[Deleted]

[bonifratz@lemm.ee]

Your list is pretty wild. If you're serious about #2, please talk to a mental health professional if you haven't done so yet. And if you seriously put #4 ahead of, like, cancer or infectious diseases, you should definitely consider leaving for another country.

As for me, I live a relatively normal life in a relatively peaceful environment. I'd put my money on cancer.

[none_dc@lemmy.world]

If I don't die of old age surrounded by my loved ones, I will probably die by firing squad.

[sassyramen@lemmy.world]

Gas station pizza roll? Respect.

[sassyramen@lemmy.world]

Fingers crossed for a bear!

[bezier@suppo.fi]

Possibly the terminal velocity anvil above my

[entwine413@lemm.ee]

Melanoma. I've already had like a dozen pre-cancerous moles removed.

[misterneon@lemmy.world]

1. Cancer.
2. Heart related disease.
3. Exposure to the elements.
4. Shot randomly (American).
5. Hit by vehicle.

[iamthetot@sh.itjust.works]

Suicide is your #2? Murdered specifically by a family member is higher than cancer?

Mate, do you need to talk?

[gerudo@lemm.ee]

I think I got the cancer punch card. Both paternal grandparents, and my dad (unsure about Mom, not in the picture) had cancer. Lost both grandparents and dad is currently undergoing treatment.

Yay.

[motor_spirit@lemmy.world]

some prick in an oversized truck

[kescusay@lemmy.world]

Dude... Go get screened for heart problems right away. You know you have a high likelihood of issues with your heart, so if you tackle them now instead of when they become serious, you up your odds of outliving your grandparents considerably.

[simple@lemm.ee]

I'll probably slip on a banana peel right down the stairs

[stinky@redlemmy.com]

i don't know but at my funeral i want to be fired out of a cannon with confetti

[suck_on_my_presence@lemmy.world]

• Heart/Lung failure (I have a nasty condition)
• Car Accident
• Lung transplant gone wrong
• Cancer
• Freak accident

Maybe the freak accident will be like some final destination crazy thing. Like I'll get smushed by a piano falling from a building, or I'll be attacked by an eagle and it'll cut the jugular. Maybe air force one will be shot down and land on my apartment sorta Donnie Darko style. Hahahaha

[sassyramen@lemmy.world]

I got checked a few years ago, have calcium build up in an artery, but other than that my heart was healthy. Thanks for looking out, I appreciate it.

[noerknhar@feddit.org]

Flipping off the wrong guy. I'm almost sure.

[slazer2au@lemmy.world]

Na, already been zapped at 240v mains voltage didn't do much.

[proudblond@lemmy.world]

All of my aunts and uncles on one side have had it, including my dad. Various types. Just found out my cousin also has it so that kind of wiped out my slim hope that they had been exposed to something environmental instead of it being genetic.

[jordanlund@lemmy.world]

Definitely heart.

Here's my story, please take from it and do not do what I did... (LONG STORY)

First heart attack was 3 days after Thanksgiving, 2018. It presented as really bad heartburn. 24 hour a day heartburn. Unrelenting, unresponsive to Pepto heartburn.

In my defense it WAS 3 days after Thanksgiving, and I DID have that extra plate of sweet potatoes.

Monday, heartburn all day, hard to sleep.
Tuesday, same.
Wednesday, same + nausea and vomiting, called out sick from work (yes, I worked Mon/Tue).

Thursday... The heartburn pain moved into my upper arms, which I did not know was a thing. The pain in my chest was gone, but it felt like I had a STONE in the center of my chest, heavy, pulling down on my innards.

Advice line sent me to the ER, ER ran a simple Troponin blood test, normal is 0-99, mine was 328. Confirming the heart attack but at this point the damage was done and the only fix was an open heart bypass. Doc tells me the heavy feeling was my heart, each heartbeat was only pumping out 30% the normal amount which is right on the line between "walking around, talking to people", and no longer "walking around, talking to people."

Thu-Sun - Cardiac Ward.
Mon - Open Heart Surgery, ICU.
Tue - ICU.
Wed-Fri - Cardiac Ward, and back home.

1/2/2019 - I start having complications. If I lie down, I can't breathe, it's like I'm drowning in my own bed... BUUUUT... My company got acquired by a new one on 1/1 which meant my health insurance changed, I lost my hospital and all of my doctors and had to start over in a new medical system with the new insurance.

"Oh, you can't just 'go' to Cardology, you have to see primary care first, and there's a 3 month wait."

Twisted some arms, explained I just got cut open like a lobster and couldn't breathe, got an appt. in 2 weeks.

So I bought a fancy travel pillow and slept sitting up for 2 weeks since laying down would drown me.

Primary care checks me out, sends me home, says "Wait for my call." Call comes the next day... Congestive Heart Failure, get to the ER immediately.

I had developed an irregular heartbeat and my chest was full of fluid, when I would lay down, the fluid would level, crushing my heart and lungs. That feeling like I was drowning? Yeah, I was drowning, in my own chest fluid.

7 days in the hospital, they pulled 4 liters of fluid out EVERY DAY. 48 pounds of fluid.

Over the course of 2019 it was one complication after another after another. We continued juggling meds of different types and dosages.

By 2024 I had a bout where I was seriously out of breath, not like the CHF drowning thing, but I'd get out of breath walking to the bathroom.

Doc sends me to the ER where I have the 2nd heart attack. In the middle of a snow and ice storm. And a power outage.

"Did I just have a stroke?"

"Naw, it's cool, emergency generator just kicked in..."

Because of the snow and ice, I couldn't get to my preferred hospital, I had to go to the closest one, which wasn't the best one.

They did confirm the heart attack, and ran an angiogram to confirm I needed a stent, but couldn't do the stent. I'd have to be ambulanced to the GOOD hospital for the stent.

BUUUT... emergency services were overloaded due to the storm and the ambulance couldn't get there right away.

First night in the hospital... wake up at 6 AM, fiddling around on my phone, hey, Lemmy aint gonna moderate itself!

Nurse comes in:

"Were you asleep about an hour ago?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Your heart rate dropped to 40."

"Ummm... is that bad? I don't know these things."

Yeah, it's bad.

So ambulance still can't get there... One more night in the hospital. Same deal. Next morning, same nurse comes in.

"Were you asleep about an hour ago?"

"Yeah, why? Heart rate again?"

"No, your heart stopped for 8 seconds."

"Ummm... 'thank you'? I don't know what the correct response is to 'your heart stopped'. Shouldn't the alarms and stuff have gone off? I don't remember hearing anything."

"Oh, they don't go off in the room, they went off at the nurses station."

Ambulance finally arrived, got me to the GOOD hospital, and I got the stent and survived.

[calabast@lemm.ee]

Maybe they will incorrectly claim you've died, and then your cause of death will be being fired out of a cannon with confetti. That'd be one for the record books.