Some Decent Linux Jokes?

[tetris11@lemmy.ml]

GPL and MIT are at a beer hall.

MIT jumps on a table. "Anyone who sits at this table, has a beer on me!" yells MIT, and is met with a roar of applause.
GPL jumps on another table. "Anyone who sits at this table, has a beer on me, but only if they share it with a friend" says GPL, and is met with a small confused smattering of applause.

As the day goes on, people start to populate the tables, drinking to their health, to their gods, and to their loved ones. The MIT table is clearly more popular, with the chicken dance in full swing as people clink their mugs, a stark contrast to the GPL table singing depressing songs like Ay Carmela and everyone topping off each others beers with their own.

Finally the day comes to an end and the High Waiter comes to take payment.
The GPL table weren't really paying attention to who owes what to who with all the beer topping, so they just count the number of people and the number of beers, and throw a pile of scrunched up coins at the waiter which he genially sorts and accepts.

The MIT table pat each other farewell, and assure the waiter that MIT himself will settle the debt. However, once the table clears, MIT is nowhere to be found in sight. As GPL goes to grab his coat from the cloakroom, he spots MIT coming back from the bathroom, unaware that the party is over.

"Hey", says GPL, "your friends have left and you need to settle your tab."

MIT looks out of the window and sees all the people he has been drinking with leaving in flashy cars, and limousines. He stares at his wallet.

"I don't get it." he says, "I gave them free beer, and this is how they repay me?"

[tetris11@lemmy.ml]

that's brilliant!

If Arch was an airline, it would support single carrier planes carrying nothing but one passenger along with a bag of rice, and landing would be an optional feature to worry about once in the air.

[yuki@programming.dev]

Not the other E that can’t?

[over_clox@lemmy.world]

Try decoding the 'savegame' format from Lord Of The Rings for Super Nintendo, from the year 1994.

It's not even a battery backup save, you gotta manually write down 48 characters, then manually re-enter those 48 characters when you want to restore a 'savegame'

Turns out it's in base 32 format, and uses the CCITT CRC16 hash algorithm to verify the data integrity.

Guess what? If you punch in 3P53P53P53P53P53P53P53P53P53P5

You start off with all the characters maxed out (prolly more maxed out than intended), and also bypasses the checksum, as it zeroes out.

Yay base 32!

Don't ask me how long that took me to figure out..

[hyphlosion@lemm.ee]

How many linux users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They’re too busy arguing over which alternative lightbulb to screw in.

[neidu3@sh.itjust.works]

"No, not that one, It's GPLv3, which is evil"
"Actually it's BSD licensed"
"Even worse!"
"OK, how about this one, it hasn't been maintained for 20 years and is still under GPLv2"
"OK, fine"

Spends several days trying to satisfy a broken dependency tree of a 20 year old light bulb

[appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

The last statement was me wrangling with XMLTV getting EPG data to import for japanese pirated rebroadcasted IPTV.
It was actually painful to configure the XML statements to scrape the data as I had to both understand how the values were derived and how I need to change them as they were regional stations.

In the end it was this syntax:
Example from their page: site_id="23##10##101040" xmltv_id="日テレ">日テレ</channel>
Actually needed was the info inside the site_id:

• 23 = Region
• 10 = Terrestrial (they seem to have different digital networks)
• 10140 = The number of the channel (same channel-name for different regions
• (unmentioned here but in another example they had an additional nimber after the 10140 which incremented by one or two without any understandable reason)

I had to get the region from the URL/source code out of the dropdown menu and find out that the type of broadcast is somewhere hidden in the html table and that there is is a small number besides each channel name dependant on the region)

[teawrecks@sopuli.xyz]

Did you know NASA uses Linux on all its spaceships? That's why there's no sound in space.

[umbrella@lemmy.ml]

me doing my 1000th hour of rdr2 like

[vinesnfluff@pawb.social]

Mfw haven't gamed on anything but Linux for 2.5 years now.

[fnrir@lemmy.world]

Obligatory "We need to rewrite the lightbulb in Rust" joke

[vinesnfluff@pawb.social]

We would also have accepted "because if you open windows in space everyone dies"

[vinesnfluff@pawb.social]

Why are Linux user's power bills more expensive in summer?

They refuse to install windows.

[omegalemmy@discuss.online]

Teach your kids the magic phrase... Sudo.

'Whats the word?"

"Please!!!"

"No! It's not! It's sudo!"

[elvith@feddit.org]

Pretty pretty sudo with —no-preserve-root on top?

[omegalemmy@discuss.online]

Are you crazy!? Are you trying to kill your parents!?

[elvith@feddit.org]

WELL, I'm not running

kill -9 $PPID

[bogasse@lemmy.ml]

Linux, Microsoft & iOS engineers have a flat tire.

• The Apple engineer : "let's replace this tire ASAP"
• The Linux engineer : "we need to understand what caused the issue first, or it might happen again"
• The Microsoft engineer : "shouldn't we just go back in the car and see if the issue solves itself?"

[tetris11@lemmy.ml]

The Apple Exec: "let's remove the tyre altogether, and sell it piecemeal back to the driver"

[electric_nan@lemmy.ml]

More like: you'll have to buy a whole new car.