Get. Off. The. Plane.
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Or like that one time where I put my shampoo and conditioner in baggies so they wouldn't spill over my luggage, and TSA took them out to test the liquid, THEN PUT THE DE-LIDDED CONTAINERS BACK IN THE SUITCASE WITHOUT THE BAG.
Wasted all my shampoo and conditioner, and I had to do laundry in the shower on vacation because there wasn't a washer available.
Did you ask the hotel? If you are nice they might wash it for free
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Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
The last large airline to NOT charge for checked bags in the USA, Southwest airlines, has switched to charging for bags.
Oddly the ones that have the best outcome for the deplaning scenario from this bad situation of paid checked bags are the ones that also charge for carry ons like Spirit or Frontier in the USA. So there is an incentive to NOT bring a carry on because you'll be charged for it and instead just pay to check a bag (which has more capacity).
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You couldn't get away with just doing a carry on? It would have to be a 2+ week trip for me going through the hell of checking a bag.
Not GP, but I get free checked bags with “priority” (so they show up first) and pretty much only check a bag. Sometimes I just check a small carryon item.
I carry a backpack with my laptop and other electronics on the plane and that’s it.
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I'm betting on the money. If you think the airlines haven't looked at whether it would be more expedient and therefore profitable to organize deplaning or leave things to animal instincts you are underestimating their greed.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Dude why do you think the airlines are in a hurry? Lol
Everything they do is slow and behind schedule. They do not care, they already have your money. It doesn't save them anything to deboard a couple minutes faster.
Edit: I could probably list several things they could do to for sure save time but they don't do because again, they already have your money
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I’ve had my luggage lost twice, and they don’t pay you back for that.
Excuse me?
Most likely, they pay something like $5/lb of lost luggage, which is not nearly enough
I was lucky to eventually get the lost bags instead of a useless payment when my bags were lost
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Alright. *slaps thighs* Time to stand right in front of my seat for 10 minutes hunched over the seat before me, lest my co-passengers misinterpret my staying seated as an unwillingness to get out of here ASAP.
Hunched over trying to stretch out my painful sciatic nerve issues because I've spent hours in an uncomfortable cramped seat
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Vote with your wallet (wherever possible)
The last large airline to NOT charge for checked bags in the USA, Southwest airlines, has switched to charging for bags.
Oddly the ones that have the best outcome for the deplaning scenario from this bad situation of paid checked bags are the ones that also charge for carry ons like Spirit or Frontier in the USA. So there is an incentive to NOT bring a carry on because you'll be charged for it and instead just pay to check a bag (which has more capacity).
When did that change occur? I took a flight in July with SW and first bag was still free.
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So the correct way to do it is for people like you to skip the line? People who get up and move forward make me want to go postal. They exude "fuck everyone" energy and they think the fact that I stayed seated a few extra seconds is their invitation to skip line. Fuck that.
What fucking line? What are you queueing for? Is there a Bruno Mars concert at the other end of the jetway or something?
If I'm ready to get off the plane and there's room for me to leave me seat, I'm getting off the plane. I'm not waiting to consult with you to make sure it's "my turn" to enter the fucking airport.
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
There is a faster method of deplaning. Inside-out is faster. All the aisle seats get their stuff and get off. Then middle, then window
Unfortunately it was never implemented because it makes it difficult to charge extra for higher class zones. It's also very difficult to get people to actually do it
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This is the same line of thinking as, "if everyone drove like me, there'd be no traffic," (a phrase used exclusively by terrible drivers).
I use that phrase all the time and I'm not a terrible driver. In fact, I rarely drive at all. I work from home and live in a walkable area. So yeah, literally if everyone drove like me, there would be less traffic.
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(Source: TikTok video)
During covid it was so good. They actually called the lines which can leave the plane so we all left in an orderly fashion.
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There is a faster method of deplaning. Inside-out is faster. All the aisle seats get their stuff and get off. Then middle, then window
Unfortunately it was never implemented because it makes it difficult to charge extra for higher class zones. It's also very difficult to get people to actually do it
It would also split up people who are travelling together, so there's no way it's happening.
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When did that change occur? I took a flight in July with SW and first bag was still free.
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What fucking line? What are you queueing for? Is there a Bruno Mars concert at the other end of the jetway or something?
If I'm ready to get off the plane and there's room for me to leave me seat, I'm getting off the plane. I'm not waiting to consult with you to make sure it's "my turn" to enter the fucking airport.
So you're one of the selfish dickheads. Cool.
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
That would slow down boarding exponentially. It just takes one or two assholes to need to have flight attendants stationed throughout the entire cabin making sure people use their bins.
Rule of thumb: if you are anything past the first peasant boarding group, look ahead. If things look crowded? Find the first mostly empty bin and just put your bag up there so that you can grab it on your way out. Otherwise you are gambling that there will be an opening closer to where you actually sit which inevitably is five rows behind you.
