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  3. Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Everybody gets one [choose wisely]

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

    Happy Cake Day. Is this a wish?

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #38

    Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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    • _ [email protected]

      A dragon.

      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #39

      The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.

      tonava@sopuli.xyzT _ 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • D [email protected]

        Thanks, I had no idea, how time flies… I mean yeah 1 birthday wish please

        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #40

        Everyone is now slightly more whimsical. It's a sillier world to live in:

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          B This user is from outside of this forum
          B This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #41

          Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB G 2 Replies Last reply
          1
          • B [email protected]

            Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please

            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #42

            Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

            K 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
              This post did not contain any content.
              tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
              tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #43

              I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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              • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                You will buy a euromillions ticket with the numbers "8 15 26 33 41 9 10". These are the numbers for a previous EuroMillions jackpot, which you have "won" against all odds. Im leben kann Mann nicht alles haben:

                tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                tja@sh.itjust.worksT This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #44

                In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                  In which date was this? Asking for a friend that is a time traveler

                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #45

                  From Tue. July 22 2025 . But your friend is probably already rich and is hiding it from you.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                    T This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #46

                    Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                    balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                      This post did not contain any content.
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #47

                      I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • tja@sh.itjust.worksT [email protected]

                        I would like to have enough money that I don't have to work anymore

                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #48

                        You receive a letter in the mail informing you that you have been exposed to high amounts of Monsanto's Roundup Weedkiller, which is highly correlated to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (NHL). Monsanto/Bayer have been ordered to award you a settlement of $10,000,000.0 (or the equivalent in your local currency):

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • T [email protected]

                          Eh I don't need much just gimme next week’s lottery numbers thx

                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #49

                          Sure, if you play "7 28 27 63 54 25" for the Powerball drawing on Saturday, July 26th, 2025, you will win $7 :

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            Y This user is from outside of this forum
                            Y This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #50

                            While youre at it could you whip me up a post-scarcity fully-automated utopia real quick?

                            balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
                              This post did not contain any content.
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #51

                              boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)

                              balderdash9@lemmy.zipB S 2 Replies Last reply
                              0
                              • S [email protected]

                                I‘d like some getting my shit together and being happy for once to go please.

                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #52

                                You are finally happy--eternally happy. Your neurochemistry is now permanently rewired such that you can no longer feel sadness, fear, or embarrassment. You are always grinning and people start to avoid you:

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • S [email protected]

                                  boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)

                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  balderdash9@lemmy.zipB This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #53

                                  I can only grant you one wish. You'll have to choose between the boyfriend or the money.

                                  cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC S 2 Replies Last reply
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                                  • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                    Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:

                                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    K This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #54

                                    Fuck yeah

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                                      You gotta be more specific man:

                                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                                      K This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #55

                                      That's just slices of bread. It's not a sandwich unless there's something between the slices of bread!

                                      balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • S [email protected]

                                        boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i'm attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #56

                                        Does lemmy have a dating community? If not we need one

                                        B 1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • balderdash9@lemmy.zipB [email protected]
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                                          I This user is from outside of this forum
                                          I This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #57

                                          To go back in time to be myself 15 years ago with all the knowledge and experience I have now.

                                          Otherwise I'd like to be the only one capable of telepathy and reading minds at my will.

                                          balderdash9@lemmy.zipB 1 Reply Last reply
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