Anon dates a 19 y/o
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A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…
I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.
I agree with this. For me, so so much integral growth happens between ages 20 and 26-28 or so, and I don't really think people in general know who they are or what they want in life until then. Not true for everyone of course. All the people I know who married young are either divorced or super unhappy though so it may skew my perception a bit.
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Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.
They do it because the primary motivation they have for seeking the "relationship", for lack of a better word, is mostly concerned with indulging in the form/condition/use of the person's body and has little concern for the form/condition/use of the their personality.
This means, of course, that any other time they have to spend with the person, that doesn't involve indulging in hedonistic physical pursuits, will be a constant reminder that they have little in common with, and no interest in, the mind/personality of the person they're diddling at all.
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Reading brainrot girlfriend has made me desire this.
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Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.
younger partners are easier to control.
and less worldly experience means they won't notice their dull personality.
lack of maturity and life milestones to date similar age ranges.
over emphasis on bodily needs.
and i repeat, control.
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Maybe she was rich and could stay high and watch musicals for the rest of her life. What a lucky girl she was.
Not in the slightest. She was already 12k in credit card debt when I met her.
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I was barely 23 and am currently dating the same girl I met who was 19. (Its about to be 2 years woo!)
I had just gotten out of military so most girls in my classes were 3-4 years younger and I wasn't interested in dating (I like women a bit older than me) but she wreckingballed into my life because she saw something she wanted and actively attempted to get it.
This is the best relationship I've ever had but I won't deny that sometimes the response I get to something serious and wanting to plan ahead is met by my partner suggesting I move into the city (alone) to be closer just so she knows what it's like to have a boyfriend in the city.
Her focuses right now are being young and getting her excitement now before she has to square away. She used to think everyone has a stoner era and that was just what people did, so she was surprised how anti-drug/vice I was.
The mental divide is definitely something I would warn people about when dating with age differences.I dont understand the guys that date fresh 18 year olds in their near 30's, I know its legal but I genuinely dont understand what a 30 year old would find so interesting about an 18 year old other than just trying to bang/control them.
I'm 41. The idea of dating anyone below 30 is a no-go let alone an 18 year old. I agree that anyone above 30 going for fresh high school grads is strictly in it for the unequal power dynamics and questionable sexual proclivities.
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People make life choices based on how things are, not how they ought to be.
Generally a “gold digger” refers to a young woman who marries an elderly rich man with the intent of gaining a large inheritance, not a young woman who marries an established (but still working) man a few decades her senior with the intent of raising a family. A big “gold digger tell” is that the rich guy already has adult children who end up in a feud with his new young wife (because she represents a threat to their inheritance).
Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.
People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.
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Honestly, because i'm a 20 something year old man with no life experiences and I don't know how to survive on my own. Someone older with more experience who would be willing to teach me would be nice. It's a big ask I guess. I don't really know what else to do. I'm lonely and i'd like to meet someone kind, caring, and beautiful who can be a friend, lover, and teacher if you will. I haven't told anyone this because it makes me sound desperate and like a lost cause.
Ah, I see. I understand. That's a big part of why I like older partners too.
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So I went back to seeing myself as unimportant
If that's how you see yourself, imagine what people think when they don't even know you and meet you for the first time. Focus on what you have to offer other people, not what other people have that you want.
It's just even when I'm focused on other people, anything I can do, is just second rate to the average person. If they try, they can always do it better than me.
I am temporary support for most people who are friends with me. I do a good thing here and there, and after that dries out, they lose interest.
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It's just even when I'm focused on other people, anything I can do, is just second rate to the average person. If they try, they can always do it better than me.
I am temporary support for most people who are friends with me. I do a good thing here and there, and after that dries out, they lose interest.
Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?
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Who told you there was anything at all you could do in your life that there wouldn't be something better than you at? Why do you let that stop you from doing anything?
I have friends I worry about daily, which sometimes gets in the way of self-improvement. I have a very rigid schedule that I'm like, failing right now. I work 9 hours a day, and get up at 5 AM. I have to pay off my mother's debt, or she is screwed. She works for an abusive company, and I put up with abuse in order to get her out.
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Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.
People can do what they want, but women shouldn't have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That's all I'm saying.
Sure, they shouldn’t, but that’s life now. You gotta have a lot of money to have children today.
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A lot of people are downvoting this because a 19 year old is an adult who can make their own choices and you are insinuating that there's something so objectively wrong with dating an older person that it should be illegal.
