How to talk some sense into my daughter regarding a scam university?
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Sounds like this might go well beyond a university choice at this point. Sorry.
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And my daughter is sooo obsessed with him. She takes everything he says at face value. Like saying “if daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore I’ll just find a man to take care of me the way daddy does” - basically a variation of what my husband told me too. Very flower power carefree energy.
that's not flower power that's just misogyny! your husband has taught your daughter to be misogynistic towards herself. i think you need a long conversation with her, you need to disillusion her from the promises of "simplicity" of such worldview, because if anything happens to make her less than perfect for "a man like daddy" then she's going to be left helpless and unable to take care of herself in the long run. and even if she finds a man to take care of her - she will be then stuck with him no matter who he turns out to be
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And my daughter is sooo obsessed with him. She takes everything he says at face value. Like saying “if daddy couldn’t take care of me anymore I’ll just find a man to take care of me the way daddy does” - basically a variation of what my husband told me too. Very flower power carefree energy.
This is the problem, not the university.
Perhaps you could talk to your husband about how she is being set up to to be completely dependent on some man who may abuse her and she will be unable to independent escape.
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Does your diploma come with gold embossed lettering and a red stamp? If so I'm in.
It does now
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Seems like you to talk some sense into your husband first. There's no point in saying "this is stupid" while acting "I'll support you unconditionally".
Ideally you'd discourage her in this decission and not support her financially. If she really wants to do it, she can pay for it herself. There is not much you can do about that, except discourage it. But you can't do that as parents unless you're both on the same page.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
wrote last edited by [email protected]how did she get this idea into her head in the first place?
one of the worst life ruining decisions a student can make is to rack up student debt, with no means to pay it off after graduation.
look at graduation statistics if they publish it. what is the employment rate and median salary of graduates?
Is the total cost comparable to the median starting salary?
if taking sense into ur daughter isn't possible, then maybe reason with ur husband based on finances?
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Lmao, let her go, it'll be hilarious. You lot sound like real fun.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Sounds like your husband might be a prick.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
It sounds like you should have started intervening in this situation YEARS ago. Now it's coming to a head and you don't have any influence at all, because you didn't claim your role in this family when you should have. Now it's too late.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
100% agree this is a conversion with your husband. From the comments, what even is the point of her going to any college if theres a chance shell just drop out and stick you with debt and nothing to show for it?
What I will say that diverges from most others is that while this school might be a scam, this aspect of the "wellness industry" has existed for millennia. Interest in holistic whatever isn't exactly a career death sentence. Your daughter might very well make good money selling herbs and crystals to wealthy white ladies.
IMO, this is a conversion with your husband and then daughter asking her to sell you all on why she's going to college and for what. With the alternative being charging her rent or something else intended to have her leave the nest. She likely sees this school as having no accountability because as long as the checks clear, she'll be enrolled.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Check how they got their accreditation. It's possible to just buy a struggling accredited school these days and just keep their accreditation and completely change the curriculum.
Also ask them for employment and income statistics of their graduates. If they don't have them that's a red flag you can bring up.
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
Wow, you married that kind of person?
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100% agree this is a conversion with your husband. From the comments, what even is the point of her going to any college if theres a chance shell just drop out and stick you with debt and nothing to show for it?
What I will say that diverges from most others is that while this school might be a scam, this aspect of the "wellness industry" has existed for millennia. Interest in holistic whatever isn't exactly a career death sentence. Your daughter might very well make good money selling herbs and crystals to wealthy white ladies.
IMO, this is a conversion with your husband and then daughter asking her to sell you all on why she's going to college and for what. With the alternative being charging her rent or something else intended to have her leave the nest. She likely sees this school as having no accountability because as long as the checks clear, she'll be enrolled.
There won’t be any debt. As I mentioned, husband is paying in full for college.
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I almost fell for something similar. Right before enrolling I decided to go on a deeper dive and I found ample evidence of it being a diploma mill without any value whatsoever. Saved me a lot of grief.
Dude two of the colleges I toured when I was a high schooler ended up shutting down and losing their accreditation. Only reason I didn't attend either of them was my parents told me they were too expensive and I was just a high schooler with zero concept of money who had yet to work at all (and honestly I had a bunch of other contributing problems but that's well outside of the scope of this discussion)
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There won’t be any debt. As I mentioned, husband is paying in full for college.
OK, but so he's basically paying for adult day care if she quits before graduating?
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Lmao, let her go, it'll be hilarious. You lot sound like real fun.
Always validating to see users live up to the tag I gave them
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The craziest part is that when I talk to him about it, he says he’d agree with me if our daughter was a son; but since she’s a girl what she studies/does professionally isn’t important as she should just do what she loves since “she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
"she can just find a good husband to take care of her”.
He is still wrong then. He is about a thousand years too late with this view.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
Just let her attend. Pseudoscientific quackery, along with an elevated ego, lack of self-doubt, and the backup of a rich parent, are a certain way to make a whole fuckload of money.
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100% agree this is a conversion with your husband. From the comments, what even is the point of her going to any college if theres a chance shell just drop out and stick you with debt and nothing to show for it?
What I will say that diverges from most others is that while this school might be a scam, this aspect of the "wellness industry" has existed for millennia. Interest in holistic whatever isn't exactly a career death sentence. Your daughter might very well make good money selling herbs and crystals to wealthy white ladies.
IMO, this is a conversion with your husband and then daughter asking her to sell you all on why she's going to college and for what. With the alternative being charging her rent or something else intended to have her leave the nest. She likely sees this school as having no accountability because as long as the checks clear, she'll be enrolled.
Also you don’t need a degree to sell herbs and crystals.
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My daughter (high school senior) really wants to go to this university next year. She’s a great student, she could easily attend a proper college if she wanted to, but she’s into the whole witchy hippie alternative thing. This college is a legit scam, even sold the main Washington campus due to financial issues this year. Each time I try to have a conversation about the cons with her the line is “daddy will take care of me”. My husband (daddy) always takes her side (will pay her full tuition and everything). She’s the biggest daddy’s girl I’ve ever known, but at this point this is just straight up enabling bad decisions.
What is the highest debt to income ratio?
