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The Job

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Programmer Humor
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  • genfood@feddit.orgG This user is from outside of this forum
    genfood@feddit.orgG This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #1
    This post did not contain any content.
    R S H R M 14 Replies Last reply
    605
    • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
      This post did not contain any content.
      R This user is from outside of this forum
      R This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      What's this?

      J 1 Reply Last reply
      18
      • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        "We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components."

        x months pass

        "Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!"

        K 1 Reply Last reply
        61
        • R [email protected]

          What's this?

          J This user is from outside of this forum
          J This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          The promise of Jenkins and all the much more modern CI/CD tools when the job is ultimately just maintaining an aging Jenkins server.

          K 1 Reply Last reply
          45
          • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            H This user is from outside of this forum
            H This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Not knowing yourself; it's a lot like dating in that there's big dreams and ideas but the reality of what is needed on the daily often doesn't mesh. I find it helps to talk to other employees and ask about their job and roles to get an envelope of what the company actually needs vs. what they say they need.

            Can't really so that with dating though!

            P 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              R This user is from outside of this forum
              R This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Minimum qualifications:

              • master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
              • 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
              • Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.

              The actual job

              • Write an html page for our team on our website.
              crazi_man@europe.pubC W A 3 Replies Last reply
              110
              • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.

                M 1 Reply Last reply
                24
                • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Straight up jenkin it

                  P 1 Reply Last reply
                  31
                  • H [email protected]

                    Not knowing yourself; it's a lot like dating in that there's big dreams and ideas but the reality of what is needed on the daily often doesn't mesh. I find it helps to talk to other employees and ask about their job and roles to get an envelope of what the company actually needs vs. what they say they need.

                    Can't really so that with dating though!

                    P This user is from outside of this forum
                    P This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Finding a job is like dating except if you are too picky you starve to death.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    6
                    • J [email protected]

                      The promise of Jenkins and all the much more modern CI/CD tools when the job is ultimately just maintaining an aging Jenkins server.

                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      Ah I thought was a thing about ask jeaves

                      rickyrigatoni@retrolemmy.comR 1 Reply Last reply
                      8
                      • R [email protected]

                        Minimum qualifications:

                        • master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
                        • 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
                        • Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.

                        The actual job

                        • Write an html page for our team on our website.
                        crazi_man@europe.pubC This user is from outside of this forum
                        crazi_man@europe.pubC This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        Qualification inflation and no other suitable opportunities.

                        Employers have blatantly ridiculous demands because they will find people who cater to these demands in a shit system and shit economy.

                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                        30
                        • M [email protected]

                          There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.

                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                          M This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          Frankly, the only respectable way to do it!

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          5
                          • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                            trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            Ask Jeeves?

                            B 1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Learn bash. Learn jenkins. You'll thank me later

                              M K 2 Replies Last reply
                              28
                              • genfood@feddit.orgG [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                I know why they do this. The last guy's core job was Ask Jeeves, but he was involved in and at least touched all those other technologies. HR looks at last guy's resume, figures those are the skills needed, posts a mess.

                                SOURCE: Been the last guy, seen my replacement posting.

                                G 1 Reply Last reply
                                7
                                • trickdacy@lemmy.worldT [email protected]

                                  Ask Jeeves?

                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  B This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  Jenkins CI/CD

                                  trickdacy@lemmy.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
                                  7
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    Jenkins CI/CD

                                    trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Ah, I remember ops people talking about "Jankins"

                                    D 1 Reply Last reply
                                    4
                                    • S [email protected]

                                      I know why they do this. The last guy's core job was Ask Jeeves, but he was involved in and at least touched all those other technologies. HR looks at last guy's resume, figures those are the skills needed, posts a mess.

                                      SOURCE: Been the last guy, seen my replacement posting.

                                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      It's called Jenkins/Hudson

                                      C N 2 Replies Last reply
                                      5
                                      • R [email protected]

                                        Minimum qualifications:

                                        • master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
                                        • 15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
                                        • Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.

                                        The actual job

                                        • Write an html page for our team on our website.
                                        W This user is from outside of this forum
                                        W This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Thank you. Not super techie and just needed the meme explained.

                                        And btw… sounds like damn good work if you can get it.

                                        M 1 Reply Last reply
                                        11
                                        • S [email protected]

                                          "We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components."

                                          x months pass

                                          "Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!"

                                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                                          K This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          Hey, do I work for you?

                                          S T 2 Replies Last reply
                                          7
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