Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.
Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.
Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.
Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.
Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.
Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.
But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.
But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.
You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!
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Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....
This is absolutely normal when you first buy the place. I bought my place in 2017 and was super anxious over the first year because I suddenly had basically no savings and all my equity was in this building. I didn't know anything about home repair and couldn't afford to hire someone who did.
The thought of something going wrong enough that it would ruin the place gave me an anxiety attack more than once.
Then, after a couple years and a few things needing fixed, I realized that things don't go wrong that often and most of the time if they do, they are easy to fix.
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Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....
I think it really depends on the home, get an inspection to try to see some of the problems beforehand and you won't be caught too off guard.
For me water is the biggest thing, water in the basement, water through the roof, water by the window sills, it never ends! Every expense seems to be another 5k or 20k, owning a fixer upper is an expensive endeavor
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
Try to only tackle one project at a time. It gets exponentially more stressful trying to juggle a bunch of incomplete projects. Also, you'll never be "done". That's not the point. The point is shelter and comfort.
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And the more you open up to fix the more systemic problems you find. In an old/fixer house. Try to pick one project at a time. Spend some money when u have too. Have seen some smart people locate home improvement grants for upgrades/HVAC. You'll need to spend money. No avoiding it. In a couple years you'll forget how bad it all seemed and get used to the minor annoyances you haven't gotten too. And don't forget to learn some things. Buy a bug pump sprayer and specific chemicals on line. Learn how important gutters are and getting storm water away from the foundations. Get some rugs to cover the gaps and caulk the cracks. Most importantly A good partner for the decorating to make u forget it's a shitty house no matter how much work you put in
To answer your question I just drink a lot.
Best response in the thread lol
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I understand this will sound crazy. I started running, a lot. A few half marathons per year. It's a juxtaposition of enjoying the benefits and hating the activity.
The biggest benefit is being able to handle more stress, and deal with the stress better, in general. I tell myself during the first mile (as it's the most difficult to start), "I am expanding my capacity to endurance stress and suffering" it's shifted the way I look at problems.
A recent example: I paid a contractor to build a wall to split a room, and to install new flooring on the floor. It looked nice. A year later, I encountered a problem in the bathroom that exposed a leak that's probably existed since the work was done. The bathroom is being torn apart and completely redone by me. I'm not thrilled, and was absolutely pissed at first, but it's subsided much faster than it used to. I can't afford to hire someone again, but I do have another bathroom to use during this process, so it can wait. It's shifted my perspective, and I'm seeing this now as "expanding a set of skills that can be useful again" instead of completely dreading it. Of course I prefer this didn't happen
but wishing reality is different doesn't help anything. -
I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.
Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.
Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.
Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.
Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.
Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.
But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.
But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.
You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!
no perfect fix
And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn't fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn't matter.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
If you need to hire a tradesperson, find small companies, folks who work for themselves. We're WAY cheaper than the shops are and can usually a) make time for you and b) work with you on it all. Plus, we need the money more ;D
For real though, I just bought my first home a couple years back and I get it. There's a lot I don't know still. It'll be alright, just keep an eye out for water damage. And if something starts sparking, cut the breaker off and call someone. Pretty much anything up to that point can be handled with YouTube and Harbor Freight.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
For some of the other posts I see here, in case you have these problems in the future. These aren't in order of importance.
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Powdered ant killer that comes in the tube is better than those little ant traps. Don't waste your money on traps.
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I had a groundhog living under some cement steps in the backyard. Tried all sorts of things to evict him, but didn't want to kill or hurt him. Tried repellents, moth balls, pepper powder, etc. Tried filling in the hole repeatedly. eventually I got pissed and started dumping the cat box in the den. I only had to do it once.
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If you're paranoid about burglars, neighbors, etc. get some motion sensing lights for outside. And the cheapest home security cameras you can get. I started with some very cheap Blink wifi cameras (battery powered, about $100 for 4 on Woot!) years ago. Upgraded last year to mains powered Blink LED lights and cameras. Then when I went on vacation for a couple weeks, I pulled the battery cameras out of the drawer and set them up strategically inside the house. Blink charges a monthly subscription now (I grandfathered in before they charged), so plan accordingly.
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know where all the shutoffs are, and how to use them. Power, Water, Natural gas, etc. And DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.
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Smoke alarms, get them. at least one for every level, PLUS one in every bedroom. Get the connected alarms that set off the entire house when one goes off. CO detectors too, if you have appliances that burn stuff.
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Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....
I think it depends on the property and the amount of repairs you can afford.
We budgeted .5% of the cost of the house for repairs annually - put it aside in a separate account so you can replace the roof/furnace/etc without taking a lifestyle hit.
Adjust the proportion by the age and state of the property.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
You're still better off owning a house and paying for repairs than paying rent. Even with the cost of repairs it's most likely cheaper in the long run and you're your own landlord.
