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So proud!

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • R [email protected]

    Can someone mansplain mansplaining to me? It seems like any time someone with a beard inhales sharply.

    Kind of like how manspreading is men sitting down.

    And the male gaze is men looking at things.

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    wrote last edited by
    #46

    Mansplaining is when a man & woman have a conversation, he catches a puzzled look on her face with prolonged silence, he proceeds to elaborate & try to clarify the last topic to clear up confusion so she can participate, thereby pisses her off, because she already understood & the man didn't mindread.
    It's basically like any human interaction.

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    • sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS [email protected]

      Unfortunately I am autistic and explaining something I think is cool. Only it gets interpreted as condescension 😞

      Its not always but its often enough

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      wrote last edited by
      #47

      I definitely get the same sorta thing, you just gotta practice managing it. Usually I’ll say something like “I have many thoughts and don’t wanna mansplain but I don’t know your familiarity
” and then ramble. Context is important, and a lot of people also don’t know where we’re at or where we’re coming from so if we just bust down the door and start telling them how something is then that’s kinda on us to manage.

      And if they don’t take the clear opportunities I give them to slow me down and then say I should have somehow known better I ask them how on earth I was supposed to know what they never shared. People will often chill out after that.

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      • B [email protected]
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        wrote last edited by [email protected]
        #48

        gotta love how every time there is a woman voiceing an opinion thats critizising men just in the slightest, the comments are filled makeing sure we know "bUT Not aLL MeN"

        hot take: if you feel the need to defend yourself from such takes, maybe its time for some self-reflection 🙂

        sharkattak@kbin.melroy.orgS C isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.deI 3 Replies Last reply
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        • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.worksV [email protected]

          You are a starship troopers propaganda video. Would you like to know more?

          grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgG This user is from outside of this forum
          grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgG This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #49

          Yep! I even use that tone of voice with him.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • R [email protected]

            Manspreading is more often when dudes intentionally take up more sitting space than they clearly need in public when it's obvious there is enough space for additional people. Often it's a lack of self awareness.

            I feel like doing it intentionally and doing it because you're lacking self awareness are sorta at odds

            banana@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by [email protected]
            #50

            Fair enough, let's just assume most of them lack self awareness, because that makes the most sense.

            There are definitely some cases where it's intentional, I've definitely experienced dudes trying to take my space on the bus by pushing into my leg that is currently existing in my chair space.

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            • B [email protected]
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              wrote last edited by
              #51

              I explain basic things to anyone if they sound or act like they don't know.

              J 1 Reply Last reply
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              • S [email protected]

                What I picture in my head when I hear the term manspreading is the guy on every bus or subway who is sitting in a middle seat with legs spread wide. It could also be arms around the backs of the surrounding chairs.

                banana@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
                banana@sh.itjust.worksB This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #52

                Yeah pretty much the jist of it.

                Tbf I see teenagers do it a lot too but their brains aren't fully developed yet.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgG [email protected]

                  My partner has taught/trained me to ask "would you like to hear more?" before I info-dump on him.

                  Example:
                  Me: "at work today I've been playing around with configuration settings for Primo VE, specifically the search scopes... Um... would you like to hear more?"

                  Response: "I'm glad you have an interesting problem at work and no, no thank you."

                  C This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #53

                  Then she spent two hours talking about every single thing she experienced at work and her remarks on them...

                  grysbok@lemmy.sdf.orgG 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • R [email protected]

                    Asking someone to explain something is none of those things.

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #54

                    BTW I think you are a fine fella. Sorry I didn't say that more. I wish ya the best.

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                    • C [email protected]

                      The meme: A dude condescendingly explaining something to a woman.

                      The comments: Men patting each other on the back for saying it's okay to explain things.

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #55

                      People on each side of the issue can have different opinions on it. Maybe the solution is in the middle...

                      C 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • missjinx@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                        Men do mensplain but they do it most if you are a week "cute girl". In my line of work I have to be kind of a bitch (not asshole just not girly), if I'm cute I won't get anything done. Nobody mensplain anything to a bitch. They roll their eyes and just do whater you want fast so you cam go away.

                        In my private life I'm usually the one womensplaing

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                        wrote last edited by
                        #56

                        Do what I say, not what I do...

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                        • B [email protected]
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #57

                          "Mansplaining" is sexist. It's the equivalent of saying women are airheads, or gossips, or talk too much.

                          Is each man expected to just... Assume that everyone else shares their exact knowledge? Would such an assumption not therefore eliminate most communication entirely?

                          Or what if we decided to divide up groups by something other than gender. Would it be okay to say "asiansplaining" or "jewsplaining" or "gaysplaoning"?

                          Can a trans-man mansplaining? Can a trans-woman mansplain? Is there a separate category of "transplaining"?

