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I was never planning on calling ICE. I was asking because if she were to take me to court, I would tell her to take a DNA test (My friend told me she needs to have citizenship for that or else she can't collect). I'm sorry if this is a short response, I'm currently at work with limited time to respond. I kmow It's fucked up, I know, but I would never do that to her ever. Not at all my intention. I was really in love with her at first before she made that joke. I wrote her a 3 page letter, played guitar anf sang for her, etc. which had a part in her wanting to "stay" with me I believe. It was also my first time going all the way, so when she said that, I literally freaked out inside and didn't know what to do. This is also my first date ever.
EDIT: Just got out of work, I read the rest of your comment. Thank you for the support because it really did mess me up badly, I should probably go see a therapist. I was in complete stress for 3 months until that other coworker told me that he saw her down the street (she lives by work) and said she's not pregnant. This is from a coworker I trust.
No one said you were planning on calling ICE.
It’s just something that gets said in general, because fuck ICE.
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No one said you were planning on calling ICE.
It’s just something that gets said in general, because fuck ICE.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Oh, okay, I understand.
Fuck ICE.
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This girl's the dirtbag. NTA in my book. Holy cow what a ride you were forced upon....
Edit: Now that I think about it, I wonder if there's an AITA thing on Lemmy. If not, I'd be happy to make that.
I don't know, if only it didn't attract all kinds of creative writers and compulsive liars, in search of sympathy and sweet sweet upvotes...
"I kicked my son out and disowned him because he didn't like my ketchup ranch lasagna AITA" -
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You were wrong for having a relationship with a coworker. Don't shit where you eat as they say. I would avoid any girls like this. removed the condom. wtf. I would assume she was inviting anal at that point.
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This really freaked me out because on the first time we had sex, she took off my condom without permission and then said, when I didn’t want to go all the way, “You don’t trust me?”
Biggest red flag right there. If you say no and she pressures you, that's more or less sexual assault.
The rest of her behaviour does not sound remotely healthy. It sounds like she was playing your emotions for whatever reason; with the hang ups, not answering, deflecting everything, etc.
You dodged a bullet.
Given the horrific treatment it's more like the bullet grazed them. What a fucked up thing to experience.
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You were wrong for having a relationship with a coworker. Don't shit where you eat as they say. I would avoid any girls like this. removed the condom. wtf. I would assume she was inviting anal at that point.
Trust me, I learned my lesson. I am never doing that again.
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Nta, and not shaming you at all op—I was twenty once too—this go for everyone that needs to read it: when someone tells you they're 'toxic', believe it (and fucking run).
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NTA - if someone describes themself as toxic and then goes on to exhibit extremely toxic behaviour, save yourself the pain and get rid.
PS, removing a condom during sex without permission is a form of rape.
I was with you until the condom rape. It isn’t right, but rape? Seriously? How many years in jail for condom raping?
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The only line I’m confused about is “she didn’t text you for the entire day”
So she was taking a day… so?
Am I missing something there?
Other than that, taking off the condom without permission is not cool. But why didn’t you stop the interaction at that point? Did she have you tied down or restrained where you couldn’t stop her? What prevented you from stopping things?
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The only line I’m confused about is “she didn’t text you for the entire day”
So she was taking a day… so?
Am I missing something there?
Other than that, taking off the condom without permission is not cool. But why didn’t you stop the interaction at that point? Did she have you tied down or restrained where you couldn’t stop her? What prevented you from stopping things?
wrote last edited by [email protected]She didn't text me the entire day on the same day we were supposed to go on our date. I was also drunk when she took it off. Sorry for not clarifiying that.
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I was with you until the condom rape. It isn’t right, but rape? Seriously? How many years in jail for condom raping?
His conditions for sex required a condom. When she removed it, she lost consent.
Would you feel differently about it if a man secretly removed his own condom and put his load in an unknowing woman?
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Yeah. I like the concept, but half of the ones I saw on Reddit were obviously bullshit written by teenagers who think that real life plays out like movies.
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Everyone sucks here.
she took off my condom without permission
Removing a condom without consent during sex is sexual assault. You're absolutely right to break off a relationship or go no-contact for this. In many jurisdictions, you could press criminal charges.
I even called an old coworker to ask if she had her citizenship because I was trying to avoid child support.
That's not OK even if you're very scared.
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She didn't text me the entire day on the same day we were supposed to go on our date. I was also drunk when she took it off. Sorry for not clarifiying that.
Thank you for the clarification.
I actually have no input on it. beyond the items I have already said because I haven’t dated since about 2005 or four.
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NTA it sounds like she has a very poor sense of humor and doesn't care who she hurts. Taking of a condom without your partner's consent is extremely f-ed up. It's a form of SA.
The only thing you did that rubs me the wrong way is asking about her citizenship as leverage. I understand you were acting out of fear due to a situation she created. Still though, it's pretty scary to be Latin right now and even more so if you're not a citizen. Still nta.
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NTA it sounds like she has a very poor sense of humor and doesn't care who she hurts. Taking of a condom without your partner's consent is extremely f-ed up. It's a form of SA.
The only thing you did that rubs me the wrong way is asking about her citizenship as leverage. I understand you were acting out of fear due to a situation she created. Still though, it's pretty scary to be Latin right now and even more so if you're not a citizen. Still nta.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Totally understand. I just felt like I couldn't trust her even if she said no or yes, and I don't believe she would've taken a pregancy test. She also kept holding me up on dates for about 4 weeks after what she said, then I told her I wanted to break up. She still was trying to get back with me but I was intentionally screwing things up to get her to leave. I was really scared of her after that moment, which is why I tried to seek external help from that coworker. My mind was looking for an escape at that time because I was thinking about suicide. It's a very terrible situation and I hope you can understand where I was at the time. (Still not okay, but I just couldn't handle the stress)
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His conditions for sex required a condom. When she removed it, she lost consent.
Would you feel differently about it if a man secretly removed his own condom and put his load in an unknowing woman?
That's exactly what Julian Assange did, and half the internet defends the shit out of him.
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Totally understand. I just felt like I couldn't trust her even if she said no or yes, and I don't believe she would've taken a pregancy test. She also kept holding me up on dates for about 4 weeks after what she said, then I told her I wanted to break up. She still was trying to get back with me but I was intentionally screwing things up to get her to leave. I was really scared of her after that moment, which is why I tried to seek external help from that coworker. My mind was looking for an escape at that time because I was thinking about suicide. It's a very terrible situation and I hope you can understand where I was at the time. (Still not okay, but I just couldn't handle the stress)
Like I said, you are nta in the situation. She put you in a horrible, life threatening situation. You acted out of fear and you did no harm. I just think it's important to recognize the harm that could have been done. Consider it a lesson learned and an opportunity to move forward as a wiser, and perhaps stronger person. Sending you love.
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You both sound like complete assholes her behavior is completely inappropriate as is your "citizenship" nonsense to "avoid child support" is also completely toxic.
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She raped you and then joked about exploiting you and a child for money.
NTA
