would dating him be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes?
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ik he doesn't care about consent
That's it. That's all your post needed to include. Literally everything else is unnecessary. Your history with your ex is irrelevant to this critical factor.
This is the only piece of information that matters, and it screams, "Hell, no." This man shouldn't exist in your romantic space.
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Best advice I can give at 40 is simple: Don't worry or even think about dating anyone because of relationship reasons. Be the best version of you and make yourself happy first. If you are balanced and in a good place, you'll meet someone in similar straights and it will work out right. If you have no deeper interests yet in life, that is fine. Try volunteering in your community for a day. Just try it. Meeting people that are also volunteering is a good way to find great people that have the kinds of qualities that lead to life long friends. It will also put life in perspective.
Chasing relationships always lead me to bad places.
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i didn’t know all the details, he just said that she showed signs of schizophrenia and acted weird. i didn’t know her and didn’t know their relationship, but i know he did leave her because she had hallucinations, paranoia, thought objects were real (like dolls), and apparently age regressed a lot. he said she got too clingy and “weird” and even “crazy” for his liking. (which ik that word is stigmatizing in that context because in high school, we were told not to call ppl who showed signs of mental illness crazy)
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thanks so much, i blocked him because he wouldn’t stop harassing me. he told me to ditch my bf for him and didn’t care that i didn’t have feelings for him. in fact, he didn’t care much about my personality or identity so long as i was his girlfriend. that’s all he saw, nothing else outside of that.
and even though he wanted me to “take my time”, he was convinced i was his future wife despite only having known me for about a week all because i was pretty and nice to him.
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Mossyfeather smart
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Asking you to cheat while they would also be cheating is a huge red flag as a potential partner and friend. Sounds like you know what you need to do
You're worth more than that!
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That man has more red flags than a flag football team.
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As a straight guy <sinp some pointless comment>, stat the fuck away from that guy
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I'm not going to tell you what to do. I am going to point out the red flags you cited and ask what you would say to a friend who was considering dating someone who behaves like this.
he kept talking about... that i should’ve ditched my bf for him
In other words, he did not respect your relationship when you were in one.
badmouthed not only his gf of a few years
He handles struggles in a relationship by badmouthing his partner to others,
he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia
and uses an armchair diagnosis as an excuse to get out of a relationship instead of just saying it's not working for him anymore like an adult.
he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn’t want to be his gf
He doesn't care about your preferences, and tries to manipulate you when they don't match his.
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Re-read your own words. This went from unhealthy to straight-up dangerous.
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Oh god you’re a mess. Don’t date women either….
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Sounds perfect for this woman with a nearly equal amount of red flags
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No offense, but you really need to figure yourself our before you try dating anyone else. This post has a lot of red flags.
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You don’t want that guy. What you want is attention, and he was the last person to give it to you, therefore you think you want him.
Just get dressed up and go to a bar, and you’ll find enough guys who will give you that, without the red flags.
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You don't genuinely like him, you're just lonely. Plus, he doesn't respect you at all, or his previous girlfriend. He won't treat you right, but let's be honest, even if he was the greatest man in the world, you're not actually into him.
It sounds like you're having a really hard time and you just want some tenderness and support, but you won't get it from a misogynist.
Keep him blocked, and take care of yourself.
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Literally everything is a red flag in this post. Stay far away from this person.
I personally think you need to take some time off dating in general (both women and men) to really figure out what you want (not just sexually or romantically, but what you want a relationship to be). Don't let other people influence that.
Also unrelated, but make sure you stay far away from drugs. They will make not just this situation, but every situation worse.
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You basically just described a walking, talking red flag. What an asshole. That’s your answer btw: no.
Also, just going into a relationship to cure your loneliness is insultingly unfair for your future partner. This red flag is on you.
Just sort your own stuff out and stay away from any relationship for a while. You will only hurt yourself and others when starting one now.
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that makes sense
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thanks so much 🫂 gave me the ick a little that he barely acknowledged that i liked girls. he only cared about if i liked guys or had a bf, he only got upset when i liked a guy.
it’s almost as if he was trying to act like i was straight, which was a bit insulting to me. if i had a gf/liked a girl, he would act like that meant i was just single and not attracted to anyone at all.
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thanks so much!
