New parent. Just had some questions
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He WILL make you mad and angry
I signed away my right to shake'em unfortunately. I just channel it all into making 3am digeridoo noises
Also because death by shaken baby syndrome is unfortunately a very common thing
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Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
wrote last edited by [email protected]At this age, there won’t really be any interaction from their side. They will only really start interacting after about 6 months or so. Just give them food, sleep and a lot of love.
The most important thing you can give your son now, and forever more is pure love.
Stop trying to focus on their head for now. Just focus on their heart. Teach them that they are loved unconditionally.
Everything else will sort itself out.
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Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
TL;DR Check if they have full neck mobility and didn't get too strained in the birth (if natural), and if they have a tongue tie sooner rather than later.
https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/feeding-your-baby-or-toddler/tongue-tie-babies
Loads of other advice here and falling sleep on the breast sounds like a comfort thing but I'll share some recent experience on feeding issues just in case.
Baby had a mild tongue tie, fed on the breast the first few feeds weirdly enough but after then they would get frustrated as they couldn't latch properly.
We had a lot of luck with silicone nipple shields as instructed by the midwife, which helped with latching but no luck retiring them, so they became permanent for a while (they're recommended as temporary).
Even after that we still experienced a lot of fussing and stress with feeding which put a lot of pressure on my SO for the same reasons you mention.
Doctor recommended we go to an osteopath to get their neck and back massaged because getting squeezed out during birth had put a lot of pressure on the neck and restricted turning the head which also caused feeding issues. After this their tongue was a lot more mobile and feeding got a lot easier because they use their tongue to support latching.
Unfortunately this was already 2 months in and they were pretty hooked on nipple shields/bottle feeding at this point so they were still stressed about natural breast feeding which felt like it was a lost cause to go back.
Finally after lots of back and forth with different opinions from medical professionals, lactation consultants etc the agreement was that the baby had a mild tongue tie and we decided to get the frenulum cut/lasered which gave more tongue mobility but at this point the baby seems to have forgotten that milk comes from the breast so after almost 5 months we have just stuck with bottle feeding and pumping.
I'd suggest ruling these out ASAP as it was pretty stressful and especially left my SO with feelings of inadequacy not being able to breastfeed. Hope it helps.
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Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
It's normal, at the beginning they're just machines that transform milk into piss and shit. That will change, you'll get your share of having to entertain your kid.
As for the breastfeeding, she has to persevere (if she wants to, that is), there's nothing else to do. If you've checked that there are no physical issues preventing the breastfeeding, there's literally no other way to make it a habit. This is new not only for the mother, but for the kid as well. No one likes changes, especially if it's literally the first big change of your life. There's some getting used to for all sides.
As for the anxiousness, I don't think I've met a woman who thinks she's doing okay during the first weeks. All of them were in fact doing very well, but reality and our perception of it don't often go hand in hand. The hormone amounts doing stuff in her body right now are massive, she's gonna be a little crazy for the first ~6 weeks. And your reassurances do help, just don't expect miracles, she simply knows she's doing it wrong.
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Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
When my 1st child was born all she did was sleep. Like 18hrs or more a day. We took her to the pediatrician because we thought something was wrong. He literally laughed at us and said enjoy it while it lasts. He was right. That sleep stage only lasted a few weeks. After that the child never slept again. 11 years later and she is still awake.
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Kid has a penis and is 1wk old. I feel like the day to day right now is just making sure he's not sitting in his own piss/shit and feeding him until he passes out every 2-3 hrs. He's 1wk old so I don't know when I'm supposed to start stimulating him, but there's very little awake time that isn't either "I'm sitting in my own peepoo"..."my ping pong sized stomach is empty"...or just crying for whatever reason other than the first two. It seems every time he feeds, he conks out until the next feeding/diaper change so I take great pride in creating a tit milk drunk baby that passes tfo (pumping only *will explain below). We put him on his stomach to piss him off and develop some neck/back muscles every now and then when he's not full of my wife's liquid gold. I sing to him (I'm a vocalist/amateur musician sort of) when I'm doing the war crime of changing or swaddling (I roll tight burritos) but that's about it. Mild case of jaundice but rebounded hard after we started pumping/bottle feeding. Most likely related to not getting enough food. See *
I come from a moderately high performing family (doctors/stem professionals and such) so theres a lot of pressure to make sure this kid isnt a dipshit. I'm playing all kinds of music while he sleeps (doesn't seem to be affected by noise while sleeping) but I can't teach the kid math until he at least understands object permanence right? I also feel like all that classical music Montessori stuff isbcomplete horseshit and I'm much more concerned with just making sure the kid is a good person but I also want onto pull the right levers and flip the right switches where I can.
The bottom line is: Am I doing it wrong or is this it for a while until he can stay awake while changed and fed? Is it normal? I feel like I'm just drugging a child to sleep. Looking for any input. Thanks.
Also, if there's any words of wisdom for my anxious wife (see *) that would be helpful. She's struggling with the whole breast feeding issue even though she's creating a massive surplus at day 7 and we've only supplemented with formula for 3 feeds total. I'm super proud of her for pushing through cracked sensitive nips and I'm stoked that this kid is getting anything natural but she feels like a failure for not direct feeding which i guess i understand is "ideal" but shes killing it pumping. My reassurances don't seem to comfort her unfortunately
*Kid falls asleep 1min after he latches without fail and my wife is super anxious about not breast feeding but she pumps out a surplus of milk. He wasnt getting enough sustenance after birth but he's ravenous on the bottle. 2-4 oz every feed maybe 2.50z average.
Edit: my biggest gripe is that I'm killing 24/7 and this kid has literally no sense of humor. I was hoping for paternal instinct but all I got was killer dad jokes.
At this stage, truly and seriously be glad and grateful for those long sleeps and naps.
I had a ton of trouble with milk, and my baby had absolutely no interest in latching, so we did bottles supplemented with formula from day 1. There's a perk to using the bottle, in that you, the non-nursing partner get that good 1 on 1 feeding time too. Mama can sleep and pump on her schedule, not baby's. Consider it a blessing. If kiddo is feeding and gaining weight, you're doing it right. As others said, fed is best.
For the first four months babies are basically Sims with four "needs" bars. They cry if they're hungry, need to burp or their tummy is upset, if they're lonely or if they're dirty. They make pretty distinct faces and signals you can follow to see what they need, and you'll get to know your kid and what those signals look like.
As far as having a smart kiddo, I recommend you try teaching them simple sign language. We started teaching our kid signs for things when he was about 5 months old, like "more", "hungry", "thirsty" etc and he picked up on it and started using his own signs and sounds to communicate with us when he was about 8-10 months old. It was invaluable to be able to understand and communicate with him and helped us bond and build trust very early.
There's a lot of guff and hot air about how to make your baby smarter, but one thing that's been consistently proven to give positive results is reading to them. Read to them from day 1 whenever you have the opportunity. Its good bonding time and they learn so much from hearing an illustrated story. My kid and I used to play "find the x" style games with the pictures on the page and he showed me he knew what an armadillo was, or a combine harvester was before he was 2, because he could point to the appropriate pictures. I never dumbed down or lessen my vocabulary with him either, and he's proven that he's a sponge for words.
Book recommendations:
How to speak so children will listen, and how to listen so children will speak. Some parts are dated but there are some extremely valuable tips and ideas in there too
Precious Little Sleep, Zubief, it's a very relatable read for helping sleep train your baby when you get to that point.
