Minimum dating standards
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Guy who is me who is single: I'd be fine if we could just get some third places that aren't focused on drinking where it is appropriate to ask women on a date.
Or if I started drinking more again I guess, but having quit for a while to cut back I don't want to get back to where I was, I'm doing good.
100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
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It's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at such places, the common complaint being that they can't even enjoy their hobby without guys asking them out.
Yes, that's what I meant but don't be a creeper that's cruising for dates. You can still make friends, and over a longer period of time ask if there's interest. I don't have an objective set of rules for this path- almost all of my dates were via dating apps, where interest in dating can be assumed.
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100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Well to do that all my friends would have to un-OD on heroin lol, the opioid epidemic did a real number on my city. I never did it myself, but for me to invite them over I'd need a shovel or a Ouija Board, and idk who they'd bring but I'm not sure I wanna find out!
"Damn Steve, when did you become friends with Moloch and Baal? And why'd you bring Ea-Nasir?!"
My only living in town friend is moving in about a year, too. And if he had anyone he could set me up with I'd know lol, known him for 15yr.
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which is very loosely defined and could mean anything
wrote last edited by [email protected]If you write messages to other men about how unreasonable women's dating expectations are and its mostly relating to common male insecurities, there's a pretty good chance you're incel posting or parodying an incel.
Height, abs, balding are all common cishet male insecurities, and largely have nothing to do with finding a girlfriend.
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And eat 3 meals a day. A banana counts for breakfast.
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::: spoiler spoilerIts a reference to the anime One Punch Man where Saitama, the hero, attains ungodly power through diet and exercise.
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Found the astro-physicist
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Well to do that all my friends would have to un-OD on heroin lol, the opioid epidemic did a real number on my city. I never did it myself, but for me to invite them over I'd need a shovel or a Ouija Board, and idk who they'd bring but I'm not sure I wanna find out!
"Damn Steve, when did you become friends with Moloch and Baal? And why'd you bring Ea-Nasir?!"
My only living in town friend is moving in about a year, too. And if he had anyone he could set me up with I'd know lol, known him for 15yr.
Yeesh. Sounds like you need a new set of friends or a new town. I wonder how much of the loneliness is down to loads of people living in really sparse areas.
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Or not be an incel.
That one secret trick to dating.
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All you need to be a superhero is 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 km run every day.
wrote last edited by [email protected]96...97...98...
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100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
You have made one major assumption here which I feel cannot be overlooked.
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To be fair we are all waiting on robot cat girls with Voice ChatGPT & all terrain interior.
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All you need to be a superhero is 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 km run every day.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Don't forget the bananas
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Yeesh. Sounds like you need a new set of friends or a new town. I wonder how much of the loneliness is down to loads of people living in really sparse areas.
Yeah well y'know, I work, then I'm too tired to go out, can't afford bars anymore and if I could I'm still too old for that shit.
I do go out to some naturey places when the weather permits (of course it's been hotter than the sun until like this week), but it's not like a naturey meet up I just smoke weed and read a book next to the creek, and look at frogs and shit.
Furthermore, I don't know how these people who say "go to X or Y" even find out that X or Y is happening locally, and where/when. Newspapers? Those still around?
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Have you tried? Come back to me in a week.
I did it for 72 days straight back in 2022. Admittedly was a lot easier during the pandemic when you weren't expected to see anyone.
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It's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at such places, the common complaint being that they can't even enjoy their hobby without guys asking them out.
Finding romantic and sexual partners is really, really hard for people who are unable to find new friends generally.
It's a lot easier to meet women to date when you don't have much trouble talking to women and men you're not at all interested in dating.
The friend of friend angle remains one of the best filters for finding available partners who might actually be compatible with you. And that pool is a lot bigger when you can get along with people through hobbies and activities, who have already kinda vetted that you're a good person who is fun to be around.
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Finding romantic and sexual partners is really, really hard for people who are unable to find new friends generally.
