Would you become romantically involved with someone with vastly different religious views?

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Ouch. That does seem complicated. I wish you luck!

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I'm an atheist. I dated a woman once who believed in spirits. I think she experienced night terrors among other things and interpreted them as supernatural phenomena. It didn't cause problems then but I was a lot younger and I think now I'm less tolerant of that sort of thing. But who knows - I was crazy about her so maybe if I meet a woman I'm crazy about like that again then I'll tolerate anything.

More recently I've dated people who believe in a vague sort of life after death but never someone who practiced any religion. I think I would immediately rule out practicing religious people if I were going through a list (as when dating online) but if I met someone in person, really liked her, and then found out she was religious then I'm not sure what I would do. It would definitely be off-putting.

The problem for me isn't the lifestyle differences but rather my impression that religious people are missing the point about the basic nature of existence, when it really should be obvious. It makes me feel like I'm patronizing them, because to be frank I don't tend to think of them as my intellectual equals. (And I know that makes me sound like a pompous jerk.)

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Would you turn someone down for believing in heaven/hell/etc alone?

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There's already several comments saying "depends on the beliefs and how important they are," and obviously there's that.

I'll add that there are beliefs people don't immediately think of when talking about religion. There's religious humanism, which is a secular religion based around behaving ethically which also has a bunch of traditions similar to spiritually-based religions, minus the spirituality. Adherents (can) attend church and hear sermons on ways to be a better person, etc.

I'm not a religious humanist but they sound like they're probably decent enough people. They're quite different to my generic fediverse atheist/irreligious views, in the sense that I don't have any desire to attend congregations of people who identify as religiously ethical, but I don't harbor any strong objections to their beliefs.

Personally, I understand it more as something that might be nice for people who have left spiritual religion but still want the trappings of a place to go and be with a community of like-minded people, but that's not my experience. Ultimately, that's probably about as far as I'd be comfortable, where we have roughly equivalent spiritual views but highly divergent religious views.

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I'll chime in myself here. Am an atheist, have dated hard core Christian women, Wiccans, and atheists. I've found that religion didn't actively impact the relationship until it spilled over into daily life that my partner required I take part in. I actually really enjoyed religious history conversations with my more moderate partners. It started to break down when it was "shut up no debate this is how it is" and those are the relationships that ended badly.

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Thank you for this insight! I had no idea myself

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Atheist. In general I don't have a problem with religion, as long as it doesn't get uncomfortable. By that I mean stuff like forcing or forbidding me to do stuff. Not believing in basic science is a hard no as well.

But I feel like that's a problem that only part of the world has. Christianity in the U.S is a fucking cult. I don't think I could date anyone from that hardcore believe system. I'm from germany andI am yet to meet a christian that believe in the bullshit parts. Like believing in what the bible says alone is fucking weird to me and pretty much novody exeptfor hardcores does that here.

So I'd say for methe line is at "cult" level

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I think the biggest problem is when one partner believes that the other is condemned for eternity in some way (not just a hell, but also other forms like reincarnation to a lower state or anything else deemed bad)...and either they spend the relationship trying to change the other person and probably ruining it, or worse, they accept that fate for someone they claim to love.

As an atheist, I don't have that concern that my loved one is doomed to torment somehow, I just have the here and now to try and make their life with me as pleasant as I can. There is the issue of whether or not an atheist could live with someone whose rational is governed by beliefs that affect their judgement, either like mentioned above trying to convert them for their sake, or in other ways where religion steers them vs. having their own thoughts. But for what I think is a large majority, religious people mostly go through the motions if any just to fill some subconscious uncertainty and it's not enough to threaten a relationship with a differing viewpoint.

The human brain is very good at compartmentalizing things to help us get through the day.

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Marry me

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My wife was a freeform muslim when we met and we learned a lot from each other, then again she's a very flexible and tolerant being. I was and still am pretty much agnostic I guess. No strong opinion... no horse in the cosmic race

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I'm atheist, and my partner was Muslim when I first knew her.

People say it doesn't mater - but honestly it really fucking does.

Imagine being in relationship with someone who never really left North Korea, deep down. There's so much fear, so much fear-driven obedience, and so much fear-driven defense of the indefensible.

I never really understood the concept of freedom of conscience until I was arguing with one of her friends about Amina Lawal, the Nigerian woman sentenced to death by stoning for adultery - with her sentence delayed until her baby was weaned. Despite being really very progressive at heart, my partner ended up arguing in favour of it - and then later on was seriously pissed off at me for making her defend that.

She ended up deconverting several years later (certainly not at my behest), and things got immeasurably better from then on.

But that's not a possibility I'd recommend banking on. My honest advice is just don't go there, it's far more stressful than you think it is.

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Yea I kinda get the same feeling. Although for a lot of people their religion does not preclude the acceptation/understanding of a physical world, it's a more of set of rites that they inherited and that's part of their identity. There's plenty of religious people who are scientists. For some, I imagine it may be difficult to reconcile.

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who needs tinder when there's lemmy ?

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Yea I suppose if you consider your significant other to be a filthy kuffar doomed to wade through lava for the rest of time.... that relationship is going to be a ride

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Best way to find a boyfriend who knoes his way around Linux

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Damn that is hardcore

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Atheist, married to a Buddhist. He prays daily and has his rituals.

Made it clear from the start that I'm ok with religion as long as they don't try to convert me or harm others.

Aside some dietary requirements, it works quite well. Married for 9 years now.

This works quite well for us, but results and experience may differ based on religion, patience and personal beliefs. I imagine I might have a hard time dating a religious zealot though.

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Probably not, but that entirely depends on what Religion is for Them. If Religion is only something that they themselves belief in and practice I dont really have a problem with it. If they however use their religious views to suppress others (e.g. trying to talk someone out of having an abortion because "pro life") that's an absolute no go for myself.

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My therapist once told me he believed that aliens had been in communication with the US government since the Reagan administration and I had to think about how I wanted to react to that for a little bit. He was an incredibly helpful therapist, but I considered that fucking nuts. I totally agree that aliens likely exist in some fashion, just as a result of probability, but I don’t think they’re here or in secret communication with humans. My therapist thinking they were made me doubt his judgment in other areas. In the end, I decided that he could have a blind spot about aliens and still be an effective therapist.

I’m not religious, and though I absolutely respect and am almost jealous of the ritual/communal aspect of religion, I honestly think people who really believe in it are a bit deluded, which feels pretty judgmental and shitty of me. My attitude towards religious people has become a lot more open over time though- I was a stereotypical 15 year old atheist shithead in my catholic high school- so I can imagine that eventually I won’t feel at all condescending about it.

I don’t think I would have been at all bothered if my therapist was religious (depending on the religion), but I would not be able to be in a relationship with someone who was. Weirdly, I think I’d be more accepting of a partner believing in aliens. I guess I care more about a shared understanding of the universe with a partner and more about critical thinking skills from a therapist, lol.

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Atheist. I'm quite relaxed about it as long as I don't have to take part in the silly rituals. I've dated a lot of picky eaters so I'm okay with not having bacon at home or whatever your dietary restrictions may be.

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Would you become romantically involved with someone with vastly different religious views?