeah, the kids under ten that are in my life know how old their parents are, and can make reasonable assessments of the age of other adults from that. They would never think someone who is 40 looks more like someone who is in their 60s or 70s.
After reading the newer comments I don't know what to think. Maybe this changes based upon the country one finds one self in?
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Totally American.
I've been put through the ringer by the American healthcare system enough already that I wait as long as possible before giving in and getting help. I've been bleeding for a few weeks. It's almost for sure an ulcer. Here's hoping they don't do what they've done in the past, which is mis-diagnose me or make me wait months to see the wrong specialist.
Peptic ulcer is one of the floors of hell that has no end or exits. Got one at 22 years old; best friends still at 47. The magic words to your a primary care Dr is "request an upper endoscopy" and "referral to gastroenterologist".
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Aging sucks. I think with the tremendous computing resources presently wasted on vapid AI slop and endless fart videos, we could instead use it for anti-aging research.
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Tbf when I was 8-9 years old I thought that 14 year olds were fully grown adults.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]This but it just keeps on going.
8? 15 = adult
15? 25 = adult
25? 35 = adult
I have income, a job, a car, a place to live. I dont feel like an adult yet. -
This but it just keeps on going.
8? 15 = adult
15? 25 = adult
25? 35 = adult
I have income, a job, a car, a place to live. I dont feel like an adult yet.35? 45 = adult
over 40? I am supposed to be an adult? That doesn't sound right. -
If you have wrinkles at 40 you need to wear more sunscreen and drink more water.
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Nudist beach is a pretty good explanation.
Please don't bring reason and understanding into this, I'm trying to be irrationally judgmental over here.
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I've abused my body so much with drugs and alcohol and crowd surfing at concerts and late night dance parties and raves and vaping and smoking before that (actually quit for seven years; starting again was the biggest mistake of my life) and junk food and fast food. Even now that I have a pretty healthy diet and we like to go hiking, I know how much I've taken from my future. I don't expect to live much past seventy, and maybe not even that. But then again, I was sure I wouldn't reach 25 and that came and went.
Bro it's genetics, you'll probably be an old fuck so long you want it to end like stans grandpa.
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This but it just keeps on going.
8? 15 = adult
15? 25 = adult
25? 35 = adult
I have income, a job, a car, a place to live. I dont feel like an adult yet.You become an adult when you hear someone telling their kids to behave or "that mister" will tell them off.
You look around. There's nobody else. You have become The Mister. The stranger based punishment of exasperated mothers everywhere. You are now an adult.
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I've abused my body so much with drugs and alcohol and crowd surfing at concerts and late night dance parties and raves and vaping and smoking before that (actually quit for seven years; starting again was the biggest mistake of my life) and junk food and fast food. Even now that I have a pretty healthy diet and we like to go hiking, I know how much I've taken from my future. I don't expect to live much past seventy, and maybe not even that. But then again, I was sure I wouldn't reach 25 and that came and went.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]As someone who has a relationship with smoking, I feel like I have to say a few words:
Apart from abusing my body in ways similar to what you described, I also smoked for almost 15 years. I started out of stupidity in my twenties. I was not even in high-school, I totally averted that danger... only to step in it years later voluntarily and for stupid reasons (I coughed when trying to smoke pot so I thought I should practice, then found out the high was pretty nice and reasoned it was cheaper to smoke this than pot). Anyway, I gave up 2 years ago, but I tried many times before that. I tried cold turkey, I tried gradually, I tried lighter cigarettes, but nothing worked. The idea of never ever smoking another cigarette for as long as I lived was paralyzing. I also hated how it controlled me, and it felt like avoiding any contact with any cigarette ever was also a form of it controlling me from the other direction. So I worked something out that works for me, and maybe it will for you:
My goal was to solve the control problem more than anything. So I said I don't want a love or hate relationship with cigarettes: I want indifference. It means I don't buy cigarettes anymore, for one. This is probably the most important part, just don't smoke at home or during normal activities. The physical dependence is present in the first 3 days, after that it's just psychological, or so they say, so I took advantage of when I was down with a cold and couldn't smoke, and I kept it up after. I still had some cigarettes left and I smoked them with some friends when I was out for beers, about 2 weeks later. Whenever I felt stressed at work or whatever, I tried to just take my hand and put it on my mouth with like 2 fingers as if I was holding a cigarette and just suck thin air like it was a cigarette then blow the fictional smoke, I'd do it multiple times if needed — this gesture was calming, even if it didn't last as long as it did with the real thing, it was like halfway there. Even though this sounds like quitting, the goal was still indifference, but I was way too much in the "I need to smoke" control zone so I focused on pulling out. Throughout I didn't think of myself as anything related to smoking: I wasn't a smoker because it felt defeatist, I wasn't a non-smoker because it felt unearned, I wasn't an occasional smoker because it felt lazy — I was just trying to take the control out of my relationship with smoking and turn it into something more like "friends with benefits". I had a quit-smoking-timer app on my phone which in previous attempts I kept resetting with each cigarette I wasn't able to resist, but this time I said I'm not going to punish myself anymore: this is a new mindset and it allows for casual smoking just like you casually try some weed at a party if someone is offering and it doesn't make you addicted to weed or a weed smoker or anything like that — you're just having fun — so the app measures the time since I adopted this new mindset and new (non)relationship with smoking.
The first month was probably the only time I kept needing to repeat all of the above to myself. After that it became second nature. It was both easier and harder to do than I initially thought, but I'm confident in myself now because it's more of a fundamental identity change than a change in habits or actions: it's internal, how I see myself vis a vis smoking.
Maybe a mindset like this can help you conquer your addiction, if you're interested. I say "if you're interested" because you probably know already: you have to want it first. It can't be forced on you, it really has to come from you. If it helps, for me it came when I got mad that, after forcing myself to smoke lighter and lighter cigarettes, I learned that they're just as harmful in the long run, so I got even more mad at big tobacco for lying to me like that (apart from all the other horrible shit they've done) and that betrayal was the fuel I used as motivation. It's always the petty stuff that gets us the most, lol. Also, I really don't want to check out that soon. Non-existence is terrifying, and life is finally getting better for me. But I'm also older and need to watch my health, so I'm more open now to actively changing stuff for said health.
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Second one is spot on.
