You guys have any conversation starters to offer a poor lemming?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
'Ave you seen that ludicrous display last night?
(apologies, I don't like talking to people)
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Im terrible with small talk. I recently just got a customer facing job, which I had been trying to avoid, and it has honestly helped me a lot. I think like some others have said, conversation is a skill. The more you do it, the better you get. Here is an actual tip though - if you just let people yap about themselves, they will love you for it. I get tons of compliments on my customer service because people love talking about themselves and I don't interrupt.
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That's the third most autistic thing I've read on Lemmy today.
What was the fourth?
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One time conversation or just chatting whenever?
Was the Australopithicus revived in our time, or am I transported to its time?
You said "talk to ". Will either of them intelligibly respond?
You have a universal translator. They're as intelligent as they are/were in real life
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Just check yourself against accidental sexism/intimidation, because I'm sure no lemming would do it on purpose, and rephrase if necessary.
'That's the third best t-shift I've ever seen! I MUST have it!', or what how could you picture if being said wrong?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Make an observation, any observation, and say something about it. You'll find that it's fun talking to randos even for just a few words. Like if you say "This line is long." And they just grunt.
And about silly things. I was at a restaurant and, as listed in the menu, they has a "boneless chicken pot pie". So I asked the waitress if I coukd have the chicken bone in. Silly things like that.
Hope that helps
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Make an observation, any observation, and say something about it. You'll find that it's fun talking to randos even for just a few words. Like if you say "This line is long." And they just grunt.
And about silly things. I was at a restaurant and, as listed in the menu, they has a "boneless chicken pot pie". So I asked the waitress if I coukd have the chicken bone in. Silly things like that.
Hope that helps
IT GOTTA HAVE THE BONES
I WILL TAKE NOTHIN LESS -
This is an old post i saved for this kind of moment so here ya go.
About 6 or 7 years ago my college roommate told me: Conversation isn’t something any one person is good or bad at, it’s a skill like anything else. Everything changed once I thought about it like this.
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The more new people you talk to the easier it is. Especially the opposite sex.
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Everyone else has their own anxieties and fears. They’re just better at hiding it or masking it than you. Use this to your advantage to point out things you have in common and relate to them.
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When someone talks, LISTEN. Don’t worry about your posture, your dog, your clothing. Listen to them. If you don’t understand something, stop them and ask. Engage with them. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know.
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Ask open ended questions. Don’t ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead ask “What was the best part about your day?” “What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about your job?” Make them feel important. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So do you. Take that feeling and shove it way down. When they ask about you, that’s your turn to shine. If they don’t, you don’t really want to be friends anyway.
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Never one-up people. Even if you are way better, or know way more than the person talking to you, build them up.
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If someone is telling a story or saying something and they get cut off, find the next opportunity to bring them back in. “Hey, _______ you were talking about X, what did you want to say?”
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Laugh at their jokes. Laugh at your jokes. We’re all weird brains walking around in these skin things. Don’t take it so seriously.
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You will remember your mistakes WAY more than anyone else. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
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My last and 2nd most important tip. Start every conversation with a compliment. I don’t care if they’re a dude and you’re straight as fuck. I don’t care if they’re mean, evil to you, or disagree with you politically in every way. Find something about the way they look, and compliment it. Someone did this to me once when I was a new guest at someone’s apartment. “Hey man, that’s an awesome jacket, where’d you get it?” I fucking loved that jacket. And I was self conscious about it. I felt instantly at home.
Take the things you like, and be that person for someone else. If you’re on a date, be genuinely interested in that person.
These are things that worked for me. Find your own style.
The #1 tip!! Go into EVERY room as if people will like you. Seriously. Walk through any door, in front of any group of people and smile. They. Will. Like you. Keep that in the front of your mind and you will enjoy conversations with anyone.
Honestly some grade A advice!
Im definitely stealing this
No take back!!
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Greetings fellow humans! have you consumed your daily complex carbohydrates and proteins today, and consumed a liquid with a organic suspension of the extracts from the plants coffea arabica.
He speaks of the dirty bean water!
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I've got something for you guys...
reach into coat pocket
hold up thumb with a sight tremour
... a good time!
grimace while trying to smile
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'Ave you seen that ludicrous display last night?
(apologies, I don't like talking to people)
That's the thing about Arsenal
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'That's the third best t-shift I've ever seen! I MUST have it!', or what how could you picture if being said wrong?
wrote last edited by [email protected]"I must have it!" or "where can I get one?" is a good addition, makes it clear you're paying attention to the shirt, not what's under it.
(Edit to add, the same words can come off different depending on who's talking to whom. For example, a guy compliments another guy's new shoes and adds, "I bet you can run really fast in those!" It's a funny nostalgic meme reference. The same sentence to a random girl, she's starting to wonder if she'll be running from him....)
I know you're following up on previous comments but to me, adding "third" feels a bit clickbaity, and also a bit backhanded, like you're starting an argument rather than a conversation.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
"Did you see that guy on a horse go by? Yeah, it was just a guy riding by on a horse."