And that (and lounge access and not needing to manage miles for status) is why I ended up just getting the fancy credit card for my airline group of choice. Priority boarding means it doesn't matter where I sit: I have "my" bin.
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So the correct way to do it is for people like you to skip the line? People who get up and move forward make me want to go postal. They exude "fuck everyone" energy and they think the fact that I stayed seated a few extra seconds is their invitation to skip line. Fuck that.
It's not skipping the line, it's waiting longer until there's a time where you don't hold it up and allow others to pass.
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It's not skipping the line, it's waiting longer until there's a time where you don't hold it up and allow others to pass.
I am so confused by this thread and this comment might take the cake. It just feels like we're all speaking different languages and none of them have anything to do with the original post. People are slow was the point. But the whole thread is people changing the subject in ways that make me say "... what ?". Did I accidentally ingest hard drugs this morning or what?
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If they managed where luggage was stored in the overhead, they could reduce it 10 fold. The whole wait is because people need to go back x rows past people standing to get their luggage. Even if they made everyone sit and deboard in zones it could be way faster.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The luggage problem has only got worse and worse over the past decade, and by the airlines' own making. Carriers all started trying to make extra cash by charging for checked luggage, which incentivises people to take carry-on only, up to the maximum size and quantity of carry-on they are permitted.
If bags could be checked for free and people took only an under-seat carry-on for the things they need in flight it wouldn't be a problem, but we know that's never going to happen.
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To all the people telling OP they're wrong, you don't fly enough. The issue isn't evenly distributed. It's not like cars in traffic or whatever.
Airlines put the expensive seats in the front. The people who can afford them are usually much older, either traveling retirees or very late career white collar workers who have significant status. They're the first ones holding up everyone because they take forever to find all the assorted shit (personal item, oversized roller bag, neck pillow, laptop, ipad, lost earbud, etc) they've stuck all over the place, which the gate agent/FAs wouldn't admonish them for because of their aforementioned status. But they're first class, so the peasants behind them can wait in the bread line.
After they get off (on watching you glare), depending on airline, it's the fraction of people who are old and not rich, or don't fly often and aren't used to all the ritual. They'll have placed their bag in an overhead that's 12 rows behind them and demand everyone stop and crowd surf it up or else they'll just sit there blocking the line.
After them come the young vacation families, you know, the ones who had the screaming baby for the last 6 hours. They couldn't be bothered to pay for seat selection to save money so one parent is with one kid three rows ahead but needs to coral the kids behind them because the other parent was playing on a Nintendo switch for the whole flight and didn't try to organize all the kids toys, now lost to entropy, and so the marital spat and bawling (louder now) children begin.
Then there's you. You fly a lot so you have nothing more than two pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, all safely hidden from the TSA in your prison wallet and ready to go without so much as a nanosecond of notice, along with your phone and airpods to combat the screaming child in front of you. You got 31B, way in the back, after trying to game united's seat assignment system by checking in only after all but the exit row seats were taken, but someone missed their flight and here you are.
Generally the legacy airlines will have the most old people, but the vast majority of people on them are very used to flying, because they know better than to book a budget airline. It'll be slow yet ordered.
The budget airlines like united and frontier will be the opposite, lots of young spry 20 somethings, but lots of vacation families that couldn't afford Delta... I won't sugar coat it, it's gonna be a shit storm. The FAs have been contractually required to keep everyone at the very edge of their sanity through the enforcement of a variety of draconian company policies (like turning on all the lights half way through a redeye to scream about some credit card offer), so things are primed for chaos. Lots of shoving and yelling. Everyone's reviewing the Wikipedia "list of crimes of passion" to see if this qualifies.
Then there's spirit. Half the people on the flight will be coming down off of something they got on the dark web by the time you arrive at the gate. You've already seen at least a liter of blood spilled from various fist fights. Everyone was already up and crushing each other in the aisle long before the captain even briefed the approach. The FAs have locked themselves in the lavs by now and the captain (an FFDO) has barricaded the flight deck with charts and duct tape and is aiming his questionably modded P320 at he door. Welcome to the new season of Hunger Games - Spam Can. You're on your own, good luck and good hunting.
this is accurate except for the bit about United - who the fuck flies United? don't people know that they break guitars?
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(Source: TikTok video)
I want the safety announcement at the start of the flight to say:
"You are in a flying metal coffin. Now imagine this coffin filling with smoke and fire. This plane only passes safety regulations because we simulated unboarding it with everyone behaving perfectly, leaving all of their crap behind. In an emergency, you MUST leave your stuff behind. Your life depends on it. The lives of everyone around you depend on it. If you see someone trying to take stuff with them, you MUST use whatever level of force is necessary to stop them. Even lethal force is justified. You must be prepared to tear someone to pieces if they don't leave their stuff behind. The lives of you and your family depend on the asshole in front of you letting their laptop burn."
That's the kind of boarding announcement I want to hear!
