why the hell cant men stay out of women-only spaces?
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im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.
the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
For the same reason why women can't stay out of male-only spaces. Women have been demonizing male-only spaces for decades. If male-only spaces are bad, female-only spaces are bad... I see no other 'equal law for all genders' reasonable outcome
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Man here, there have been several times when I have found a thread talking about men and shitting all over all men and painting with broad strokes, claiming that we are all awful and just looking to use women.
I feel offended at indirectly being included in a group like that, and have joined in discussions in the past to try and explain that we are not all terrible people.
Over time however, I have learned to ignore the hate spewers and just move on.
Personally, if I see a community where the rules are politely explaining the situation, I just block the community out of respect for the xommunity.
Those people hate people who come in and say "not all men." They will say that it's obvious they are not talking about all men. They don't feel like they should make the disclaimer. We have the complaints about "not all men" men here in this very thread.
But what are you going to do? That's just how women are.
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im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.
the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
I apologize for the shitty behavior of other men.
That being said, how do you feel about men reading those posts on women only communities, if they don't reply, comment or vote?
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im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.
the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
Based on the comments here and in the previous similar post I have seen, the vast, vast majority of people (presumably men) highlight how this is a problem of visibility of posts in public feeds.
It's a tradeoff between having the community public for discoverability and accepting that many people will not check the rules and violate them, some inadvertently.
The alternative is to make the community private, and accept that women will need to discover a women-relates community by searching for "women", which doesn't seem incredibly unlikely.
From the sentiments I read, most people wouldn't care at all if the community was private and wouldn't have a desire to "invade" it. I definitely feel part of this group.
Considering that it's in the interest of the community (apparently) to have only women, I think it's fair to expect the (minimal) effort from future members to look for it (plus advertising it in posts etc.) on them instead of expecting the vast majority of the users (the fediverse is mostly males) to add friction and having to check the rules of every single community of every post they open (now it might be a community, more might come). Yes, community rules are important, but being realistic, if you don't behave like an asshole you don't need to worry about them in 99% of the times.
However, if this tradeoff is not deemed acceptable, I think there is no point complaining about people "invading" women spaces because it's guaranteed that many people will comment without reading the rules, as I am sure the almost totality of users does all the time. Even without counting the ones who intentionally violate the rule, there is always going to be an organic amount of people who will do so inadvertently.
At this point I think the tradeoff is so clear, that discussing the topic in such a confrontational way looks more like rage-bait than anything aimed at solving the problem.
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TIL there is women only spaces on the internet. How do you even enforce it?
Ask the UK government
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I shared my view and left the community. Was something about my comment unclear?
I didnāt see why it was a clear violation of rule 5. I was wondering why you thought it was
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im so sick of seeing reports regarding men posting in women-only communities and i cant help but get annoyed with these guys.
the rules are clearly presented. either youre not paying attention or youre just an asshole who purposefully throws their opinion in a place explicitly not wanting it.
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
It's not immediately obvious when it appears in your feed, I also don't think people expect to be excluded due to protected characteristics. I know I wouldn't have expected a community to discriminate.
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Man here, there have been several times when I have found a thread talking about men and shitting all over all men and painting with broad strokes, claiming that we are all awful and just looking to use women.
I feel offended at indirectly being included in a group like that, and have joined in discussions in the past to try and explain that we are not all terrible people.
Over time however, I have learned to ignore the hate spewers and just move on.
Personally, if I see a community where the rules are politely explaining the situation, I just block the community out of respect for the xommunity.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yeah I blocked it too, but it probably sucks for new users that are just commenting on posts they see because they are popular
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Sealioning is when someone pretends to be 'just asking questions' in good faith in an attempt to sow discord in a community.
Fuckin' hate that Kareny lickspittle bullshit. š¤
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OK, I pulled out a computer for you so I could see the rules side by side with my post because my mobile client doesn't allow it.
Rule 1: Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you canāt say something nice, donāt say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here.
