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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • P [email protected]

    Why do they have anuses?

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #30

    They're a bit stale

    F 1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • D [email protected]

      Am we up the whimsy levels? Not enough daily, base level, whimsy anymore

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #31

      Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

      D 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
        random_character_a@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #32

        I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • random_character_a@lemmy.worldR [email protected]

          I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #33

          Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:

          D 1 Reply Last reply
          3
          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

            Everyone now owns a jetpack. They are extremely loud and kids often use them without helmets:

            M This user is from outside of this forum
            M This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #34

            Births are now even more painful with all the baby's just blasting out of there with their jetpacks

            1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              _ This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #35

              A dragon.

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                A This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #36

                A divorce

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                  Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

                  E This user is from outside of this forum
                  E This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #37

                  Let's take her for a test drive!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                    Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #38

                    Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • _ [email protected]

                      A dragon.

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #39

                      The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.

                      tonava@sopuli.xyzT _ 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • D [email protected]

                        Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #40

                        Everyone is now slightly more whimsical. It's a sillier world to live in:

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                          This post did not contain any content.
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #41

                          Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB G 2 Replies Last reply
                          1
                          • B [email protected]

                            Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #42

                            Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                            K 1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
                              tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                              tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #43

                              I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers "8 15 26 33 41 9 10". These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have "won" against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:

                                tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #44

                                In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                                  In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #45

                                  From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                    This post did not contain any content.
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #46

                                    Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #47

                                      I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                                        I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #48

                                        You receive a letter in the mail informing you that you have been exposed to high amounts of Monsanto's Roundup Weedkiller, which is highly correlated to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (NHL). Monsanto/Bayer have been ordered to award you a settlement of $10,000,000.0 (or the equivalent in your local currency):

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • T [email protected]

                                          Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #49

                                          Sure, if you play "7 28 27 63 54 25" for the Powerball drawing on Saturday, July 26th, 2025, you will win $7 :

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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