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Not easy but have enough surplus to cover those things.
Also try to remember all the mortgage you're paying you'll most likely get back when you sell, unlike when you rent.
I sure wouldn't say 'all'. The first years of your mortgage you are paying the bank more in interest than you are knocking off the principal.
A $300k home with 20% down and an interest rate of 3.5% on a 25 year amortization schedule will see the buyer paying $8k in interest versus $6k towards the principal at the start. Over the course of the mortgage, the $300k home will cost $420k thanks to the $120k in interest the bank takes.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
shitty...fixer upper
You have the best kind of house! Since its market value is already low you don't have to worry about all the stupid shit people fret over when their house is too valuable.
What's leaking?
How old are the cracks? If they're old, then whatever shifted already happened and no longer matters. Just keep an eye for new ones. Like a casual eye. Don't obsess over it.
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Not really much advice other than being proactive about issues, but it is funny how concerned you quickly become with all types of water once you own a home. Rain intrusion, drainage in the yard, leaky pipes, dripping noises, frozen pipes, gutters, humidity, water heater, storms, etc, etc. It's a real menace and so are squirrels (as I also found out after purchasing a home).
This right here. Every running water noise your ears perk up thinking that it's the worst. Then you realise it's just the dishwasher.
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For some of the other posts I see here, in case you have these problems in the future. These aren't in order of importance.
-
Powdered ant killer that comes in the tube is better than those little ant traps. Don't waste your money on traps.
-
I had a groundhog living under some cement steps in the backyard. Tried all sorts of things to evict him, but didn't want to kill or hurt him. Tried repellents, moth balls, pepper powder, etc. Tried filling in the hole repeatedly. eventually I got pissed and started dumping the cat box in the den. I only had to do it once.
-
If you're paranoid about burglars, neighbors, etc. get some motion sensing lights for outside. And the cheapest home security cameras you can get. I started with some very cheap Blink wifi cameras (battery powered, about $100 for 4 on Woot!) years ago. Upgraded last year to mains powered Blink LED lights and cameras. Then when I went on vacation for a couple weeks, I pulled the battery cameras out of the drawer and set them up strategically inside the house. Blink charges a monthly subscription now (I grandfathered in before they charged), so plan accordingly.
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know where all the shutoffs are, and how to use them. Power, Water, Natural gas, etc. And DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.
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Smoke alarms, get them. at least one for every level, PLUS one in every bedroom. Get the connected alarms that set off the entire house when one goes off. CO detectors too, if you have appliances that burn stuff.
Idk what powder you’re talking about for ants, but the borax gel works amazingly well and isn’t toxic.
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I'm in the same boat. Bought a home in 2020. It's been a constant stream of fixes and updates and replacements. My mortgage payments are high enough. Now we're dumping thousands of dollars on flood prevention, evestrough replacement, random leaky pipes, furnace cleaning, deck refinishing, grass and landscaping. Wife and I both work full-time. We are dipping into savings to upkeep our home. I totally regret it. Should have bought a 2-3bed condo instead. At least we could plan for the monthly condo fees and not worry about sudden emergency fixes. I don't know. I hate it.
Even with an HOA, you can still end up needing to pay tens of thousands for surprise repairs in the forms of special assessments, especially if the HOA is poorly managed.
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This right here. Every running water noise your ears perk up thinking that it's the worst. Then you realise it's just the dishwasher.
I just fixed the dishwasher that is original to the house. I've never used a dishwasher before(ty technology connections). my god is it loud and keeps giving me a heat attack even a week after using it, but I can't argue with clean dishes.
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I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.
Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.
Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.
Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.
Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.
Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.
But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.
But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.
You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!
And if you are not 100% confident, take lots of pics as you go. And every step, do something that you figure you can undo. Worse case scenario, it goes back to how it was…
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no perfect fix
And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn't fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn't matter.
We all want to believe that these rooms actually follow geometry with things like parallel/perpendicular walls.
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Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.
I love owning a home but fuck it’s expensive. Learn how to do stuff yourself is the best advice I can give you.
I have saved so much money being able to troubleshoot and repair simple things like hvac, electrical, plumbing, woodworking, etc. YouTube is amazing for learning this stuff. A good example: I recently had to replace two hvac condenser fans that would have likely cost me a $1000 a pop to fix. It’s bad enough the motors themselves were $300 a pop. Plumbing is easy if you have the right tools (pex is awesome). Electrical can be pretty easy if you’re willing to learn (I was a computer engineer in college and a system architect by trade so I get the electrical stuff). Learn how to patch holes in drywall. You’d be surprised how much you’ll be doing that. Learn how to replace a faucet. Learn how to replace the inwards of a toilet.
The great thing about a fixer upper is you can afford to make mistakes. Take your time, don’t rush it. Make little improvements all the time. It all adds up.
