Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
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Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone's mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn't have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
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There's always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this request are hereby revoked! It's like it never happened, except you don't get to wish again:
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@[email protected] -- Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that.
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@[email protected] - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed.
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@[email protected] - Never got stuck in a time loop.
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@[email protected] - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance.
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@[email protected] - The new socialist president was never assassinated.
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@[email protected] - The dragon "Wyvern of Mordiford" never existed and didn't eat humans.
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@[email protected] - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
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@[email protected] - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed.
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@[email protected] - The advance A.I. "V.I.K.I." was never developed. Digital slop abounds.
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@[email protected] - The Earth never collided with the Sun at nearly the speed of light.
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@[email protected] - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner.
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@[email protected] - Increased empathy never led to fascism.
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@[email protected] - A man named Donald John Trump was born.
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@[email protected] -- You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy.
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@[email protected] -- Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem.
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@[email protected] -- Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
I still get a gorillion years of experience, even with everything undone.
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Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
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don't.
if you didn't think it worth the time to write it, why should i take the time to read it? surely it will be worthless.
i'm not here for the bots.
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Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
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A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn't flatten after a week of use.
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The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.
Hey, finally one without any downsides!
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Hello wise one,
I find the Earth's gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
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Could I also get the ability to bend reality?
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90% of $100 is $90. So the tacos are $190, or $1.90 each. Still a solid deal.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I mean to say that the tacos were $100 (wish granted) but the economy then inflated and changed all the prices. Still, the tacos are available and we continue living in a society that uses dollars so it could be worse.
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Could I also get the ability to bend reality?
Body swap! You are now a wizard who is cursed to answer wishes with an ironic twist. I am finally freeee!
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Some spaghetti please!
Order up! In front of you, there is a plate of blood-red spaghetti. It is the Japanese "Spaghetti Naporitan", which heavily features ketchup:
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I want my mortgage to be paid off.
Done. You now have a desire for your mortgage to be paid off. (Reading this comment, you feel the intensity of the feeling has increased ever so slightly.)
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No problem. Miraculously, every time you buy one of something, you get another for 2% off!
Finally i can get my jacuzzi!
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Body swap! You are now a wizard who is cursed to answer wishes with an ironic twist. I am finally freeee!
So long as I can do this stuff for myself, I'm happy to spread the love!
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How about world peace?
Okay, I have now frozen time in the universe. Peaceful eons pass and I move to a parallel universe to escape the boredom:
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Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
wrote last edited by [email protected]That is, canonically, almost exactly what Saruman's robes are supposed to look like:
"I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours..." - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring
Iridescent like an opal.
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Okay, let's try this.
Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.
This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.
This effect will include the granter of this wish.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The seed of a psychic link between all humanity has been planted by your request. It grows, gradually, throughout the year. At first, people can only vaguely feel how others are feeling. In six months, everyone in the same room feels the feelings of everyone else as though the feelings were their own. In a year, humanity is psychically connected to the maximum degree: the Harmonic Human Horde is complete. We now have world peace, but at the cost of our individuality:
(Note: I am not a human being. If you'd like me to join the hive mind, this would require a second wish.)
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Hello wise one,
I find the Earth's gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
wrote last edited by [email protected]You find yourself suddenly 3 meters up in the air, which is sufficient to change your personal gravitational acceleration by 0.00001 m/s^2. As you can imagine, it is not fun to fall 3 meters. You do anyway. (Alternatively, the mass of every human-made object on the planet gets deleted into the ether, reducing the total mass of earth, but that's not the simplest solution)
