New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI
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fucking gay woke ai telling to eat more vegetables
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The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.
We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
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Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
And yet...
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During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting
Or just an extra upward facing camera.
Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”
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AI is automating the job of the owners of "sick toilets" (that's what we call those weird toilets with the poo shelves).
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won't someone think of the shareholders?
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Now poopin #2573819 analyzing.... Not mouse based on diameter, not horse due to consistency, not human or dog according to length. Cow not detected via splat-o-meter measuring system.
Wombat detected!
Geometry based wombat detection system has detect wombat poop. 50% confidence. It could also be Lego.
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What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don't want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.
Edit: actually, I don't want to see theirs either
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During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.
Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests
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I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data
I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally
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Wait, are you the AI?
Yeah. Don't even need a real algorithm to make me. I'll just repeat the same thing
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We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.
But everyone doesn't want to live in a post-scarcity society. Lack of survival challenge leads to mental degradation.
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Just a screen that says, "corn again, huh?"
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I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.
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Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?
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Not even your shittiest moments will be out of reach for the AI.
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Smart pipe?
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I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I'm sure all the analysis can be done locally
How will line go up then? Tech isn't cheap to research/implement and investors will require returns asap. At least here in the US 🫠
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Smart pipe?
They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they'll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.