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
He was sitting on the deck.
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Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
He was sitting on the deck.
hearty pirate laughter
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
charlie kirk is right.
women shouldn't have a choice.
voting should be restricted to men and property owners.
you didn't say what you wanted the outcome of the conversations to be, nor the volume they should be had at.
I can guarantee you will have a reaction to the above.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Not a great lead itself, but a useful poke a hippy at a festival taught me when the opening conversation starts to fizzle out a bit: "what do you want to tell me? It can be anything at all, take a moment to think about it." Then sit with the silence a bit (don't stare at them, let them think).
Some people will tell you some wild shit and/or open up like crazy if given this invitation. The person who used it on me got my whole life story, shit I was trying to work through by (in part) being there in the first place, etc. The last person who I did this with told me some defining moments in the development of their politics and worldview.
Create comfort, give an open invitation and a little space, and you'd be surprised how quickly you might move from small talk to more substantial stuff. Recommend everyone try it once just to see what the outcome is, so far it's been pretty neat.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]My favorite conversation starter works great in college but also everywhere else! But you have to actually be interested in the answer, whatever it may be.
“So, what have you learned or learned about recently, say in the last 6 months, that you found particularly interesting, and what about it is interesting to you?”
They usually ask for some sort of clarification because nobody starts conversations this way, and I frequently have to emphasize that I want to know what they found interesting, not what they think I will find interesting.. But if they have anything to talk about, you’ll hear it, very quickly. Saves a ton of time with small talk (I’m low-masking autistic; small talk is pain)
One of my favorites was some random old guy at a bar who designed the machines for making trash bags. He told me about some new design quirk he’d come across that was going to improve the machines, and he was very pleased to tell me all about how it worked and could be implemented.
It also weeds out boring people who legit have nothing other than themselves to talk about, like the people who try to explain sports or something.. if that’s really what they are into, cool, but they never choose interesting deep info, just basic superficial stuff. Those conversations never go anywhere, but at least I didn’t waste much time!
This also works with friends you’ve had for ages! It’s a great “I have nothing to talk about but I’m bored and want to talk to you” sort of thing.
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This is an old post i saved for this kind of moment so here ya go.
About 6 or 7 years ago my college roommate told me: Conversation isn’t something any one person is good or bad at, it’s a skill like anything else. Everything changed once I thought about it like this.
-
The more new people you talk to the easier it is. Especially the opposite sex.
-
Everyone else has their own anxieties and fears. They’re just better at hiding it or masking it than you. Use this to your advantage to point out things you have in common and relate to them.
-
When someone talks, LISTEN. Don’t worry about your posture, your dog, your clothing. Listen to them. If you don’t understand something, stop them and ask. Engage with them. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know.
-
Ask open ended questions. Don’t ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead ask “What was the best part about your day?” “What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about your job?” Make them feel important. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So do you. Take that feeling and shove it way down. When they ask about you, that’s your turn to shine. If they don’t, you don’t really want to be friends anyway.
-
Never one-up people. Even if you are way better, or know way more than the person talking to you, build them up.
-
If someone is telling a story or saying something and they get cut off, find the next opportunity to bring them back in. “Hey, _______ you were talking about X, what did you want to say?”
-
Laugh at their jokes. Laugh at your jokes. We’re all weird brains walking around in these skin things. Don’t take it so seriously.
-
You will remember your mistakes WAY more than anyone else. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
-
My last and 2nd most important tip. Start every conversation with a compliment. I don’t care if they’re a dude and you’re straight as fuck. I don’t care if they’re mean, evil to you, or disagree with you politically in every way. Find something about the way they look, and compliment it. Someone did this to me once when I was a new guest at someone’s apartment. “Hey man, that’s an awesome jacket, where’d you get it?” I fucking loved that jacket. And I was self conscious about it. I felt instantly at home.
Take the things you like, and be that person for someone else. If you’re on a date, be genuinely interested in that person.
These are things that worked for me. Find your own style.
The #1 tip!! Go into EVERY room as if people will like you. Seriously. Walk through any door, in front of any group of people and smile. They. Will. Like you. Keep that in the front of your mind and you will enjoy conversations with anyone.
As someone who used to be terrible at socializing but had to learn because I'm an extrovert you've more or less summed it up.
Charisma is real and it's a factor, but it's more like having a good voice and natural presence for public speaking rather than the skills to confront stage fright, properly comport yourself on stage, and work with an audience. A person with 0 interpersonal charisma may never be making a living off socialization, but if they build skills they can easily be well liked and have plenty of friends and a partner. Meanwhile a person with a ton of charisma and no social skills is going to have a hard time keeping people around.
But yeah, practice, practice, practice. And as someone else said, benign comments are great tools. "Some weather we've been having", complimenting something someone is wearing especially if it's bold (as someone who likes bold looks "that [thing] is bold and you make it work" is great), or even "ugh this is way too [early/late/midday] for this [everyday bullshit]
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