I am not in any way suggesting it should be illegal. I don't think I mentioned that once.
What I am insinuating that if you're that young dating someone much older, there is almost always a massive power imbalance between the two in the relationship, romantically, and so it's a very difficult thing to overcome.
If you're a 30/40/50+ year old person dating a 19 year old, there is usually something wrong with one party, the other, or both in that scenario. A 19 year old, romantically, is not mature enough or at the same place in their life as a 50 year old person. This will, at best, strain the relationship significantly as each partner will want something different out of life as the relationship progresses.
If they don't, then one of them is likely a deeply broken individual. And that's usually going to be the much older person that's got some issues happening.
The 19 year old truly doesn't know any better, or thinks they do, or is getting something in trade like security from the much older person and they're willing to give up other aspects of their life in trade for this.
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Rule #492 do not call women your own age a hag
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It feels wrong to read manga-style art left to right.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The whole comic was brain rot talk that i didn't even notice it didn't narratively connect.
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I’ll just keep trying until I get one.
Literally all you can ever do.
That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.
Had three relationships that ran 2-5 years each before I got married, with a smattering of dating and perennial party girl friends in between.
But it's so weird to want to hook up, then never see that person again.
That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.
Admittedly, in my case I may be overstating the one night stand nature. I see see most of these women every once in a while out and about and they're still friendly. However I'd not describe us as friends but more like friendly acquaintances that once had sex who sparsely see each other out in the wild. I've not had the chance to get in another major conversation with them and walk to a place after (I don't live in town but I have an agreement with a friend), so maybe something more might come about but probably not. I think they knew that we did not have much in common and we were just bored and horny.
I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I'll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily. Right now I commute to work, every blue moon hit a local place after work. There might not be enough frequency for solid friendship.
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Yeah it kind of is. Thing is though its almost easy to avoid rightwingers for me, they don't seem to hit spots I frequent. Men or women.
I can pretty easily look past it mostly if someone is religious (though I may engage in light ribbing because I'm an atheist).
I did have one woman try and uh... "fix" me and my atheism at a bar. She was one of those neopagan "heretic" type crystal people. It was a strange experience trying to discern what the hell she was talking about. She seemed convinced that I understood her religious rhetoric but she was on some kind of advanced reading. She had me hold a crystal she kept in her bag. Admittedly we did not end up going to bed together... She was painfully hot and I was legitimately intimidated by how hot she was and how crazy she seemed.
I kind of hope I see her again because at the very least it was kind of interesting talking to her. Then again IDK I'll probably continue to be intimidated and nothing romantic is likely to happen between us.
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Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.
Oh, but all rectangles are squares if we shoehorn a non-standard metric (this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the thread and it's just a dumb math joke).
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That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.
Admittedly, in my case I may be overstating the one night stand nature. I see see most of these women every once in a while out and about and they're still friendly. However I'd not describe us as friends but more like friendly acquaintances that once had sex who sparsely see each other out in the wild. I've not had the chance to get in another major conversation with them and walk to a place after (I don't live in town but I have an agreement with a friend), so maybe something more might come about but probably not. I think they knew that we did not have much in common and we were just bored and horny.
I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I'll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily. Right now I commute to work, every blue moon hit a local place after work. There might not be enough frequency for solid friendship.
I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I’ll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily.
Best of luck. But yeah, the 'burbs are absolutely awful for meeting people who aren't already settled down. Live in the city with the cool single people! I did that all through my 20s and liked it so much I never left.
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I think once I move back into town in a month or two this might change. I’ll end up seeing the same faces more often and maybe something can develop out of that more easily.
Best of luck. But yeah, the 'burbs are absolutely awful for meeting people who aren't already settled down. Live in the city with the cool single people! I did that all through my 20s and liked it so much I never left.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I have always been too poor until recently to really afford that until now and I'm not in my 20's unfortunately.
I've been stuck in rural/suburban hell for most of my life because it was what I could afford. I could split a house with roommates easily for cheap rent. And I went to a nerdy sausage fest of a college (before I realized I was bi). I'll admit I'm trying to make up for lost time now. I feel like I would of had more fun had I done this in my 20's... but whatever, late is better than never I guess.
TBH, the city I'm going to move to is kind of small as well. Hopefully I can maybe move to a bigger one at some point if I can get a job in a big city someday, but with this economy I think it might be a while.
