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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • M [email protected]

    I'd like a pleasant surprise that has no negative consequences whatsoever.

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #153

    Done. 152 Visual Phenomena & Optical Illusions with explanations by Michael Bach: https://michaelbach.de/ot/

    M 1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      cilethesane@lemmy.caC This user is from outside of this forum
      cilethesane@lemmy.caC This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #154

      Could you spread all the empathy across everyone evenly, and then increase it by about 10%?

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI 2 Replies Last reply
      1
      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        basxto@discuss.tchncs.deB This user is from outside of this forum
        basxto@discuss.tchncs.deB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #155

        Yes, mybody wants anything. Though the community says anything goes, so I’m not sure how long I’ll have it 🤔

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

          Sure, you are now the owner (of a copy) of the "Rex Nihilio" album from Massachusetts death metal/deathcore band "Obliviation".

          https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Obliviation/3540463485

          N This user is from outside of this forum
          N This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #156

          A little rough around the edges, but solid stuff, no complaints. Really not bad for a monkey paw thing.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

            Hmm, I was going to say you go insane but I see you've covered that. Okay, nice. Any question you ask will receive a safe response (answered if possible). However, you must ask the questions out loud and every answer given will be in a booming voice that nearly everyone hears around the world. The answers do not physically or mentally harm you, but other people may have psychotic breaks depending on the questions you ask:

            (To be clear, the wish doesn't give you the second ability to talk to animals or transmit thoughts. You'll have to ask about whether those things are possible.)

            W This user is from outside of this forum
            W This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #157

            Fair. I would argue that "many people going insane" would be covered under the sacrifice clause, but hey, this seems like the best of all possible outcomes from mucking about with reality.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • J [email protected]

              For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:

              You'd like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that's:

              1. Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
              2. Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
              3. Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
              4. Includes explanations for unknowable questions
              5. Avoids circular logic
              6. Doesn't require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you'll be informed)
              7. Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.

              In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.

              W This user is from outside of this forum
              W This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by [email protected]
              #158

              Yes, unlimited access to universal truth, with error reporting, but I've read enough monkey's paws to know how this goes.

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                drunkanroot@sh.itjust.worksD This user is from outside of this forum
                drunkanroot@sh.itjust.worksD This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #159

                2 kittens

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                  Half-Life 3 Confirmed:

                  samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                  samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #160

                  Wow, the other guy told me that was too large a nudge! Thanks, balderdash!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    X This user is from outside of this forum
                    X This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #161

                    Can you clear both my nasal passages so I can breath through them simultaneously?

                    T balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 2 Replies Last reply
                    4
                    • J [email protected]

                      For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:

                      You'd like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that's:

                      1. Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
                      2. Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
                      3. Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
                      4. Includes explanations for unknowable questions
                      5. Avoids circular logic
                      6. Doesn't require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you'll be informed)
                      7. Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.

                      In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.

                      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                      lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #162

                      don't.

                      if you didn't think it worth the time to write it, why should i take the time to read it? surely it will be worthless.

                      i'm not here for the bots.

                      J 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                        This post did not contain any content.
                        goldmage263@sh.itjust.worksG This user is from outside of this forum
                        goldmage263@sh.itjust.worksG This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #163

                        For myself, can't think of much, just a good coffee. I never mastered the art of arabica-dabra. See you at the next wizard summit.

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB B 2 Replies Last reply
                        0
                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                          lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                          lime@feddit.nuL This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #164

                          everyone can now shape-shift at will. this has always been the case.

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            G This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #165

                            disappear the orange orc.

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                              Sure, you are now the owner (of a copy) of the "Rex Nihilio" album from Massachusetts death metal/deathcore band "Obliviation".

                              https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Obliviation/3540463485

                              G This user is from outside of this forum
                              G This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #166

                              best boyscout troop ever

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                Okay, but everyone knows it was you. Near-light speed here we go:

                                I This user is from outside of this forum
                                I This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #167

                                I'm fine with them knowing, at 0.9c subjective time they would only know for the rest of their lives, which is just 4 minutes
                                Assuming you did not accelerate the Earth to 0.9c but changing the inertial speed and trajectory of Earth.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • W [email protected]

                                  Literally would not have the time for that on an average day. Will see if I can get Vuzix glasses 2 so I can covertly read it at work.

                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #168

                                  Get the audiobooks. Listen to it in the car. But yeah, one of the plot points is basically exactly this, where people can effectively have a "save point" in life. I won't spoil it, but it's great.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                    They're a bit stale

                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                                    F This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #169

                                    Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on stage, The Stale Anuses.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • anafabula@discuss.tchncs.deA [email protected]

                                      Use this better GPT

                                      U This user is from outside of this forum
                                      U This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                      #170

                                      This is actually the first thing I thought of; I was really confused there for a sec. Then I remembered AI exists...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #171

                                        100 tacos for $100 deal at the local shack

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #172

                                          I want my teeth back and healthy

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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