It's a lot easier to meet women to date when you don't have much trouble talking to women and men you're not at all interested in dating.
The friend of friend angle remains one of the best filters for finding available partners who might actually be compatible with you. And that pool is a lot bigger when you can get along with people through hobbies and activities, who have already kinda vetted that you're a good person who is fun to be around.
I can talk to people just fine, when I find people to talk to. But ime most people are busy with their daily lives. Today I'm at work, I'm going to get in my car and drive to lunch, and stop into the grocery store otw home. Sure I can talk to the superficial work friends, but after that it's nobody (in person) all day. My only in town friend has night shift, so he's not chillin.
Could I go to the bar? Sure, but again I don't want to. Could I go to the lake? Hell, might, great day, but I'll be bringing a joint and a book and finding a quiet spot, none of the runners or bikers want to take out their headphones and chat.
"Friends" beyond the superficial level that is basically natural requires us to not be busy ass 30-somethings.
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I can talk to people just fine, when I find people to talk to. But ime most people are busy with their daily lives. Today I'm at work, I'm going to get in my car and drive to lunch, and stop into the grocery store otw home. Sure I can talk to the superficial work friends, but after that it's nobody (in person) all day. My only in town friend has night shift, so he's not chillin.
Could I go to the bar? Sure, but again I don't want to. Could I go to the lake? Hell, might, great day, but I'll be bringing a joint and a book and finding a quiet spot, none of the runners or bikers want to take out their headphones and chat.
"Friends" beyond the superficial level that is basically natural requires us to not be busy ass 30-somethings.
"Friends" beyond the superficial level that is basically natural requires us to not be busy ass 30-somethings.
Generally speaking, for people who don't even have the time or energy to foster friendships and superficial relationships that are already in their life, it's gonna be hard to find, evaluate, and build potential romantic relationships.
That's what meetups and hobby-based activities are for. They're supposed to be fulfilling enough for the activity alone, with the added social benefit of new friends added on. If you'd be willing to do that for the possibility of meeting new romantic partners but not the possibility of meeting new friends, that's gonna be a pretty tough sell even to the potential romantic partners, that you're not really there to make friends.
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Guy I know who is single: "You need to be literally perfect! Tons of money, super athletic, cultured, brilliant, speaking six different languages! It's impossible!"
Girl I know who is single: "Fuck me, I hope this next guy I'm seeing isn't married, can cover his side of the check, and remembered to wash his ass. Although, at this point, two out of three isn't bad."
I'm not Czech, I can cover the sides of my ass, and I remember I'm married.
How did I do?
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"Friends" beyond the superficial level that is basically natural requires us to not be busy ass 30-somethings.
Generally speaking, for people who don't even have the time or energy to foster friendships and superficial relationships that are already in their life, it's gonna be hard to find, evaluate, and build potential romantic relationships.
That's what meetups and hobby-based activities are for. They're supposed to be fulfilling enough for the activity alone, with the added social benefit of new friends added on. If you'd be willing to do that for the possibility of meeting new romantic partners but not the possibility of meeting new friends, that's gonna be a pretty tough sell even to the potential romantic partners, that you're not really there to make friends.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Opposite, I could do that (assuming I could even find said groups, what, newspapers?) for friends but not romantic partners, beyond one of them introducing me to someone. I wouldn't date anyone in the group unless she asked me out because it's my understanding that women don't want to be asked out at the hobby they're "just trying to enjoy" as the complaint often goes. And women, IME, don't often ask people out. It happened to me once, I blew it because I didn't even know how to react lol. Tbf it was kinda on her, I said yes and she didn't follow up with anything. I should have just taken over but I kinda thought she was gonna be like "great friday at 8?" or something but instead I kinda laughed nervously and she just walked away lol.
The part everyone seems to be missing is: I don't need help conversing, I need to know the locations of like groups of nature loving book readers that actively want to chat and how to find their schedule.
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Have you tried? Come back to me in a week.
5 sets of 20 is pretty easy for the bodyweight exercises, the run is the hard part imo
