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  3. Conditional Baptism

Conditional Baptism

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Programmer Humor
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  • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

    Baptism is such a weird thing. It's ritualized cleansing turned into one and done

    You can get baptized as many times as you like, it doesn't stack

    M This user is from outside of this forum
    M This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #7

    The LDS (Mormons) actually do repeat it, in a sense. Their weekly sacrament is a renewal of their baptismal blessings

    M 1 Reply Last reply
    6
    • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by
      #8

      Which denominations implement idempotent baptisms?

      1 Reply Last reply
      8
      • G [email protected]

        Could you imagine how op you could become though if baptisms stacked

        theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
        theneverfox@pawb.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #9

        Can you get more clean than clean?

        Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

        gutek8134@lemmy.worldG _ V V 4 Replies Last reply
        4
        • C [email protected]

          That honestly seems like the best way to write conditionalBaptize but I still hate it. Probably because IRL you'd just rewrite baptism instead of retrofitting the function with a clever use of id.

          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #10

          This is probably an ok use for a GADT. Something like:

          {-# LANGUAGE DataKinds      #-}
          {-# LANGUAGE GADTs          #-}
          {-# LANGUAGE KindSignatures #-}
          
          data Bap = Baptized | Unbaptized
          
          data Person :: Bap -> * where
             Baptize :: Person Unbaptized -> Person Baptized
             NewPerson :: Person Unbaptized
          
          conditionalBaptize :: Person a -> Person Baptized
          conditionalBaptize p =
              case p of NewPerson -> Baptize p
                        Baptize _ -> p
          
          main = return ()
          
          K 1 Reply Last reply
          8
          • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
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            wrote last edited by
            #11

            Sounds like Haskell needs an official Saint.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

              Baptism is such a weird thing. It's ritualized cleansing turned into one and done

              You can get baptized as many times as you like, it doesn't stack

              T This user is from outside of this forum
              T This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #12

              Baptism is such a weird thing.

              I think Haskell is such a weird thing

              E 1 Reply Last reply
              24
              • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                Can you get more clean than clean?

                Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                gutek8134@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
                gutek8134@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #13

                I think erasing one's body could make you more clean than clean

                V 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • S [email protected]

                  This is probably an ok use for a GADT. Something like:

                  {-# LANGUAGE DataKinds      #-}
                  {-# LANGUAGE GADTs          #-}
                  {-# LANGUAGE KindSignatures #-}
                  
                  data Bap = Baptized | Unbaptized
                  
                  data Person :: Bap -> * where
                     Baptize :: Person Unbaptized -> Person Baptized
                     NewPerson :: Person Unbaptized
                  
                  conditionalBaptize :: Person a -> Person Baptized
                  conditionalBaptize p =
                      case p of NewPerson -> Baptize p
                                Baptize _ -> p
                  
                  main = return ()
                  
                  K This user is from outside of this forum
                  K This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #14

                  Thank you for refactoring baptism. How do we push this to production now?

                  stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS 1 Reply Last reply
                  10
                  • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                    Can you get more clean than clean?

                    Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                    _ This user is from outside of this forum
                    _ This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #15

                    I imagine if baptisms stacked, you could pile on a gazillion of them like ablative armor against incoming sin.

                    theneverfox@pawb.socialT N 2 Replies Last reply
                    20
                    • M [email protected]

                      The LDS (Mormons) actually do repeat it, in a sense. Their weekly sacrament is a renewal of their baptismal blessings

                      M This user is from outside of this forum
                      M This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #16

                      Probably the reason some other sects call double-dipping a sin, so as to not be like those Mormons.

                      C 1 Reply Last reply
                      3
                      • K [email protected]

                        Thank you for refactoring baptism. How do we push this to production now?

                        stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        stizzah@lemmygrad.mlS This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #17

                        Hey hey hey, let's start with a PR, we are not savages here aren't we?

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        3
                        • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #18

                          A 1 Reply Last reply
                          45
                          • C [email protected]

                            Per the actual wiki, some denominations seem to think it's a sin or heresy to do someone more than once. Which seems like what the nullification in the baptize function is supposed to capture.

                            V This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #19

                            some denominations seem to think it's a sin or heresy to do someone more than once

                            Those denominations must have really high divorce rates..

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            16
                            • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                              Can you get more clean than clean?

                              Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                              V This user is from outside of this forum
                              V This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #20

                              Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                              Doubly so with religion, though 🤷

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • gutek8134@lemmy.worldG [email protected]

                                I think erasing one's body could make you more clean than clean

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                                wrote last edited by
                                #21

                                So what you're saying is that fundies need to be cremated? Possibly AFTER death from other causes?

                                fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF 1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • theneverfox@pawb.socialT [email protected]

                                  Can you get more clean than clean?

                                  Numbers are a human thing. The universe don't care

                                  V This user is from outside of this forum
                                  V This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #22

                                  Conceptual numeracy is a human thing. The universe absolutely cares about quantifiable physical properties which we represent as numbers.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  3
                                  • F [email protected]

                                    Sounds like Haskell needs an official Saint.

                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #23

                                    There's an old joke about functional programming separating Church from state.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    10
                                    • V [email protected]

                                      So what you're saying is that fundies need to be cremated? Possibly AFTER death from other causes?

                                      fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      fuglyduck@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #24

                                      no no. they need to switch to Flouroantimonic acid instead of just flowing water.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                        #25

                                        How would this read try-catch-ing with the Mormon baptism for dead Jewish people ?

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • maven@lemmy.zipM [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #26

                                          Priest: If you are not yet baptised, I baptise you in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit. Else break.

                                          Parents: *sweating nervously*...else what

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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