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  1. Home
  2. Microblog Memes
  3. I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.

I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • G [email protected]

    Hopefully you don't kill anybody else when it finally happens

    amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
    amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #161

    You can sleep soundly, my driving skills and reflexes will continue being unreasonably good for another 2 or 3 decades at least, and I doubt I'll still be driving myself anywhere by that point

    G 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • H [email protected]

      Wrong I presume?

      amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
      amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
      #162

      Oh most definitely, ADHD+autism, in exchange for absurd skill acquisition and long-term info retention I have horrible short-term memory, intense executive dysfunction, depression, although that last one has been a lot better since I transitioned. Turns out one of the things that was wrong with my brain was an estrogen deficiency lol

      E 1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA [email protected]

        Oh most definitely, ADHD+autism, in exchange for absurd skill acquisition and long-term info retention I have horrible short-term memory, intense executive dysfunction, depression, although that last one has been a lot better since I transitioned. Turns out one of the things that was wrong with my brain was an estrogen deficiency lol

        E This user is from outside of this forum
        E This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #163

        You forgot the grandiosity.

        amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • E [email protected]

          You forgot the grandiosity.

          amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
          amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #164

          Recognizing and honestly assessing your own strengths and weaknesses isn't "grandiosity", calm down

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • H [email protected]

            Or at least, you think you do.

            amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
            amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #165

            If I wasn't right about it I wouldn't have a flawless driving record

            H 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • S [email protected]

              I don't know. It's more like a time reference than a consequence of.

              stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
              stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #166

              Gotcha, I am sorry to hear. Hopefully you find freedom and joy during the coming challenges

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • B [email protected]

                given selokichtli already responded i'll chip in as well.
                it's honestly quite hard to give an exact answer, but life has definitely not felt the same ever since the lockdowns hit.

                late 2019 to like 2023 and even early 2024 flew by very fast for me. i can't even really remember much from that period and i'm not sure whether it's a direct consequence of the above, or maybe it's from COVID brain fog (i'm not even sure if i had COVID in the first place)

                in any case things have felt off since the lockdowns. not to mention how much the internet has changed ever since LLMs got rolled out.

                stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                stinky@redlemmy.comS This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #167

                ok, thank you for responding, my memories of 2020 are very fast too, I did not notice until now

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • goldenquetzal@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                  You can't just drop that with no details!

                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #168

                  I was working in the crematory, and accidentally cut myself. I was rushing to get some ashes transferred to another urn, because the family was waiting up front. Jabbed myself in the thumb with the wire cutters that we use to get the zip ties off of the bags that hold the ashes inside the urn. Cleaned it up and put a Band-Aid on it. Few days later it still hurt like crazy. I saw when I looked at it that there is a little bit of pus coming out. I squeezed it a little and a little short of bone popped out. Felt a lot better once it fell out!

                  goldenquetzal@lemmy.worldG 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • M [email protected]

                    You probably feel that way because you yourself are currently cheating.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #169

                    I'm not afraid of getting caught for cheating because I'm not cheating. Unless I misread that and you did something else that you're afraid of getting caught for.

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • amnesigenic@lemmy.mlA [email protected]

                      You can sleep soundly, my driving skills and reflexes will continue being unreasonably good for another 2 or 3 decades at least, and I doubt I'll still be driving myself anywhere by that point

                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                      G This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #170

                      RemindMe! 30 years

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • K [email protected]

                        Commonly it's thought of as between red and purple. I don't know where pink comes from.

                        rmuk@feddit.ukR This user is from outside of this forum
                        rmuk@feddit.ukR This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #171

                        I assume it's because of "hot pink" which now I type it sounds like a euphanism.

                        H 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • I [email protected]

                          Ackshually.... Tooth isn't bone

                          rmuk@feddit.ukR This user is from outside of this forum
                          rmuk@feddit.ukR This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #172

                          Right. They're hairy and secrete milk. So, mammal.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • C [email protected]

                            Clairvoyance runs in my family. Most specifically, my sister has predicted several deaths.

                            sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #173

                            Accurately?

                            Great cover for a murderer.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            5
                            • W [email protected]

                              My understanding is that this is also the case (legally) in most of the US. Pedestrians have right of way.

                              People sure don't drive like it though. Too many motherfuckers doing 50 down the fire lane in front of some local shops.

                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              O This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #174

                              Even when the pedestrian has an active do-not-cross signal?

                              W 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • L [email protected]

                                I intentionally make up horrors and monsters to lurk in the shadows or under my bed. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I stare at a corner of the room, imagining some unsettling creature that could be lurking there, staring back at me (if it has eyes at all). I imagine something reaching up to grab the leg I'm stick out over the edge.

                                But they can't actually get me. They're created, sustained and dispelled by my will. They may stare at me, reach for me, but they're powerless. When I'm done with them, I send them back to the half-existence in the collection of ideas I built them from.

                                It's a cruel power fantasy, to make up monsters incapable of understanding that they're the lesser horror between us, but it's fun.

                                It also seems to help me sleep, but that might just be the fact that focusing my brain on one thing quiets all the background noise.

                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #175

                                youre fucked if a tulpa materializes!

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • L [email protected]

                                  I intentionally make up horrors and monsters to lurk in the shadows or under my bed. Sometimes when I can't fall asleep, I stare at a corner of the room, imagining some unsettling creature that could be lurking there, staring back at me (if it has eyes at all). I imagine something reaching up to grab the leg I'm stick out over the edge.

                                  But they can't actually get me. They're created, sustained and dispelled by my will. They may stare at me, reach for me, but they're powerless. When I'm done with them, I send them back to the half-existence in the collection of ideas I built them from.

                                  It's a cruel power fantasy, to make up monsters incapable of understanding that they're the lesser horror between us, but it's fun.

                                  It also seems to help me sleep, but that might just be the fact that focusing my brain on one thing quiets all the background noise.

                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                                  R This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #176

                                  Kinda fucked up, tbh. But I’m really impressed cuz I probably wouldn’t have the guts to do this

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • R [email protected]

                                    I can see true magenta. And it ain't pink.

                                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #177

                                    How do you know?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • A [email protected]

                                      I was once bitten by a kissing bug.

                                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #178

                                      Are you sure you weren't kissed by a biting bug? Bug mouths are usually very small!

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • A [email protected]

                                        Do you mean 99.99% fewer humans?

                                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #179

                                        I'm 99.99% human, .01% secrets.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • R [email protected]

                                          I have no how many people I have killed probably alot wars crazy

                                          sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          sxan@midwest.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #180

                                          Bullets or bombs?

                                          R 1 Reply Last reply
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