Privacy Recommendations for a Young Teen
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Hello there!
First off, good for you for looking out for the privacy of others!
Unfortunately, you can't force privacy onto someone. That has to be a choice the person makes for themself. If you want your teen to live a private life, talk to them about it. Explain the dangers of social media, and don't try to sidestep the issue, just be honest. Avoid trying to "trick" someone into privacy, because that leads to bad outcomes down the road.
Using GrapheneOS is your best bet for a private phone. If you want to maintain some control over the device, have your teen use a secondary profile and restrict which apps can be installed using the owner profile that only you have access to. This also adds the benefit of being able to restrict access to the device (if that's your thing) just by restarting it, since the teen won't be able to unlock it. I'm not here to tell you how to be a parent.
Social media I’m not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it’s just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn’t interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities.
I agree with this, and it's currently a downside to less mainstream social media. It will always be tailored to a specific community until it grows or becomes mainstream. If you really want your teen to use only open source apps, Bluesky is a good open source option while still being mainstream.
My parents probably want tracking features so it’ll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360
You can talk with them about alternatives, such as an Airtag or other similar devices, or having no tracking at all. Again, I'm not here to tell you how to parent. One point you can bring up is that it's quite easy to trick those tracking apps (turning off the device, turning off location, turning on Airplane Mode, using a mock location app, etc.) so they aren't very useful.
It’s just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
This is why privacy is a choice. It's up to the person how private they want to be, but the most you can do is educate about privacy and raise some alternatives.
In general, it depends on how much control you want to have over the digital life of your teen. The more control you have, the less autonomy the teen has and the more likely it is that the teen will resent the practices you put in place. However, the less control you have, the higher the risk of bad things happening. It's up to you which path to take. Something I learned is that you can never have total control, because people are crafty, but people are also very understanding and can adapt to their environment.
Hope this helps!
Avoid trying to "trick" someone into privacy, because that leads to bad outcomes down the road.
Privacy is a choice
This is something which is really important. Say whats right!
Great comment reply by you!
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If privacy is your topic, iPhones are out.
You could check /e/OS for example with Fairphone that includes parental control feature.
Your parents do not matter in this context and it would be shameful to use such features.Avoid tracking apps and tracking in apps. Avoid big tech like Meta and use Signal instead. If your child is not willing to do without Tiktok, Insta and so on, you won't prevent. You can only explain. Remember: Divice literacy is not media literacy
Person is in seventh grade the fact their parents want to use parental controls isn't that odd.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
My friends dumbass 12 year old kid was told he wouldn't be given access to any social media until he was at least 16. He claimed he understood, and then proceeded to make an Instagram account with his real name and started sending pervy messages to various insta thott accounts.
Basically as a parent you have to give them access to very limited apps and make them repeatedly demonstrate they won't misuse them. Then as they get older, assuming they don't do anything stupid or illegal, training wheels gradually come off.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
The first and best measures are not only privacy apps, but a good security education, explaining well the risks and a correct use of the mobile. The biggest segurity hole is ignorance. You can't avoid with apps the missuse of the Phone by an teen with nonsense in the head. Establishing a strict Kiosk mode on the mobile is not the right way. A localisation app is of course wise and a good VPN can also be useful.
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If privacy is your topic, iPhones are out.
You could check /e/OS for example with Fairphone that includes parental control feature.
Your parents do not matter in this context and it would be shameful to use such features.Avoid tracking apps and tracking in apps. Avoid big tech like Meta and use Signal instead. If your child is not willing to do without Tiktok, Insta and so on, you won't prevent. You can only explain. Remember: Divice literacy is not media literacy
iOS has a nice default set of privacy respecting apps. iOS isn’t perfect but it’s as close as you can get to having a usable phone while having some sort of privacy.
Android always sends requests to Google. A de-googled phone with no Play Services is too limiting.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
We gave our oldest a basic feature flip-phone when he started Middle School, mainly so he could text and coordinate pickups. In 7th grade, we gave him a smartphone because he was going on a class trip to DC and the kids were encouraged to take pictures and share. At home, we made it a rule that the phone had to be plugged into charger in our bedroom to avoid bedtime disruption.
That same year I created social media accounts for him on every service, mainly to reserve his username. But they were all blocked using parental controls, based on advice from school. We also had software/hardware from Circle (now Aura: https://meetcircle.com/) that blocked access on wifi and cell and capped usage.
In high school, when he turned 16, as part of his birthday gift, we gave him an envelope with his own non-school email account, and all the links and passwords for social media accounts. We also took away all the filter blocks. Figured he was mature enough without feeling left out.
It really worked out well. Later, he asked to put usage limits back on so he would be forced to put it down and go to sleep.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
If you scroll down to where this reply will end up:
Iphone is the right place to start. The parental controls are well thought out and have enough granularity for almost anyone and “find my” works great along with location sharing.
They have a bunch of built in privacy, mental health and use monitoring stuff so the person with the phone can use that themselves too.
It’s the most normal person phone there is so no chance they’ll be embarrassed or feel left out and because the platform is so common (assuming USA because “grades”) you’ll have an easy time coordinating with other parents and sharing how you’re dealing with stuff as they grow.
Good luck.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
Calyx Phone
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Calyx Phone
Also check its features https://www.hmd.com/en_int/hmd-fusion-x1
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iOS has a nice default set of privacy respecting apps. iOS isn’t perfect but it’s as close as you can get to having a usable phone while having some sort of privacy.
Android always sends requests to Google. A de-googled phone with no Play Services is too limiting.
Android always sends requests to Google.
Can you please send references on that?
A de-googled phone with no Play Services is too limiting.
Isn't microG with alternative app stores sufficient for most people?
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
If you're in EU https://murena.com/smartphones/ is a good compromise IMHO.
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Android always sends requests to Google.
Can you please send references on that?
A de-googled phone with no Play Services is too limiting.
Isn't microG with alternative app stores sufficient for most people?
I did not meant fully degoogled androids! Sorry for the confusion. But most people running custom ROMs add Google play support/emulation because most apps use it.
As for microG, since I’m coming from GrapheneOS, I don’t know much about it. Might be a better solution
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If you're in EU https://murena.com/smartphones/ is a good compromise IMHO.
I also have a PinePhone and PinePhone Pro... but I wouldn't (yet) recommend them as daily drivers unless :
- you are REALLY committed to privacy
- don't care much for the camera
- don't need mobile "Apps" and fine using the Web or Linux (which are great) apps
- don't need much battery
- you are eager to tinker.
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So I have a young teen entering 7th grade and so they're about to receive their first phone. With that, it opens a lot of doors to all the big tech social media apps and privacy invasive services.
I'm not sure how to approach this. My parents probably want tracking features so it'll probably be Find My or a 3rd party app like life360 depending on if we choose iphone or degoogled pixel.
Social media I'm not sure if fediverse stuff is the right path especially for lemmy, since it's just tech nerd stuff and politics which isn't interesting really unless they go out of their way to find smaller communities. Their friends will probably force them onto Instagram or some shit and I don't really want them doomscolling on reels, that shit algorithm, and the malicious messaging app built in to it.
It's just kinda hard trying to blend being a functional member of society and maintain your mental well being and privacy.
If your maib concern is soical media / onlinr groups id just say educate them on the dangers not even people but about how the alogrithms they use are built to cause addiction and id also reccomend teaching them basic cybersec stuff like dont click random links how to find scams. etc
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System shared this topic on