OP came in swinging hot, maybe a little toxic, but there are valid points behind the hot words.
However, OP has shown that they are able to accept other viewpoints from valid arguments (https://lemmy.ca/post/48960508/18080134). So I would argue this is borderline.
I have to say, I have no idea what sealioning is though.
Rule 5: This is not a support community.
It is not a place for āhow do I?ā, type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
This isn't a "How do I". This is an open ended attempt (with some frustration) to try to under why members of the community do certain things.
That's my view anyway. What's yours?
wrote last edited by [email protected]"Cite sources of your claim, prove it, and spend ages providing material that I will dismiss as irrelevant!".
The name comes from this comic:
Sparrohawcs explanation is also a pretty good one.
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I seriously hope you mean this as a joke.
Not for much longer at this rate, submit ID for verification
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How do you know they're guys?
Who decides who's a woman?They've got a super secret proprietary Testoste-meter
, of course!Totally different from the Teste-tester
and similar knock-offs. Theirs is legit, 100% and totally bonerfide. -
Thank you for doing that - such a simple and kind thing to do!
Is it though? You can't seriously expect every lemmy user to do that for you.
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There's no way to "force" anything, different clients are going to behave however they like. Maybe if you need that level of control the Fediverse isn't the right platform to begin with.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Hey, it's not my desire to have a wholly separate space for a subsection of the community... It's not my fault OP doesn't understand the consequences of public message boards. I'm just suggesting ideas that might get closer to their desired mixed reality.
Obviously if they want to do it correctly, it'd have to be something like a separate women-only instance with approved joins. Then they'd be able to facilitate a space where undesirables cannot post.
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These commentsā¦
what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
+1
Community rules are community rules, and you can either follow them or get banned from the community. How is āwomen onlyā any different?
As for the excuse of visibility: the rule is very often in the title, and the initial post, yet not followed.
As for the excuse of how they can tell: well if they canāt, okay, you evaded detection. But posts very often declare āIām a guy and this is my takeā¦ā
I honestly donāt get it, especially on an internet ārefugeā like Lemmy where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.
where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.
Is that why you came to Lemmy? For "safe, moderated discussion"?
I feel like the overwhelming majority of "refugees" were escaping heavy-handed moderation.
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where users should be sensitive to persecution and the importance of safe, moderated discussion spaces.
Is that why you came to Lemmy? For "safe, moderated discussion"?
I feel like the overwhelming majority of "refugees" were escaping heavy-handed moderation.
I came so I wouldnāt be randomly shadowbanned by Reddit because it thinks Iām a spambot, heh.
And because it has human, cozy mods, not the corporate feel of big subs.
I guess Iām saying that I donāt picture people coming here to harass small communities with rules they donāt like, as there was a lot of that on Reddit too.
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Is it though? You can't seriously expect every lemmy user to do that for you.
No, of course I don't expect that. But it's a nice thing when it happens.
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Those people hate people who come in and say "not all men." They will say that it's obvious they are not talking about all men. They don't feel like they should make the disclaimer. We have the complaints about "not all men" men here in this very thread.
But what are you going to do? That's just how women are.
Thatās just how women are.
I chuckled.
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Itās very often right in the title, AND the description, yet filled with men's comments.
Nope. To be clear, the rules are not in the titles of most posts or the community name.
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"The rules are clearly presented"
WRONG! Posts show up in aggregate lists. You know, like the main page of lemmy instances. Where individual community rules do not appear at all if someone clicks on the post directly. I bet a significant amount of the time, people do not even realize which community they're replying to posts in.
Don't like it? Maybe Lemmy needs a way to either remove communities from standard aggregate lists, or to force a popup of community rules when a post is navigated to for a first time viewer that hasn't even seen the community page. Then I'd totally understand being pissed off at first time rule violators.
Why aren't people checking what community they're about to participate in? That feels like it ought to be standard behaviour
