Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Lemmy Shitpost
  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
312 Posts 117 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #28

    Am we up the whimsy levels? Not enough daily, base level, whimsy anymore

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • R [email protected]

      Gender changing potion

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #29

      Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):

      D 1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • P [email protected]

        Why do they have anuses?

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #30

        They're a bit stale

        F 1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • D [email protected]

          Am we up the whimsy levels? Not enough daily, base level, whimsy anymore

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #31

          Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

          D 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
            random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #32

            I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • random_character_a@lemmy.worldR [email protected]

              I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #33

              Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:

              D 1 Reply Last reply
              3
              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                Everyone now owns a jetpack. They are extremely loud and kids often use them without helmets:

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #34

                Births are now even more painful with all the baby's just blasting out of there with their jetpacks

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  _ This user is from outside of this forum
                  _ This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #35

                  A dragon.

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #36

                    A divorce

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                      Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                      E This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #37

                      Let's take her for a test drive!

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                        Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #38

                        Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • _ [email protected]

                          A dragon.

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #39

                          The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.

                          tonava@sopuli.xyzT _ 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • D [email protected]

                            Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #40

                            Everyone is now slightly more whimsical. It's a sillier world to live in:

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #41

                              Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB G 2 Replies Last reply
                              1
                              • B [email protected]

                                Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #42

                                Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                                K 1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #43

                                  I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                    You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers "8 15 26 33 41 9 10". These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have "won" against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:

                                    tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #44

                                    In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                                      In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #45

                                      From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                        This post did not contain any content.
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        T This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #46

                                        Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                          This post did not contain any content.
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #47

                                          I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                          0
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups