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  3. IT jobs explained with a broken lightbulb

IT jobs explained with a broken lightbulb

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programmerhumor
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  • B [email protected]

    Support would be like

    User reports lightbulb is broken.
    Tries to talk user through troubleshooting.
    Problem resolved by turning on light.

    N This user is from outside of this forum
    N This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #21

    More like:

    Use reports lightbulb is broken. Support spends an hour talking user through diagnostic tests. Determines that the lightbulb in question is a houseplant.

    1 Reply Last reply
    17
    • sabata11792@ani.socialS [email protected]

      User can not find switch. Guided to switch, user said switch operation is too complicated and refused further troubleshooting. Escalated.

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #22

      User is very upset. It was a broken bulb last time, so it must be a broken bulb this time. Why can't the help desk make bulbs that don't break? Bulb was fine, user was locking and unlocking the door instead of flipping the light switch.

      1 Reply Last reply
      18
      • T [email protected]

        found in my archives

        J This user is from outside of this forum
        J This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #23

        Full stack developer:

        The lightbulb is broken. Deploys a lightweight fix that involves 17 metric tons of chandeliers, stadium floodlights, sconces, and the necessary infrastructure to operate the street lights for a city of 500.000. His solution delivers a solid 100 lm of light using only 175 MW of power.

        capuccino@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
        47
        • J [email protected]

          Full stack developer:

          The lightbulb is broken. Deploys a lightweight fix that involves 17 metric tons of chandeliers, stadium floodlights, sconces, and the necessary infrastructure to operate the street lights for a city of 500.000. His solution delivers a solid 100 lm of light using only 175 MW of power.

          capuccino@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          capuccino@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #24

          why they are like that ๐Ÿ˜ž

          J 1 Reply Last reply
          11
          • T [email protected]

            found in my archives

            match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
            match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #25

            honestly huge respect to ops

            T 1 Reply Last reply
            33
            • capuccino@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

              why they are like that ๐Ÿ˜ž

              J This user is from outside of this forum
              J This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #26

              Because JavaScript and its complete absence of a standard library is a horrible abomination that should've been put out of our misery years ago.

              B 1 Reply Last reply
              17
              • J [email protected]

                Because JavaScript and its complete absence of a standard library is a horrible abomination that should've been put out of our misery years ago.

                B This user is from outside of this forum
                B This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #27

                I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.

                S U 2 Replies Last reply
                11
                • B [email protected]

                  I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #28

                  Imagine you went through the pain of learning it to make a web front end. You want to make back end things too, but they all require knowing different languages. You're not learning another language, learning this one was hard enough! Easier to keep using the same horrible language for everything, of course.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  7
                  • P [email protected]

                    I have a feeling AI won't take my role, AI will force me to take ownership of more products. I worry greatly about that.

                    openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                    openstars@piefed.socialO This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #29

                    Yes, this is greatly to be feared:-). But at least you will have a job, other than "factory worker" like everyone else seems to be geared into becoming (either that or soilent green / food - I wish I were joking, though possibly the person in charge who put forth that idea was joking at least? I mean... unless we are into it? No? Okay we can wait on that one...).

                    You will just have to manage all of the products that the company can force upon you, while they do the "real" work - of golfing, ofc! ๐Ÿ˜‰

                    Also I now realize that my above messages were slightly incorrect - they were for the "Project Manager" role, which is distinct from your role as "Product Owner", and then "Product Manager" is a whole other thing... I guess, but I have no idea what the latter is supposed to do, really.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • T [email protected]

                      found in my archives

                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      A This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #30

                      Psychologist tries to help lightbulb understand why it is broken and how to fix itself.

                      Lightbulb refuses to respond to therapy, gives the silent treatment.

                      Psy goes home without success, falls into severe depression due to fear of never experiencing light again.

                      appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA 1 Reply Last reply
                      5
                      • T [email protected]

                        found in my archives

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #31

                        Today I broke a colleague's app, because I repurposed an unused app registration on azure, or at least I thought it was unused. I thought that would be faster than asking the admins for a new registration on a Friday afternoon. But I forgot that I had used that registration for my colleague 's application.

                        So when he came complaining that it didn't work, I just told him he had done something wrong and that he should just restart his computer.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        12
                        • B [email protected]

                          I can't understand how anyone looked at JavaScript, worked with it for a bit, then decided they wanted to use it to build full applications.

                          U This user is from outside of this forum
                          U This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #32

                          Wait, writing backends with JS make you fullstack?

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          4
                          • T [email protected]

                            found in my archives

                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            L This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #33

                            Overall I'd say pretty accurate.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • T [email protected]

                              found in my archives

                              C This user is from outside of this forum
                              C This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                              #34

                              SRE:

                              • Receives a slack message that lighbulb is broken
                              • Realizes that they never got an alert when the light went out
                              • Fixes their monitoring thresholds
                              • Routes all broken lightbulb alerts to a slack channel nobody reads
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              19
                              • A [email protected]

                                Psychologist tries to help lightbulb understand why it is broken and how to fix itself.

                                Lightbulb refuses to respond to therapy, gives the silent treatment.

                                Psy goes home without success, falls into severe depression due to fear of never experiencing light again.

                                appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                                appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #35

                                ...and begins to dance gangnam style

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • T [email protected]

                                  found in my archives

                                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                                  I This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #36

                                  Moths: weโ€™ll see ourselves out, thereโ€™s greener pastures brighter lightbulbs out there.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  9
                                  • match@pawb.socialM [email protected]

                                    honestly huge respect to ops

                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #37

                                    The ops guy drew up multiple plans for a redundant light source and plans to train staff on light bulb replacement protocols, but was overruled by management who found this to be too costly. Maybe next year tho.

                                    H 1 Reply Last reply
                                    15
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      Support would be like

                                      User reports lightbulb is broken.
                                      Tries to talk user through troubleshooting.
                                      Problem resolved by turning on light.

                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #38

                                      I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!

                                      H 1 Reply Last reply
                                      3
                                      • T [email protected]

                                        The ops guy drew up multiple plans for a redundant light source and plans to train staff on light bulb replacement protocols, but was overruled by management who found this to be too costly. Maybe next year tho.

                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #39

                                        I know so many ops people who are practically functional alcoholics and I'm not surprised at all

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        4
                                        • T [email protected]

                                          I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution. It's more like: Hey support, I need a floorplan of the building containing positions of all electrical wiring. High priority, department is at a complete stop rn!

                                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                                          H This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #40

                                          I wish users would report their problem istead of what they think is the solution.

                                          And when they do report the problem, they should report the actual problem they had and not what they think the problem is.

                                          So instead of eg. "my computer's been hacked!", it's actually "I saw a scary error dialog I didn't understand"

                                          P 1 Reply Last reply
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