Oh god

[unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de]

A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil

[trslim@pawb.social]

My husband? Normal day.

[tigeroovy@lemmy.ca]

Okay but it doesn’t specify entirely up your ass, just up your ass. So a Bo staff wouldn’t be that bad, it’s smooth at least.

[banazir@lemmy.ml]

Well shit, I guess I have to re-enact 1 man 1 jar...

[gnutrino@programming.dev]

Right? I had a fresh mug of coffee to the left of me when I read it, feels like the scalding alone would make that worse than a bo staff without even getting into the damage a shattering mug could do.

[venus_ziegenfalle@feddit.org]

[gnutrino@programming.dev]

I reckon you could manage a towel with a bit of lube and some sort of stick to help it on its way.

I believe in you, you've got this.

[kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works]

Well looks like u got the best option

[rushlana@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

I only have a table to my left...
Well this is gonna hurt.

[zozano@aussie.zone]

The first time I saw this post: sunglasses

The second time: 375mL can of beer.

The third time: my cat.

[hadriscus@lemm.ee]

Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one

[peoplebeproblems@midwest.social]

A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?

[etterra@discuss.online]

My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.

[kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works]

Depends on how you shove him tho.........as long as your fiance is a man

[taiyang@lemmy.world]

Idk how to interpret this when I read it while laying on my right side. What's on my left... the sun?

[kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works]

You sleeping on a park bench?

[arrow74@lemm.ee]

My couch is the only object on my left

[diemartin@sh.itjust.works]

Either my 10in tablet, or my huge ashtray bowl

[blujay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

Not sure how a television is gonna fit, but here we go

[fourwaveforms@lemm.ee]

No you've got it mixed up, he's a-pitchin'.