                          S kolanaki@pawb.socialK samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS D A 10 Replies Last reply
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                          • B [email protected]
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #58

                            My SO put it perfectly when I apologized for talking too much, she said "it's ok, I know you like to listen to yourself"

                            And honestly, I do talk to myself when nobody's around and there isn't a huge difference in what I'm saying in either context.

                            I'm not having a conversation with myself, I'm just kind of thinking out loud.

                            jackbydev@programming.devJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • A [email protected]

                              This is just a good approach. I treat humans like cute animals. Not gonna get bit by a bunny and hope it burns in hell.

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                              wrote last edited by
                              #59

                              It wouldn't matter whether I'm infodumping or mansplaining, I would love this response.

                              Positive feedback pweeese!

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • C [email protected]

                                People on each side of the issue can have different opinions on it. Maybe the solution is in the middle...

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                                wrote last edited by
                                #60

                                One side of the issue: A woman annoyed because men talk down to her, comes up with a solution.

                                The other side: ?

                                The middle: ??

                                C 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA [email protected]

                                  I also love explaining things and get excited when it's an area i know about, and then got accused of mansplaining. seeing that many men in these comments suffered the same fate, maybe some women could become more chill lol

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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #61

                                  I hate explaining things, there's for sure other people out there and even in YouTube that can explain it better. So instead I just give sarcastic answers and hope they don't believe me. I do think mansplaining is hilarious though, and will mock it sometimes by doing it back to whoever started. But I don't like getting hit so I don't do it so often anymore

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                                  • I [email protected]

                                    Funny, you cut off the important bit right before that quote where the man cut her off as she was about to explain her most recent book. Here’s a bit of context:

                                    “She began to talk about her most recent, on Eadweard Muybridge, whereupon the man cut her off and asked if she had "heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year"—not considering that it might be (as, in fact, it was) Solnit's book.

                                    See how the context changes the situation? She was already speaking, and the man cut her off, assuming she was unaware, and explained to her something that he would have learned to be unnecessary if he had simply treated her as a conversation partner to be listened to, rather than something to be narrated at.

                                    I can already tell I’m not going to be able to convince you, though. In order to support your point (and, perhaps, avoid any self-reflection) you’ve ignored nuance - generally bad practice when talking about the intricacies of social interaction. Certainly, men monologue to men, men monologue to women, women monologue to men, and women monologue to women, but much like when people equivocate the fear of sexual assault to the fear of false accusations, the thing being ignored is the amount that these things happen; they are not equivalent.

                                    To be absolutely clear: I am a man. An autistic man, even. One who loves to learn, loves to info-dump, and has more female friends than male. In all my time info-dumping to my female friends, I have never once been accused of mansplaining, because I ask before I explain to ascertain their knowledge, and I actually listen when they speak.

                                    Funny how that works.

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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #62

                                    I genuinely don’t understand what difference it makes. She began to explain, implying she hadn’t said she was the author of the book he had locked and loaded. He cut her off. This could either be excitement on the topic they both had interest in or a slightly rude faux pas.

                                    If she said “yep, heard of that book — I wrote it” and he said “you can’t be the author — you’re a woman” the misogyny would be obvious.

                                    The fact that one person cut another off in one conversation doesn’t mean every time a man opens his mouth he’s “mansplaining”. Or maybe it does, since the definition seems to mean whatever the speaker wishes it to be. Bringing me back to my first post.

                                    K 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS [email protected]

                                      Unfortunately I am autistic and explaining something I think is cool. Only it gets interpreted as condescension 😞

                                      Its not always but its often enough

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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #63

                                      As someone with friends and family on the spectrum, my best tip:

                                      Take a moment to breathe when you've completed a thought related to what you're explaining, and look at the other person to see if they have information to share, questions, or just to express what they know.

                                      This helped a few folks pace themselves, and the break for others they believe helped in not appearing condescending.

                                      Hope this helps!

                                      B 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • sharkfucker420@lemmy.mlS [email protected]

                                        Unfortunately I am autistic and explaining something I think is cool. Only it gets interpreted as condescension 😞

                                        Its not always but its often enough

                                        bahnd@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #64

                                        Noone ever really grows up, some people are just better at hiding it.

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                                        • S [email protected]

                                          What I picture in my head when I hear the term manspreading is the guy on every bus or subway who is sitting in a middle seat with legs spread wide. It could also be arms around the backs of the surrounding chairs.

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                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #65

                                          You know men tend to be larger than women?

                                          I had a live-in partner complain that all the clothes in the laundry basket were mine, implying she was doing most of the laundry. I looked. We wore the same amount of clothes, mine were just bigger, taking a larger volume.

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